Hey guys, I hope this message finds everyone well. This is my first time posting so I’m just throwing it all out there. So without further a due, here’s the novel.
My ex “G” (23) and I (24) have been together for just shy of 2 years. Everything has been great. Hardly any arguing, and when we did argue, we were able to reconcile our disagreements and move forward pretty quickly. We’ve always been super affectionate and had a really intense physical connection. I recently just got into a Chiropractic program, and have to move away (18-hour drive) at the end of June. Since she is just finishing up school, she wants to stay up here and save up some money before moving down with me and start her new job at the end of May. She’s been so supportive and says that distance doesn’t mean a thing to her and that she will move down at some point in the next 1-2 years. Marriage was also a subject brought up by both parties on separate and numerous occasions. At least that was the plan.
This past February, I noticed things between us were getting a little weird. I started to experience some hardships with my family and was starting to pull away from her and my friends. I stopped working out (I normally workout 2-3 hours a day training for weightlifting) She was always sweet and understanding and always managed to help me feel better. However, this is where I started to change. I started this constant cycle of thinking everything I did was a nuisance and began saying “did I do something wrong?” and “I’m sorry” on a daily basis. I began putting her on a pedestal and put too much stake of my happiness in the relationship. Instead of the confident guy I’ve always been, I turned into someone who needed to be in a relationship to be happy.
We began to argue more frequently. I thought every argument would result in a breakup, so I apologized profusely and offered everything from flowers to painting her toenails to try and appease her. I turned into a desperate stalker rather than the man she fell in love with. In April, we took a little week break from each other and decided to try things again. Things were not as great as they were, but still better and trending in the right direction. We spent more time with each other, got more physical again, and things were going in the right direction.
Then about 2 weeks ago on 5/3, we had an argument. I have recently got strep throat and had another rough reminder of more family issues. I was having a rough day and asked if she could swing by. She said no because she really couldn’t get sick. I responded by saying that’s fine, but I really need to be able to rely on her when S**t hits the fan. She seemed pretty upset with herself after, and we didn’t talk until that next day. We seemed to get over it and began texting very enthusiastically. Then, I got a text at 3 a.m. on 5/7 saying “sorry I’ve been so distant, I really want to change”.
After an hour-long facetime conversation, she decided to “Take time apart”. She went back and forth a few times during the conversation but ultimately wound up on ending things. She has a lot going on right now. She just graduated with her masters in education (on 5/19) and is starting her new job soon. Her parents are cutting her off as soon as she starts and I know that worries her more than she’ll ever admit. Plus, all my aforementioned behavior certainly didn’t help my case. However, she still says that she loves me, still sees a future with me, and wants to get back together, but just not right now.
Over the next week, I didn’t give her the space she was looking for. I texted her Tuesday, Thursday, and called her Saturday. She was never mean or totally dismissive. Saturday though, she was really quiet over the phone. I asked her how her week was and how her big banquet went and she gave me one-word replies. I got the hint and told her I’d get off the phone. She then reaffirmed the fact that she still sees a future with me and that she loves me.
On the next Monday, I send her the last text just stating my intentions and saying what I wanted out of the relationship. All in all, saying that I want to try to fix what we had at some point down the line and that she should feel free to talk to me when she’s ready to talk. I haven’t spoken to her since.
G also texted my mother on Sunday, saying that she and I would “probably get back together”. Which is just confusing as hell.
As of right now, I plan on extending this period of no contact for 2-3 more weeks and wait for her to contact me. In the meantime, I clearly have issues that I need to work on. I had turned into this person I wasn’t proud of, and put everything that made me happy on the back burner. I started seeing a therapist back in April during G and I’s break. I feel much better now and see the error of my ways. I feel much better and feel like I’m progressing to my old self again. I really think we still have something. I’ve never been with another person that understands me so well from my need to constantly work on my education and career to my odd sense of humor. At the end of the day, she makes me feel better and makes me want to be better. I am confident that this is mutual. We have never had an argument result in yelling or name calling, no thoughts of infidelity, and have a mutual trust in each other.
Really, after that long-winded story, I just need advice. I really only have 6 weeks before I move to make things right with her, and really have no idea what I’m doing. If you guys have any advice, thoughts of my chances, see anything I’m doing wrong (minus the fact that I kept contacting her, cause I’ll be the first to admit I dropped the ball on that one) etc, please be brutally honest and let me know. I just feel like this girl is special, and I really want to be with her. Thank you for your time guys, I really appreciate it.