NC support

[aphrodite]

I’m so blessed to have you two!!!

@atea1234 I was just about to make a post about how I feel like I’m going off the rails and can’t sleep, but reading your post calmed me down!

You are so right! He has no idea that I’m here having a bad night:) Knowing that helps. You also put things into perspective when you said that he only now initiated contact after 3.5 months! That made me feel a bit more relaxed. In my experience those sorts things do happen when we least expect them.

I’m gonna stick to the LOA it’s just difficult when thoughts pop into my head saying “yeah right as if”. I’ve got to have a bit more faith.

Very happy to hear you’re getting better from all the stress! I know some of the stress factors I have right now are temporary so hopefully if I focus on that it should help.

The thing is… If a guy misses you and wants to talk to you - he will. In your case he did! If he was over you and wanted you to move on he would not do this to you!!! Stick to it girl, it’s working!

You’re right, if I also manage to go the full time of NC I will be so proud of myself regardless of whether or not he reached out.

My biggest problem is that when I feel down I tend to give up on things and just go and distract myself from my responsibilities. This is really a challenge for me… If I am able to work through the bad days and still be productive I think that will give me a lot of confidence - so it’s my new mission. No more spending time moping around but getting things done!!!

Thank you for your response, it really helped me right now, and shifted my focus. I’m not gonna let this stop me from getting on with my life!!! I can be sad and mad but I won’t deactivate myself because of it anymore.

You two are both angels! Gonna do some LOA

[atea1234]

@aphrodite good for you!! i never used to believe in the law of attraction, but for some reason last week i just started to perk up a bit about everything. and I’ve been very hopeful. when I’m down, i do imagine us reconciling, but i have far fewer down days than i had at the beginning. you must keep in mind i have also already gone 30 days NC - the first two weeks of that for me were absolutely miserable! but once i got through them, i started to feel better. i only texted him once i felt i could have a conversation without bringing up the relationship. and believe me, after 3.5 months of him not initiating one conversation i had completely lost hope he ever would! thats why i was planning to message him at the end of march and i wasn’t ever expecting him to reach out until the end of april. i feel much better being on good terms with him and also much better that he knows I’m happy and ok. i think initially i was so desperate and needy that it really turned him off, pushed him further away, and made me feel even worse about myself. i still do not know if/when he will want to reconcile, but I’m now okay with this whole process. i am learning so much about myself, as are you! if it is meant to be and he does want to reconcile, i think the relationship could really benefit from this time apart. and if we don’t reconcile, each day i don’t talk to him i am moving on and moving forward and will be ok in my life either way. we will all find love again whether it be with our exes or with others! what you said is exactly right, it is definitely ok to be sad. i still cry many days, but it can’t stop you from living your life! stay true to yourself and work on the law of attraction. getting through these 90 days will be so difficult at times, but it will really show both you and your ex how strong and independent you are!! never give up! have hope and keep getting through the days, one at a time.

i agree that if a guy wants to talk, he will reach out. thats why i felt near panicked after him not initiating after 3.5 months. my spirits were uplifted a little when i texted him after the 30 days NC and he seemed genuinely excited to hear from me and it was the first time he made efforts to maintain the conversation. just because you don’t hear from him for a few weeks - even months - doesnt mean he won’t reach out eventually. he will! after a break up he is just taking the time to gather his thoughts. I’m happy my ex finally reached out but i think its a result of me not being sad and needy the last time we spoke and also maybe him starting to really consider the future. i don’t think he wants to lose contact as he might want to reconcile, so if i don’t reach out, he will have to! about 6 weeks ago he kept telling me he “slowly” wanted to talk and see each other to see where things go, but he never once reached out and i told him i couldn’t handle it at the time. when we spoke new years day i didn’t mention this but did tell him to feel free to message me when he wanted to talk, so i think he knows I’m getting emotionally stronger (which i am!). remember, i am a few months ahead of you in this process. and yes the best part of NC is him not knowing about your bad nights. every saturday night i stayed in crying and eating ice cream during the 30 days NC, for all he knows i was out clubbing or on dates! i also barely slept the first two weeks of NC, but that gets better with time too. you’re doing great

