Need Help on Increasing Contact with Ex

reconciliation
1

Let me just start by saying that my ex and I are both 25. We were together for about a year and a half and lived together for 6 months. I had some issues and I lashed out at him and ultimately kicked him out. Things ended in early May and we didn’t see or speak to each other until the middle of July. Our communication has gotten better, but we still only talk a few times a month. We have seen each other three times since the breakup. The last time was last week and it was wonderful - we just talked and joked about new things and about the times we shared together. I truly believe he still has feelings for me, but I think he’s afraid of getting hurt again, which is completely understandable. Not only did I hurt him emotionally, I kicked him out of his home.

  1. I don’t know how often I should be contacting him. I’m not even 100% sure what I should say to him. I don’t know how often I should try to see him. Like I said, we had a great time last week and I just want more of that. I need communication between us so I can earn his trust and respect back.

  2. As of right now, neither of us has a place of our own, which makes getting together difficult. Last week, we just sat in my car, which we did before we got the apartment. I moved back home so I could pay off things and I’m trying to save for a place, but that probably won’t be a possibility until the middle of next year. Should I even try to be with him at this point with this obstacle in the way? Should I just try to be friends until I can get things straightened out? Obviously, I want him back now, but I’m not sure if that’s even the best thing. I’m afraid of losing him, but I really believe he still loves me. I’m wondering if time couldn’t help by allowing him to heal and trust to give me another chance.

  3. Does anyone have any suggestions to simply get him back period? I know I hurt him deeply. How to I get him to see that I’m working on bettering myself? How do I get him to talk to me more? How do I get him to trust that I won’t hurt him again and to give me another chance to build an even better relationship than we had before?

Thanks for any help you can offer me.

2

One more thing. Is it bad that we only talk a few times a month?

That’s a far cry from how we used to be, but I’m glad that we’re even talking now. Sometimes our conversations just die out, but they are great when we can get a conversation going. I know I could make things better if we could just continue to talk through things.

Part of the communication is my fault. I try too hard to get him back and get angry when he’s not coming back to me with open arms, so then I give up. I also get upset about not seeing the results I want and I’ll say something that I know will piss him off; therefore, he won’t reply.