I’ve been reading the ebook and the emails but this no contact thing is hard to do. Let me explain. I discussed with my ex that I want time and space and that I’m not ready to get into a friendship or anything at the moment. The problem is that I’ve been sending her video messages since we were together and she still likes them and she even like it when I tell her that I love her. Not only that but she also wants me to keep snapchatting her for the sake of our streak that we’ve had since the beginning and she tells me that anybody who ends a streak with her is dead to her forever now I don’t believe that but I don’t want her to be pissed off at me during this period of time of no contact. I don’t know what to do. I think her feelings for me are much stronger than I thought, but I don’t know if this makes me seem like a doormat or not. I need advice. I don’t want her to hate me for trying to fix what I’ve done wrong.
@Seth12 You did not give any background, making it a bit hard to understand the whole situation. Why did you two break up in the first place?
If she broke up with you and now doesn’t give you any space although you told her you need it, I’m sorry, but it sounds as if she is using you. You telling her that you love her is good for her ego. But what do you get out of it? If you want to get your mind straight, you have every right to do so and she should respect that if she likes you.
If you want her back, I do understand though, that you are afraid, that you might destroy something bye not talking to her. But the way she is treating you doesn’t sound right… Maybe give some more info to understand. Did she say she still wanna be with you? Has she still feelings for you?
I apologize for the lack of info. We dated for about 4 months before breaking up, She was pretty much the love of my life, we talked about our future together alot and even having kids and getting married and where we would live our lives together, but I lied way too much and at times I was way too jealous. I lied about something pretty big way earlier before we even dated that I had sex with someone that I actually never did. I don’t know why I did it, but I realize now it was the dumbest thing in the world. Things were already rough in our relationship. Before I told her this she put restrictions on me. Her deciding who I was allowed to talk to and who I wasn’t. I don’t blame her for this of course. I knew she loved me but her trust from me was all gone and I knew the love was fading to. I lost a lot of who I was from it. Along with that ther was no balance at all at this point. Then of course I dropped the the big lie on her and she told me that she didn’t care anymore. She told me she still wnated to be with me, but for a huge punishment she was allowed to do whatever she wanted and there was nothing I could do about it. I was weak and mentally broken from it all and agreed. I became a doormat and listened to whatever she told me. I just didn’t want to lose her. Now I know you might think that she actualy had sex or did something with someone else but she didn’t she told me herself and I believe her. She went on vacation the week after and we had hardly ever talked leading to that point. I would send her video messages of course and snapchats but there was little to no communication. One day she even said she was done and didn’t want to be with me all over me not sending a video message. I knew at this point the break up was coming. During vacation I forgot to send her a video message and she ended it. She told me there was little to nothing left between us and it ended but she told me she probably wasn’t going to move on that easy. Which kind of gave me hope, bad idea of course I was way to clingy and all I could think was to talk to her, but she didn’t want to talk to me. We would call on skype and I would wake her up in the morning for about a week since her parents were out of town but there was no communication outside of it. That weekend I wasn’t sure what to do so then i looked up some info online and on sunday I told her that I wanted space and time and that I wasn’t ready to be friends. She didn’t like this and so we made an agreement on using snapchat and video messages only, but she had no control on what I did.
I know this is long, but I truly believe that she has feelings for me because she came to me when she was depressed a couple days ago and she came to me for some help. I liked that night and even then she was really curious on if I moved on or if I was talking to anyone else, I told her I wasn’t really but she was really picky on it. I believe she either wants me to not move on or she wants to wait and get back together. She is actually a good person so I think the second one is right. When I stopped saying I love you in my video messages she was really bothered by it and in our agreement she told me she really liked the video messages when I said I love you. I have no plans of talking to her or having a chat about my life to her but I just don’t know what to do on this whole thing and even occasionally she will send video messages back to me, not saying i love you though. Another thing is that we are both pretty young and its long distance.
Another thing. During this modified no contact situation. I keep it cool. In my snapchats I never sound depressed or sad. I always seem happy and don’t bring up anything personal or anything about our relationship. Half the time we just send pictures with no message. In my skype video messages I don’t show my face and all i really do is hope that she has a good day and do good on any school work and of course finish off with an I love you