Okay long story short,the break up was really ugly and he ended up saying that he doesnt want me to text or he’ll block me etc. Anyway i started the NC but since my ex is in the army n where he was posted had a lot of stuff going on,their camp was attacked etc,so i dropped a text to check if he was alright,he didnt have any network there and when he finally got connected to wifi for few minutes after 15 days he replied back saying he was fine,and a lot was happening and that he wont get network. Anyhow i texted him after another 15 days saying that im really proud of what hes doing there,etc,and two days back he got network connection again,we started talking normally but he even complimented me on my dp n said i was looking pretty(which he never does) and when i didnt reply to a text he buzzed me again. Now the problem is i dont know how to go about this,things are better but i want him to text me first (since last two times ive texted) also there are a lot of terror attacks going on at the place hes posted n its hard to not text back and know that hes okay. Also im really confused if he has moved on etc (cause he had asked me to move on on our last fight) … Any advice would be great! Also @patricia thanks a lot for ur previous advices. I dont think i would have reached this level of stability had i not started the no contact!
Hi Smriti, Where is he? Sounds like he’s in great danger sometimes and I pray for his safety! Please try not to think about whether he’s moved on or not, but instead just sometimes send a happy text and check if he’s okay, but don’t overdo it. Don’t be concerned if he texts you first, that’s not important now and he’s probably VERY busy. Just be glad when he gets a chance to reply to your texts:) When he comes home in December, will he be near your town? If so and you see him again, show him a better version of yourself by not being clingy and acting desperate.
Or maybe im just misreading everything. Maybe hes just being nice to me and he has moved on. Cause from today he has access to network and it tears me to see him liking other girls pictures on instagram etc. also i think i excessively messaged him n he is back to thinking of me as clingy.anyway the conversation has ended with me saying im sorry for the things ive said before(in our ugly fight one month back)and now i dont know!Im really confused! Please help me!
Maybe he’s not overseas somewhere is the middle east and in great danger??? If you messaged excessively, yeah, he probably thinks you’re still very clingy! Yes, he’s being nice, but you’re not together anymore so he has the right to like other girls pictures. I’m glad you apologized, but if you keep doing the same thing over and over again, it means you haven’t changed for the better. You mentioned a level of stability, but I don’t see it? Please try to work on your neediness…
@patricia12 : everytime i read ur advice it really calms me down! Well the whole situation is really bad,in our country i mean,19 of his colleagues got killed. But now its getting a little better,cant really say. His leave in december has been cancelled. It seems unlikely that ill be seeing him this year which is also why he told me to move on previously. Meeting seems like a farway thought now. Anyway he said hes sorry too.and thats about it now. Im not texting further or stalking him like i used to and i really dont feel the need to,i want him but i dont need him.And yeah now i guess ill just message him after a couple of weeks right to check on how hes doing?
What country are you in? What country is he in? Sorry about his leave being cancelled and hope he will be okay. When is he expected to be home? You might be right about another reason for his breaking up with you (besides your clingy tendencies) is that he was worried about the length of time he would be gone and it might not be fair to you to wait for him. Whatever happens, I pray it will be the best for both of you:)
@patricia12 Yeah he did tell me that,that whats the point of being together if i cant see you. We are from the same country and hes told me exactly where he is but i dont think i should say all that here. Probably next year he’ll get leave but im not sure where i would be then,how things would be between us,maybe id have moved on,who knows? Its all a question mark and only time can tell. But yes whatever happens by the end of the year ill definietly update you. I have an exam on 7th december and until then i dont really want to think about all this. Maybe id drop a text by the end of the month but thats it. I have goals,and a deadline too which is more important than anyone. Deep inside i know it wont work out but its just the hope thats there,and i hope i can kill it someday. Thank you for all your replies and for always being stern with me,i really needed that! Hope you get what your looking for as well 
take care!
@patricia12 : okay just one update. We’ve been texting for a week,very less texts from my side,i make sure i dont over do it,whenever he gets network he replies. One of his friends started taking my case on facebook on some post and started flirting with me n i told him about it n he said hes an ass trying to get ur attention. So i said yes and that i miss having him around. And he said he misses having me too but he cant have the same crazy fight again. I reassured him that i wouldnt want to put us both into it and that times makes you realise things. After that he lost network,and called me up from some friends phone asking me what medicine should he take for his cold. He spoke for sometime but again we lost network. I heard his voice after one and a half months. Im just very anxious about screwing up again! I really want to be the best that there is…and i dont know how to go about this. Im scared,more scared than before. please help!