[aphrodite]

@atea1234

Oh the LOA has worked for me even with really trivial things! Like wanting nail polishes, and three days later someone gives me 5 nail polishes because they don’t want them anymore. I told my ex about it, and did an experiment to prove that it works. He was very surprised and has believed in it ever since, and he kept having a go at me for not using it more because I’m pretty good at manifesting things

Gosh I can imagine you lost hope after 3.5 months! Just comes to show things happen when we don’t expect it. I am so happy for you as it seems like you are in a genuinely good place, you have come very far, leaned a lot and developed yourself as an independent woman! Haha it made me smile hearing you were in on Saturdays eating ice cream:) I’m not the only one then;)

I couldn’t sleep tonight and I ended up reading some old emails from my ex where we were discussing our relationship. Apparently he thinks I’m arrogant!! That kind of explains a few things. I’ve never meant to be arrogant! I think he’s arrogant! Lol. He also complained a lot about that I wouldn’t listen to him, or believe him when he said something - I always had to try it out for myself first. It made me develop a very different picture of the relationship. I always felt very oppressed and like I was being a doormat - but in many ways it seems, reading this now, like he constantly had the feeling he wasn’t good enough for me, and that he admired me a lot. Right now I’m actually feeling sorry for him and wanting to email him, but he ended it and his behaviour did get worse after he had sent those emails. I’m seeing that he was probably very afraid of communicating with me, and I have no idea why. In so many emails he says stuff like “I don’t know if you’ll want me to say this/do this/ or if I should leave you be/don’t know if this will upset you or make you happy” etc. reading it back he seemed so afraid. I’m starting to see his perspectives more. Both of us weren’t communicating well.

All of a sudden I’m left with just love for him, and feeling sorry for him. Wanting to tell him all the things I appreciated so much. I can even feel the butterflies in my stomach, and I just want to see him and snuggle him.
Arrrgghhh but I can’t!!

Happy I can ramble here! Every day it’s like I’m eliciting so many different emotions!!! Wondering what the hell is next? Such a roller coaster, it’s so draining to feel this unstable!

How are you two today?

[belle]

Morning Aphrodite and Atea1234

I think reading through old mails and text is good. I too have done this Aphrodite and see how needy i was! Shameful!
It’s good to have time to reflect I how we have behaved and it’s good that you’ve seen maybe how you have behaved in the relationship which at the time you just don’t see. It’s progress, and if all else fails we can learn by our mistakes and move on without hoping to make the same mistakes again.

I’ve reflected back myself and these are the reasons what pushed him away…

1. Allowing an ex to contact me and not putting a stop to it.
2. Telling my ex to leave my house when we had an argument.
3. Going on date sites when he left! (Lol)

So, now he blames me for absolutely everything… A lot of it is totally uncalled for. Example, he has kids of his own, he moved to another city and that’s when he met me and therefore the kids got pushed aside becaus of me. Not that I did it, but he did it off his own back for a long time prioritise me over his children. Now, recently he told me that I never gave me my blessing to see his children! So I replied that I didn’t realise I had to repeat the Hail Mary and send him off to his kids! I also said that he’s over 21 and everything is your choice. Be a man and stop blaming everyone for your decisions!

I think he’s reflecting everything he did for me and now thinking he’s missed out on years with his children and of course I’m in the firing line!
I’m not stupid to tell anyone not to see their kids, or encourange them not too! I’ve enough intelligence that kind of mentality will come back and bite you on bum!

Aphrodite, it’s all a learning curve and it’s great that you’ve recognised your contribution towards the break up. That is a necessary thing to come out all of this. In time, you will get that chance to discuss everything with your man. We all will one day beagle to be rational enough to have that conversation.
So don’t worry too much about not telling him now.

Also so something else you said yesterday about being a personal acheivement completing 30 days NC. I can relate to that totally. The best I’ve done so far is 2 weeks, so this time I’m set for 30 days with ideally doing 90. 30 days will be great and a real cause for celebration as it’s a huge feat!
As For Atea1234, you have my every admiration for already completing the task! Well done and thank you for telling us how bad it was in the first few weeks.

