Hi (sorry for the long story, just want to bring the details so it makes more sense)
So my ex (almost 30 years of age) of 8 months did a blindsided breakup just over 2 weeks ago. I was in total shock and could not believe it was the end, because he was the sweetest and most caring person I’ve been with. The breakup itself was a mess he did not want to face me but decided to send me a message which totally surprised me, once I convinced that we need to talk asap he put the focus and blame all on me. Everything I had done wrong, how I should change etc. That also was hurtful but I tried to really understand his point of view and apologized if I had been too much to handle, he said multiple times that the cares for me and still wants me in his life even though he was so cold bla bla.
I went home crying and decided I need to respect his decision and do the NC- rule before I reach out to him and really decide if I want or not. Three days later he called “lecturing” me for reaching out to a common friend and asked about my motives which totally pissed me of and I said things I shouldn’t have, once again I wanted to be mature and wrote him next day a message explaining that I am sorry for words I said when I was mad- he did not once apologize but gladly took my apology.
Then maybe 7-8 days after the call from him was made, I had to text him because I was hearing gossip he supposedly is spreading around things that are not true- because I chose to be mature and instead of accusing him I asked if he had spoken to those people and if there was any truth in this.
He became very defensive and started complaining about how I involve him in my problems. I chose to believe him ( he has always been very direct and honest) and thought these were just cruel rumors, and once again apologized that I was taking his time.
Now days later I got those rumors confirmed with proof, and in the heat of the moment, hurtful as I was I texted him but still kept my cool and asked why would he lie & what are his motives? He then got crazy mad and started to get very defensive, aggressive and told me to leave him alone that he wants nothing to do with me. I responded back to his 5 angry messages saying that I now realize he is not worth my time or my love, and let him know that I am now blocking his cell so he does not have to worry.
I am so broken by this, I cannot believe the person I loved and admired so much would treat me this way. Let alone that he is an adult who always came across as very mature, he does have a big ego though. I am not getting why he would reach out to people and gossip (on top of that thing that are not true) then get mad when I confront him. I know I am pissed now and all, but I also know what we had was beautiful and if it was up to me I would like to make things work. Do you think there is any chance at all of us talking ever again? Or fixing these problems, after the breakup I had some kind of hope but now I am so confused after the last text messages exchanged. How long should I do the NC?