My ex broke up with me 2 months ago, and we been “friends” since. We got into an argument the other night because of Facebook. She started taking down pics of her and I. I obviously was not ready for this. I am starting my no contact period. Do I still have a chance of getting her back, since we been friends and it seems she is ready to move on?
There’s a lot of things that factor in to getting someone back. 30 days no contact is a powerful move. I’d say you have a much better chance at getting her back with 30 days no contact, then if you continued just being friends and arguing.
Thanks! I hope so
I like to think that there is always hope of getting back someone you want more than anything. How did your friendship go? My ex wanted to be friends as we were friends before we dated, but I am in love with her so I just can’t stomach the thought of only being friends. I wish that I could because I miss her so much, and I almost wonder if I could rekindle interest better as friends, but I don’t know.
No contact will help you heal and help you decide if the relationship is something that you want.
Our Friendship, unfortunately, was on-sided. She wanted a friendship after the break, and I felt like this was a way to get her to understand that we could get back together by rekindling everything.
I was the only one calling, texting, and initiating hanging out. She delted me from Facebook after a month, and I left it alone. Unfortunately all that got to me and we had an argument about the pics of her and I on Facebook. Now she blocked me on Facebook, and I have very little hope in us getting back.
I’m doing the No Contact period to heal and have her heal as well. When I contact her next month, I hope she will respond
Being friends with my ex has been very hit or miss. When we hang out in person sparks fly just like they used to, more so than ever before actually. Then we are apart and I am the only one making any effort. I decided it wasn’t right for me and went NC for a week so far though I’m going to keep going, if you feel confused and unappreciated like me I think NC for a while has the potential to help a lot. Plus keep in mind she doesn’t just think, she KNOWS if she wanted to she could text you and you’d be right there for her in a second because you have been so far, go NC and she will have to really feel the pain of losing you instead of having you as someone to talk to if she’s bored or lonely, because unfortunately that’s the sad truth that most of the time she is bored or lonely when she talks to you. Ignore her for now and make her realize she lost a great guy, make her put in the effort to make things work.
I believe you are right. That is how it was until the Facebook blowup. After we had the argument about Facebook and I blew up her phone, and she blocked me from that and she told me to take time for myself because she cannot be friends with me if I still have feelings for her. I feel like she is pushing me away and wont realize that she lost me
yeah. I fell for that too. after 3 months without talking I tried to (re)initiate that so desired friendship ("I want you to stay part of my life, and I truly want us to stay friends)…Yeah, sure. But it takes two and I was the only one talking and he just got more distant. That’s when I finally decided to disappear completely. Every time I do nc, he gets mail for me. this time I was really making a stand and now the ‘mistery’ is gone. …Yes. I’m here…I didn’t go anywhere. when can we meet…
I don’t think it’s useful anymore. Now he knows I’m just not using social media…
I have a similar situation of doing NC after being friends. Been two months since break up after a 3.5 year relationship. We tried the being friends thing for the last couple months. It was weird cause she still wanted me physically but not in a relationship (we have different beliefs etc and she told me she keeps records of our arguments to remind herself). The week after we broke up she skipped work to hang out and have sex. Then a few weeks later she was meeting up for sex and cuddles only every few days for a couple weeks. I got a bit annoyed that every time I asked to hang out she’d make plans to see other friends and felt like I was being used. She stopped wanting to have sex saying she felt guilty because of her religious beliefs but it was also partly because I confronted her about not making an effort to hang out.
We hung out for lunch a couple weeks ago but I told her that we should have some space for a while so I can be a proper friend in the future. 3 days later she texts me saying she was in a bad mood and anxious about things. I text back saying things will be ok etc. I’ve been no contact 12 days since then but she kept texting me; not saying she wants to get back together but just asking me things like how are you, what are you doing, you should try blah blah blah out. Two days ago she messed with my head by saying good luck with exams then an hour later saying “sigh it seems like you aren’t talking to me, good luck with your new job, I won’t talk to you anymore.”
I’m assuming this is some sort of test or reverse psychology to make me talk to her, but I don’t know why she wants me to talk to her as she gives no information in her texts. She wanted to break up and have space and when I wanted to fix things she didn’t want a bar of it. Part of me wants to remind her that I’m doing no contact for myself so she doesn’t think I’m pushing her away and the other part thinks I should say nothing so she can wonder what I’m up to.
The other thing with no contact is that it is starting to make me not want her as much. I can remember the things I didn’t like in our relationship and am more objective. I resent her more for breaking up and resent her for not giving me a chance when I always gave her a chance. I resent that it requires ignoring her for a set amount of time to be valued. That’s human nature though…I’d like to keep the option of rekindling things open though. I was thinking 2 months after a break up is too late, but if we were still having sex then the attraction must still be there? Even if we technically had broken up, we’ve never had more than a week without talking before…
Don’t play her games, you are doing what is best for you and that’s keeping away from her right now. She clearly is confused about her feelings but it isn’t fair to put her confusion onto you. By keeping away you force her to start thinking, do I want him or not?
On the attraction thing, yes she is absolutely still attracted to you…but she also wants to stay committed to the breakup, confusing right? Again it’s another sign she is very confused herself and needs time to sort things out.
It’s perfectly reasonable to be angry, it’s one of the stages of the healing process, just accept it, if you love her you’ll forgive her eventually.
The benefit to staying away from her from a bit is that you get to feel more objective and clearheaded. Don’t rise to her bait of “you don’t love me, we aren’t friends, talk to me” that’s just her wanting your attention again like you used to give her, it’s a sign of her missing you. And that is the whole point, get her missing you and while you are alone get to healing and learning from the experience. Improve yourself into not just the guy she fell in love with but that guys new and improved version. Good luck and all the best.
Thanks ate, it was very helpful. I guess I’ll go the full 30 days and see what happens. Best case we resolve things, worse case I carry on NC for over a year till I can accept being just friends.