Well tonight I’ve a date!!!
I’m not really excited, because it’s not my ex
It’s the old ex. I’m not sure really if I should be seeing him to be honest because he’s one of the reasons why I’m now apart from my ex. I shall refer him as D as gets too complicated lol.
As you know it too me years to get over this guy but now I don’t feel that much for him. We’ve known each other for years and I feel comfortable with hi and he’s safe. He’s got his own issues and I know we would never ever work out because we are not that compatible.
It’s just nice to go,out tonight, make an effort with hair and make up and have some attention thrown at me.
Do you think it’s good or bad seeing him?

Anyway, apologies for rambling again…

[atea1234]

i have also given a lot of thought to what i did wrong in my relationship. i think i demanded almost perfection from him and had such high standards that there was no way he could possibly live up to all of them. and every time he wouldn’t, he would know how much it disappointed me and he would beat himself up. I’ve come to realize through this, were all human! even if we do reconcile after this, there will be bumps in the road and things he does that i don’t love, but its ok. i need to learn to not sweat the small stuff and make things into a big deal. i also had a lot of trust issues with him. i constantly read through his text messages, Facebook etc. and tried to “catch” him i guess talking to other girls. now that i think about it, its an invasion of privacy! i need to be at a place where i feel confident and secure enough to not be checking up on him. i think all of this was sparked because i always knew deep down he would want this time off and i always was nervous about when it would happen. two different times while we were doing long distance at university, he said the same things to me. both “breaks” lasted about a month and we still spoke everyday, so i don’t think they really counted. he would always conclude he didn’t want to lose me, but i do think he’s always had this thought in the back of his mind that he would need this time and as a result, it made me insecure. I’m hoping that if we reconcile, he will come back because he did take enough time to explore and realized he wants to be with me so these other things will be a non-issue. i think if we both go back into the relationship with the real strong desire to be together, we would have a much more mature relationship. we started dating at 15 and i think some of our immature habits carried over with us as we grew up. we would need a fresh start with a more adult relationship!
@aphrodite, its such a roller coaster of emotions! thats why remaining nc is the best otherwise each hour you will have a new thought pop into your head to share with your ex! just keep reminding yourself that when you do complete the nc, you will have a chance to say whatever you want to him. if i remember correctly he did speak to you on new years day so you don’t have to worry about him not answering when you reach out. the time will come and you will be less emotional and ready to have this tough conversation.
@belle, its great to reflect on your shortcomings in the relationship as well and you too should remember you’ll get the chance to tell him eventually. don’t beat yourself up for anything. everyone makes mistakes in relationships - we all have, as well as our exes. one of the nice things about this time off is that if we do reconcile, we will have the chance to break our old habits and patterns and create something better. as for the date, i say go for it!! but never mention it to your ex!! while in the nc period its so important to do things that make ourselves happy. dressing up, looking good, and catching up with an old flame will definitely excite you for the night! when my ex and i first broke up i went on a date with a friend from high school that my ex absolutely hated because he always really liked me. i had a fun time catching up and it was a great distraction and confidence boost, but i never went again, as i didn’t want to complicate things, but you’ll have to do what feels best for you! i definitely don’t think it can hurt!

[atea1234]

also @aphrodite its great to hear LOA as worked for you in the past! i had never even heard of it until recently, but am starting to become a believer myself!

[belle]

Talking of LOA,
I’ve been watching some of Actualized tutorials on Youtube. It’s great watching and they are not too long, I watched one on making yourself attractive and it’s really hit home.
I’ve definitely been in what he calls a dysfunctional relationship where we trade off each other to make each other happy. It’s a relationship where you live in fear of upsetting that person.
Atea1234, you’ve expressed where you’ve mAde demands on your ex to make you happy. Again,this guy from Actualized calls that dysfunctional. We all 3 have come from dysfunctional relationships and unless we recognise this then our relationships will carry on so.
I know we are all looking into LOA and trying to practice it, but search Actulized and watch some of his stuff. It’s very inspirational and it will again not make you break NC!

