Hi!
My first time posting here on the forum.
Me and my ex are 18. I’ll soon be 19.
We were together for 16 months.
I know that 18 is a young age for a relationship, however, we thought that we had potential. We talked about the future, about getting married, getting a house, travelling the world, and about having kids. And we truly believed those things when we talked about them. She never was in a relationship with another guy for as long as she was with me (her other relationships on avarage lasted 2-3 months) and she said that I was the first one who she truly fell in love with. She said that when she fell in love with me, that was the first time she actually experienced what “real” love is like.
The sunshine ended a little more than a month ago.
Since then I did NC and improved a lot of things about myself.
In retrospect I see that I was rather controlling at times and often pushed my wishes. I often took compromise as meaning - it being my way.
And that was very wrong of me and I’m glad that I’ve now worked on that, I only hope that I had noticed that problem earlier so I wouldn’t be where I am now.
I’ve sent the “elephant in the room” text 11 days ago. She replied some minutes later that she’s happy that I’ve improved myself but that she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to trust me on being friends.
I am now trying to start having normal conversations with her again. On some days I don’t text her, then I text her something one day, then again nothing for a little while. And so until she becomes more open. But she’s pretty resistant to it. So far her replies are either nothing or short three worded sentences. She’s also in a rebound (somewhat sure it’s a rebound). To be honest I am sort of surprised that she hasn’t blocked me. I don’t know if it’s because she’s unsure of her feelings and wants to wait for it all to play out or because I have not meantioned anything related to getting back together. I wonder how long it could take before she starts to talk to me normally again and if all is still not lost.
P.S.
Sometimes when I look back at one particular event in our relationship I remember the quote “history repeats itself”.
You see - we were just friends for the first 5 months after we met. She was not into me but really appreciated me as a friend.
On summer of 2018 (3 months into knowing each other) we both went to a summer camp.
The day before the camp she confessed she had started to have feelings for me.
Around that time I had met a girl from the U.S through a videogame and we chatted a bit and I think at that point my ex got a bit scared and so her feelings got mixed up, because two days into the camp and she told me that she has made a mistake and doesn’t want to be friends anymore. I was super heartbroken. So was she. She was good at hiding it but at times she would cry.
I left the camp on the second day of the week because I was hurt to be in the same place as her, not being able to talk to her.
And so I spent the August being in a pretty bad mood.
School started again (we go to the same school) and on the third day of the first school week she contacted me and again said how big of a mistake she has made. That she shouldn’t have stopped being friends with me. And so soon enough we were talking again and it was great. I would still be heartbroken from time to time about not being able to be with her but it was bearable.
Two months later on October we got together and this time it was for real.
As I said - from that point onward we were together for 16 months.
As I am changed now and in some ways probably so is she, I hope that history can repeat itself and we can indeed get back together again and this time stay together.
I apologize for the lengthy post and I thank anyone who read it all and replies!
Feel free to ask me any questions to specify a certain aspect.