Hi.i broke up with my girlfriend about one month ago.in the two first week we texting each other,she told me that she loves me but she needed time.during these weeks we had 2 very bad fights!so the distance between us grow.
i have decided to do no contact and now i am in 10th date.the problem is that we work together so i see her 4 days in a week!i didn’t text her all call her at all.
After the 3rd date of non contact i saw her at the job and she didn’t even speak to me.
The reason we broke up was that i push her and because i am jealuse and insecure.the thing is that she is the same with me.jealuse and insecure.
I realise that i have a problem so i have asked help from therapist.i want to “fix” myself so if we get back together not to do the same mistakes.
My ex seems to annoyed because i didn’t text her call her or speak to her so she does things to make me feel bad.
Its very difficult for me because i love her and i think she loves me to.
We ve been together for 5 months but i chase her about six months.I am 38 and sshe is 31.the kind of job we do have temptetions.so the jealusy and insecures does exist.i understand it and try to fix it…
any advice or opinion would be helpfull…
if you read my other post you can understand how difficult is to stay NC.
And my thoughts about NC generally.read an article about NC and now im very confused.if you have the kidness to read my other post and tell me your opinion would be helpfull.
Well, I had a boyfriend when I was younger and he slapped me once. I hit him back and I told him to leave. I never took him back, even though he begged me. I just have a problem with men laying their hands on a woman, even just a push. I feel that if the woman allows it the first time, the man will do it again. That’s just my opinion. maybe your ex feels the same and is scared of you now. You should in this time of no contact go for therapy for yourself and not to get her back. At work it will be very difficult because you see each other. I understand that she does not want to talk to you and you should just leave it like that.
Just keep on being nice and also be polite to the other women in your workplace. Maybe over time she will see that you have changed.
i never slapped her!!!.i pushed her away because she was calling me very bad names and something about my family member who has cancer because she was drunk.i know that even this is a bad thing to do but she admitted that she drove me to act like this because of hers behaviour.and also admitted that she says things and do things to aggravate me.
when this happened she forgave me for the reasons above.so i believed.
i told her if she cannot get over this push thing i leave her be.but she never gave me a clear answear and she also finding reasons to keep me close to her…i am not the guy that hits women.never did!i go to the therapist because i was jealouse and insecure and not because i am a violent person.and she knows it because she told me so and because our co worker which is monstly women know me at least 5 years and never gave a reason to believe that.and because i am much older im like big brother for them.
Hi. You got the wrong impression. I just used my experience as an example and did not imply that you slapped her. Further down in my reply you will notice that I referred to the pushing episode.
Hi .I got the wrong impression because I am not thinking clearly.also for the pushing episode whatever my ex said to me, all this awful things , do not justify my reaction.i know I made mistake and push her away.thanks for your wishes.good luck and to you.i my gonna watch your situation and if I can say something to help you I will do it with glad.
I was reading all the the post here and i see that some exs has depression.i think that my ex girlfriend has some kind of issue.she also told me that has issues from her previous relationship and that she worked alone and solve it kind off.she had 3 nervous breakdowns during this relationship…how can you solve alone such us psychological issues without help of therapist?
Let me tell you some signs that I feel that my ex has depression and I would appreciate to tell me how to help her even she doesn’t not speak to me.
well she sleeps a lot 10-12 hours a day.she doesn’t work a lot to justify this.she admit that she like alcohol. She is not an alcoholic.she hasn’t any close friend so she tried to do friends who knows them for 2-3 months and tell them very personal things.like she wants to grub from someone or anything.her behaviour also is weird.think moody I guess.
I would like your opinion about that.thanks.
I have suffered from depression before. And more recently my relationship broke down because I was suffering and wasn’t doing anything about it (that’s what I believe to be the truth anyway). Because I have suffered before, I should of seen all the signs of it, upset all the time, I couldn’t control my emotions, I was irritable with EVERYONE, didn’t have any patience and I didn’t want to be around people. I have started seeing my counsellor again, exercising, surrounding myself with friends and family, and in all honesty I feel great It is possible to beat it on your own, if you have support of loved ones around you, but I think seeing a therapist is the best option, along with tablets from the doctor.
Thanks for the response KD1988.i think she has very big issue but i don’t know how to help her.when we broke up i told her as a friend to ask for a help to solve this.she laugh at me and said me that she is at her best! Although in the past admit that she has issue! Recognizer that. She don’t speak to me so it’s difficult to say something to her.any suggestion? Me on the other I ask from help when I realize that I have issues.i love her and I’m willing to do everything.
Sadly, it’s something that cannot be helped unless the person who is actually depressed a) admits they are depressed and b) wants to do something about it. It is very hard and you have to be very careful when approaching someone about it. When I was with my ex, my mum kept saying to me you need to go to doctors you’re depressed again, and I didn’t wanna hear it. It was only when my ex ended with me that I sat down and thought about everything and I realised yeah my mum was right.
Maybe you could call one of her friends or her family and just ask that they check on her that she is ok. As you are going through this, you won’t be the one that she will come to with her problems.
Thanks for the advice.the family is out of question.they should recognize the signs and help her girl.we have a mutual female fiend…i know her 5 years and my ex only 9 months.maybe i can trust her.i don’t want my ex to think that I did that because i wanna contact with her.hope our mutual female friends don’t tell anything to my ex.
You say that her family should recognise the signs, but a lot of people don’t know what the signs are. And as you say yourself, it is hard to approach her about it and she says she is fine. So she probably says this to her family as well.
I would speak to the friend and just say you are a bit concerned about her, you think she may be suffering from depression and ask that she keeps an eye on her.
I will do that.hope our mutual friends help her to see that she has unsolved issues.just want the best of her.i know it’s difficult to see that you have problems.thank you…
i will post if I have any news…
Hi
day 16 of NC.I i didnt imagine thats gonna be so difficult.although we 've seen with my ex at work she doesnt speak to me or text me or contact me in any way.exept that look the other day.so promising look.
So im thinking if she is moving on or she is waiting from me to talk to her.i dont know.im very confused.i know she is a person who wants to do things for her to understand that you love her.
another thing that i didnt mention is that before starting NC i asked from her through text to give me the keys from my house.she told me ‘‘you will have them’’ but she never returned the keys.is this means something?
do you thinnk is good to ask keys once more?and how im suppossed to do this without breaking the NC?To many questions.any opinion/advice please?
thank you guys!
I wouldn’t ask for the keys again yet. She will see that as you finding a reason to talk to her. I would still keep no contact, and then when you talk agree to meet up and then you can ask for the keys.
i thought that maybe she thinks asking my keys is away to talk to her but on the other i thought maybe she didnt returned the keys because she wants to talk to her…
i can imagine she forgot to return the keys!its not a gift if you know what i mean.
It is possible to beat it on your own, if you have support of loved ones around you, but I think seeing a therapist is the best option, along with tablets from the doctor.