[atea1234]

thanks for the suggestion, @belle! i will definitely look into those. i also think my relationship was a bit “dysfunctional”. thats why I’m viewing this break up as a positive now. if we get back together, i believe we will have learned from it and have a much healthier relationship going forward. keep us posted about the date tonight!!

[belle]

Hi Atea1234

Yes if anything that comes out of all of this is that we will have healthier relationships.

It was nice hooking up with D, however nice it was I kept thinking if should be my ex sitting opposite me. I thought how much better time I would have had, however it was nice to go out And D took my hand when we said goodbye and said he had a really nice time. He’s a very good looking guy and so to get the flattery has done me the world of good. I don’t feel anything towards him but still nice to get the attention and to go out.
I’m just so incredibly compatible with my ex that for him to walk away from that will be something I will never accept. I’m pretty sure in time he will reach out but if he leaves it too long like a year or so then I maybe resentful and move on. Anyway, shan’t jump to conclusions.

So, no more texts I take it?

Talk tomorrow as late here now and off to bed. Sleep tight Atea1234 x

[atea1234]

@belle, glad to hear you had a good time! it definitely is weird to go out with others and i found myself feeling the same way going on dates after my break up. you will hear from him eventually!! and if you haven’t, when enough time as passed and you feel ready, you will be able to say what you want to him.
no more texts from the ex and i honestly doubt i will get any for a really long time. today was one of the most down days I’ve had in the past month. i kept randomly crying throughout the day and was missing my ex and everything we used to do together terribly. i had to put my phone down and go for a walk outside so i didn’t break nc. i feel like in my case even if we do reconcile, i am so many months away from it and its so hard. on one hand, i certainly don’t want to try to reconcile too soon and definitely not until he’s ready, so i want to remain nc and jut let him reach out as he feels up to it, but on the other hand, i just miss him so much and want him back soon unfortunately theres nothing i can do. i often find myself wondering what he’s thinking…is he still thinking the same way he was when we broke up in september? i wish i could ask him how he’s feeling but i can’t. anyway hope you sleep well and glad you at last had a fun evening!

[aphrodite]

@Belle

Yeah it’s pretty embarrassing to read old texts and emails! I was quite cold at times and wasn’t communicating properly (explaining why I was cold/how I was feeling). I think at the time I felt very humiliated by him moving out after so many years and I didn’t want to humiliate myself further by telling him how upset I truly was. Instead I was just being cold, and not in the sort of nonchalant friendly way.

It’s good we can all learn from this! I may write down all the things I’ve learnt to make sure I don’t repeat the same mistakes again.

Oh dear, it was of course not for you to give him his blessing to see his kids! He is probably realising he’s been an absent father and due to not accepting fault he wants to place the blame on you. He’s clearly not taking responsibility. I hope time makes him realise this!!

You’re right, in time I can tell my ex all these things. I just feel impatient.

I think it’s a great thing you went to see your ex!!! We need any boosts we can get!

I just checked out Actualized. I actually watched one of his videos a few months ago! I’ve checked out a few more now and signed up to the email list:) Thanks!!! It’s great to share resources like this!
I watched the one on making yourself attractive and what hit home to me is that I am constantly seeking distraction from myself. In the relationship I think I used him as a distraction to not have to face my own dragons in life, and therefore became codependent. One of the things I miss the most is his attention. In our better years he would shower me with attention and I don’t know if I have ever felt so loved and noticed (writing that made me cry). Maybe I’ve got some sort of wound that he put a plaster on with his attention. I have a dysfunctional family where I often felt either invisible or like a nuisance that was never good enough, so that could be it… For a while, I was perfection in his eyes, and it was such a large contrast from what I was used to.

I’m sorry but I’ve gotta laugh!!! Would you ever have imagined, a few years back, that you would date this guy and wish he was someone else?? Comes to show we really can get over people and find greater happiness. So keep that in mind when you’re thinking about your current ex!

Your ex isn’t over you, don’t worry. When you’ve completed NC and done lots of self improvement I’m almost completely certain he won’t be able to resist your magnetism!

