Hello, I need some advice.
I was together with my girlfriend for 4 years. She totally loved me, but I wasnt sure about setting my life or I was too scared of it.
About 9 months ago we had some problems about it, and then about 6 months ago we broke up. Right after that I went to see the world and explore myself for a month. While travelling I told her that now I know what I want in life, but when I got back I was too coward to tell her, so the time went by.
I started to warm up our relatsionship by inviteing out her etc. Few times we had sex and I told her that I want her back. But I still did nothing special. About a month ago I totally made up my mind that Im going to get her back 100% and going to do everything possible for it. So I wanted to invite her out and have a great night, we rarely had while we were togther ( because of me again ).
But she told me that she doesent have time etc and shes going out with other people. One day she told me, that she likes someone else. Then I paniced and told her everything, that I love her, that I made big mistakes… She told me, that she doesnt know how or if it will go with new “crush”, but definetaly she doesnt want me back. She told it to me many times, when we got together and we both cried.
She gives me no hope, and she doesnt want to see me. So I pushed her to see me again and have a talk, where we talk everything. She told me that she wants me to back off from her life and just let her be, that Im strokeing her. I told her, that if this is what she wants, then Im going to quit from her life forever, and that I will love her forever. She told me that, she really cares about me, and doesnt want me to quit totally, and wants to be a friend of me. She told me that she waited for me the whole time. “Why didnt you come 3 months before, I wouldnt have even thought about it. Now its too late, I have moved on with my life finally and you should do the same” she said. Before leaving she told me " who knows, maybye Im doing the biggest mistake of my life".
I was the one, who did everything wrong while in relationship, I never told her, that I love her, and I took it too easy, because I knew that I was the first love of her life. I told her everything honestly and apologized multiple times. You can judge me, I deserve it but I really need some advice what should I do now.
I really love her and I think that deep in her heart she loves me still.
I read the all the info on this great site, but atm Im really confused, because to me it feels that when I do the 30 day NC, it would look just like the same as my whole getting her back session but indeed she needs some space. I feel that I cant wait anymore, any minute Im losing her more and more… It sounds silly but when I read about hiding the new relationship thing, I noticed that I cant see her friends anymore on FB, that she has turned it off. Its making me crazy.
I thoguht that I would stay away for a week or so, and then send her flowers and a hand written card about our memories and how great she is.
Please help 