Hi Kevin,
pls I need ur advice. Ive read all about the idea on how to get my ex back but iam still not sure what to do in my specific situation:
we met on ship about a year ago and spent vacation off ship and i stayed a lot in his place (he lives 6hrs away in the neighbour conuntry). everything was perfect. he didnt have a gf for 10 yrs or so and i am very careful trusting men in general. but we both were happy and in love. he wanted go get married, have kids. he bought me a ring. he sent long love messages. our passion was working out. we ran a half marathon and so on. i am normally very selfconfident and i know iam an attractive young lady. iam 26 and he is 30.
he then had a bad accident when back on ship. i quit job onboard anyway just before his accident (i wanted to work on land). i decided to work close to his home to be there for him. he was always very very active and trained and suddenly he was told that it will take about a year to heal. so i found this job close to his home and moved into his house which he shares with his parents. he told me he was ok with trying to live together. we basically only had his bedroom as private space. so i drove 2.5 hrs a day in total to get to work and back, i had a job that was ok but nothing special and i made only a bit of money. he however, was stuck at home with bis broken leg. he didnt make money and in the beginning could hardly move around. to make things short: i helped where i can. i helped to pay his bills for the house, i paid his 2000 euro surgery, i helped in the household and so on. trying to be everything he asked me for. i didnt work out a lot although it was our passion before but my mind was always with him and i wanted to help and make him feel ok.
well i concentrated less on myself, i know. i could not speak to his parents as they speak a different language. i felt lonely. when he started walking without crunches again (it will still take months to be fully healed), he started to go seeing his buddies in the pub moreoften, he didnt want to spend much time with me anymore. i understood that he needed to get out of the house too and have some space so i let him. but we fought for very little and stupid things. and sometimes i did just want him to take time for me.
he came home drunk several times a week, started smoking. when he came home from pub like this he started to be rude and mean to me: i dont do enough in the household, he has so many bills to pay and his account is in minus, i dont speak to his family, i could work out more. so i started to get better and better, in my eyes. i was gone 10hrs a day. when i was off i cleaned the house, i gave him almost all my salary. he went to get a tattoo (when we dont have money) and went to spend money in the pub every night. i told him daily that i love him and that we get through this. he often said he drinks and smokes because of me (when he was drunk)! all the money for stupid things but i remained quiet and calm because i knew he is having a hard time stuck at home. his mean words were bullits into my heart. during the day, not being drunk, he was caring about me too. he cooked and he sent nice messages and we in the beginning also went to the gym and did exercises he could do too.
so he then told me often, he doesnt want me around anymore. mostly when we fought or after pub. i packed my stuff many times and then we always decided to continue. now he kicked me out 2 weeks ago. he cried and also said he doesnt love me, he is not good for me, it is all his fault. he is still with his broken leg. he owes me a lot of money. of course when i left i tried to convince him to hang in there as in summer he should be fully healed. i did beg and cry in front of him a lot. but since 2 weeks we dont talk at all. he now blocked me on facebook too. i quit my job close to his house accepting the breakup.
I know i was caring too much for him. i know i should not have adjusted that much and give up own my dreams and my life.
i do now feel fresh and free and i went for long runs 4 times a week, changed my look, spent time with my fam. of course i miss him and people might not understand but i do love him and i accept that it all got too much for him. i also know that he often treated me wrong. now as iam concentrating on myself, i accepted a job offer back on ship. it is a managing positon and a huge chance for me. iam leaving in 3 weeks. i do feel strong and i do want him back in my life. i know how he is when he is not in health and finance issues and i want to go through the bad times with him too. i would like to offer him a long distance relationship for the summer (i did 2 weeks ago already, the day after we broke up and he did not reply) to see how things are going and to make sure we both have space. i dont know if 3 weeks no contact for him is enough to agree on seeing me. he is a very proud person and will maybe not admit that he has feelings for me (i dont know what he feels). i was going to send him a text to say iam catching up with friends in the area next week and if he wants to meet for a coffee. it would be 6hrs drive for me one way. i dont want to push or force him. but i have 3 weeks to make him want me before i leave for ship for 6 months… it sounds all crazy, right!? can you still see a way of how i can make it happen? i guess i was too much for him before. he didnt like me looking needy and lonely and not confident like i was, for sure! i was so different before/when we met. iam like this now again. but i do really love that man. he had changed a lot too!? its all the things together. the living situation, money, health. i dont want to move back in and he is almost healed and will make money. so the situation will be different…
so many fish in the ocean but he is my Nemo!
pls advise asap… feels like i need to act soon or let him go for good if i dont take action within the next days
all others pls help too 
thank you
Maddie