@atea1234

Happy to hear that you too have found ways in which you can improve in your next relationship (with him or someone else)! Yeah it’s likely you picked up on his thoughts about wanting to explore more before committing so I can see how that made you insecure. I was also very insecure with my ex - although I never expected him to break it off and tell me this is it forever.

It’s so true that the emotions are all over the place - and it’s a good thing I’m not expressing each and every emotion to him. I’m thinking about journaling again - but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea in case it will make me obsess more over things?
Although I definitely feel like I haven’t expressed and explored enough regarding this break up.
Yes… When I’ve done NC I can tell him all these things that have been going through my mind. I’ve just got to hang in there for now.

Oh by the way - I’ve noticed some patterns going on. It seems like every time we are in contact with our exes we get an initial ‘high’, then it turns into a drop when we realise they haven’t made another attempt to text or call yet. We feel sad, then it turns to anger, maybe more sadness - and then we start feeling better and more independent again. Do you agree?

What this really means is that our happiness and emotions are still completely tied up to our exes. So… We’ve still got more work to do!

I know you miss him lots and lots. Perhaps it’s not a bad idea to allow yourself to grieve a bit. (YouTube: Brad Yates “releasing emotional pain”, copy what he does, it’s great!)
(You too @Belle ) Atea I am sure he is thinking of you. After all he called you!! If it’s one thing I’m certain of it is that you should not worry whether or not he’s thinking about you!
I know reconciliation may be many months from now, and your relationship with him will not be the same - it will be a new one. So I don’t think it’s wrong to allow yourself to cry and grieve a bit. Just don’t break NC! If the pattern holds true you will start feeling better again soon enough! x

[atea1234]

@aphrodite, thanks for that post! i really do need to allow myself to grieve the relationship sometimes. i find myself putting on a happy face for my friends and family and telling them this is for the best and we BOTH need time away to explore before we decide if we wanna commit to each other. my family and friends all already feel a lot of resentment towards him because i was so crushed after the break up so i think by not talking about it to them I’m not worsening that situation. as for journaling, I’ve tried it, but for some reason i always find it to be rather lonely for some reason. i guess in a sense this thread is really my journal - i just prefer writing my thoughts to you two and hearing feedback! i keep telling myself the first 3.5 months have to be the worst and so if i got through these, i can definitely get through the next 3.5 and thats around the time I’m planning to contact to reassess i can do this!
as for him thinking of me, I’m sure he is, but i doubt he thinks of me as often as i think of him. he is on my mind almost 24/7. when we met up about 6 weeks ago he told me he can’t bring himself to throw about my toothbrush at his apartment and so he is reminded of me first thing every morning and before bed every night. i also think its a good sign that when we have seen each other, he still is very affectionate, hugs me and kisses me, and tells me he loves me. i know this is hard on him as well but it was his decision after all so he had time to prepare and i think he is still relieved in a sense because he wanted this time. he told me his emotions have bounced back and forth between sadness, happiness, relief, and regret. for me, its usually sadness still, although my mood is improving overall i think. i just can’t stop wondering what he’s thinking. about 6 weeks ago before initiating my first nc he said “i do want to recreate our relationship one day, but I’m not ready yet. i need more time.” i keep finding myself wondering if he still does want to get back together one day and if he is starting to feel more ready. i think me not contacting him much is coming as a shock to him - maybe why he reached out the other night. i am normally not one to cut contact - ever!! anyway, sorry for the ramble and i think you might be right about the pattern. i need to think of nc as one day at a time and not 3-4 months or i go crazy!

[atea1234]

i also find myself telling myself when I’m sad that this is only temporary and we’ll be back together eventually, as if its a guarantee. do either of you find this happening too? it scares me because its the only thing keeping me going and it might not even be true…
also i agree! it gives hope that @belle went on a date with her ex ex and wished he were someone else! even if my ex doesnt come back i can get through this and find love again

[aphrodite]

@Maria

Sorry, I forgot to respond to you!

It’s amazing that you made it to 90 days NC!! You ought to be very proud of yourself for that! I admire you!!

Those 90 days must have made you a lot stronger, as you decided not to reach out in the end. You would have learned a lot from this that will help you in the future! I can understand you don’t want to put yourself through the pain of being rejected by him again. In that way you’ve made a very strong decision to value yourself. And if you ever change your mind, you can always contact him, but preferably when you feel that a rejection would not phase you.

It’s gonna take a long time before we find someone that ‘measures up’ to our ex, but that time is shortened if we go out there in the word - so I’m happy to hear you’re dating!

Personally I am in no way, shape or form ready to date - but that has a lot to do with that I’m not happy about my life at the moment, but also that I know it will make me upset as I will compare the guys with my ex.
Right now I just have to work on improving myself, as my life has sort of become a big mess.

I agree, more people should post success stories! I promise to do that if I succeed in getting my ex back, though I don’t know if there is any chance of it.

Do you do LOA?

[aphrodite]

@atea1234

Just saw your posts, I didn’t get an email alert yet.

Oh I definitely think you should be open towards your family and friends about how you feel. If you decide to be with him later, you should not be phased by what your friends or family think about it. It is your life!!! You’re the one who has to decide what makes you happy.

Haha yeah this thread is kind of like a journal:)
Yeah my ex is on my mind 24/7 too. It’s exhausting. And like you, I don’t believe he thinks about me anywhere near as much!! I bet he could go a whole week without thinking of me. That’s one of the worst feelings I think, the injustice of that and knowing you’re pining for someone who doesn’t feel the same, someone who can just go about their day when you feel like your world has ended (my feelings anyway).
But no doubt does your ex think about you lots!!! Not being able to throw out your toothbrush!

I can’t stop wondering what my ex is thinking either. It’s almost driving me crazy. And I had this stupid feeling he would be contacting me this weekend!!

Yes he most likely contacted you because he hadn’t heard from you and it was making him wonder. Perhaps he got scared that you were moving on, and he wanted to check in to see if he’s still got you there (as his safety net). Sorry to put it that way, but it’s what I think.
Definitely take one day at a time!!! Don’t think too far ahead.

I definitely feel the same!! That’s the gut instinct I was talking about. At my core I just K N O W with the purest certainty that he will be back, despite reason. It’s when I question this feeling that I start to panic, and get extremely afraid and upset. I question whether the feeling is intuition or denial. This is also, like you, the only thing keeping me going. That’s why I think we should trust that feeling completely because it is there for a reason. We need those positive thoughts and feelings as a crutch, that’s why they’re there. Just have faith, focus on creating happiness without him, focus on you, be patient, and go with the flow of life.

In the beginning, after the break up, I would even imagine him there and talk to him aloud as if he was there (lol) because I missed him so much. I’d tell “him” everything I was thinking. Although it’s a bit crazy, I did find it to be helpful. I’d tell him how much I missed him, loved him, how angry I was at him and how unfair this all was. Works if you’ve got a good imagination

Anyone else going a bit crazy from missing the sex? It’s not like I could go and have a one night stand - the thought of someone else sickens me!!! It’s only him that could give me my fix. I’m finding that very frustrating!

[atea1234]

@aphrodite, at the beginning i would write him letters often telling him what was happening in my life and how i was feeling! the only danger to this was that when i was feeling overly emotional, i would send them to him!! so i stopped doing this. and i do miss the sex! as well as just the physical contact - kissing, cuddling, just sleeping in the same bed. i think i am starting to miss these things less simply because I’m getting used to not having them. when we met up 6 weeks ago and had about a 10 minute hug goodbye i remembered how great it felt just to hug him like that again. i feel good about this nc because i think in the beginning he was so comfortable - i basically begged him and took whatever i could get. i would text him repeatedly in a row until he answered, call him after drinking, and ask him to meet up. i had told him i was going nc in november and lasted only 3 days - how embarrassing is that when i think about it now!! i think the fact that I’ve stopped reaching out initially gave him some relief but I’m hoping soon its going to move into him wondering if i really am moving on. i also don’t want to be his safety net - something you are spot on about! thats how he’s viewed this whole process. basically he should take all the time he wants because ill be here when he’s ready and he knows he would be happy with me so thats a backup option. i think nc will really force him to think about what he’s giving up and give him time to reflect. i do always wonder how often he thinks of me too!
as for the gut feeling, i agree with you, its there for a reason. i have promised myself that if by may we aren’t talking about reconciling, i will actively fight myself against this feeling, but hopefully by then ill be much more prepared to handle that if thats what it comes down to. as for your ex not contacting you yet, it doesnt mean anything! so many things have happened over the past 3.5 months that i thought my ex would reach out to talk to me about and the first time he breaks down and texts me is over celebrity gossip?! its so hard to predict these things - if and when they will reach out. are you going for 30 days NC? if so, you are nearing the halfway point!!

[aphrodite]

@atea1234

See I didn’t do that - I didn’t plead and beg, I was more angry, cold and distant towards him. In that way there wasn’t so much of a big change from that to going NC - and I bet he was relieved to no longer have to deal with me being angry about how he hurt me! I’m hoping with time he will forget that and focus on the good times. Sometimes I wonder if I should have begged and pleaded - but I was just too upset with him at the time.

I miss the cuddling too, so much, and just having him around to flirt and play fight with. I miss these things a lot more in the times that I feel less angry towards him.

Yeah I definitely think your ex will worry about you moving on. He’s had his recent check up and confirmation that you’re still there for him, so it might be a while until he contacts you again. Maybe you should give him a little scare next time… ?
Funny he contacted you about celebrity gossip! Hah he really was just looking for an excuse to contact you! That definitely comes to show he thinks about you a lot.

I’m gonna have to fight my gut feeling too if nothing more has happened once the summer is over.

You made me smile! Yes, you’re right! Not too long and I’m halfway!! I hadn’t realised. At day 30 I’m gonna assess whether or not to continue. Most likely I will, but it all seems so long so I’m chunking it up!

@Belle been watching more Actualized - the guy is really good! I need to care less what people think of me, stop worrying about what others think of my decisions in life and just go with my instincts. Life is too short to be as stressed out as I am about stuff!

Ugh, I miss him so much:( I don’t feel happy in my life without him and that has to change!!

[aphrodite]

@Belle wow the one on how to stop being a victim was gooood! Hit home

[belle]

Morning ladies,

Lots to,catch up on and read but just a quickie for now, after last nights date I’m feeling desperate about ex. Missing him so bad! Can’t beleive he chucked it all away.
His words are just ringing in my ears about how I will ruin everything. I was angry at the time and I couldn’t just carry on as usual with him that’s why I said no all thoes times. He loved me so much! You’ve no idea how much that guy loved me. For thoes 6 weeks I rejected him I just had so much anger in me to even communicate.

Going out last night was great but it’s really brought it home how much I’m missing my ex!
I think he’s just now thinking about the past, how much he did for me and how I treated him badly at times and I think he’s thinking well rid!
I’d do anything to hear from him now

Aphrodite, I’m glad your liking Actulized!

Atea1234, think positively, he contacted you once he will do it again. We all want it all now but non of us are going to get what we want just yet. We want them back for us to feel good again. Don’t be upset too much, I promise you he will be in touch but it might not be for a few weeks. Xx

[belle]

Aphrodite, you’re right there is a pattern of emotions. So in all these emotions when we are in contact with ex’s we need to add another one and that’s going out on a date too early! Disaster!
My old ex really likes me which makes it worse! Lol. I’d never ever thought I would ever say that. It took years getting over that guy!

Yes I really miss being intimate with ex. Just everything I miss! Holding hands, cuddling, talking dog for a walk, going out to eat, his crazy humour, his body, just everything I miss on a mega scale.

I just can’t imagine meeting anyone that matches up to him and I think I will spend years on my own before even thinking about meeting someone else.
Meeting someone else takes so much effort! Countless hopeless dates, then you meet someone you like but they have weird traits or habits that put you off. Jeeze, I’m going to be single for ever now

I’d just like to have a crystal ball to see in the future. The mind is racing all the time and so much effort in thinking about if we will get back together I’d just like to cut all that bit out and look into the future. If someone could tell me that I’m not going to get back with ex I could just try move on. As it stands I’m working toward a goal of reconciliation. I just wish I knew what he was thinking! Only 10 days NC… Argggg…think the ice age moves quicker!