NC. Ex is cold and a bit angry

Before ive been following my ex’s whatsapp status and lately ive shut it down from her. Im doing LC because nc is a bit impossible because we’re workmates.

I know shes checking me on whatsapp because she she knows that checking her is the only reason why i go online. But after i did not return her call and she saw that i wasnt checking on her anymore, i texted her to ask regarding our work stats. Her response was a bit cold. She wasnt like this towards me when i was still checking on her and stuff.

Could it be that she’s mad thinking that i might not care for her anymore? Is this a possible case. Please help me with this one.

Yes definitely. She’s upset because she’s not getting the attention she wants. Don’t give it to her dude! Keep that LC going if it suits you best cuz it seems to be working. Just keep doing what you’re doing soon she’ll be desperate to know why this and why that. So goodluck dude!

I’ve kept up with your story. She was annoyed that you were continously checking up on her. She specifically stated you can relax.

It goes with the saying that a little jealousy is flattering, but too much is unattractive.

She isn’t cold because she thinks you don’t care because you aren’t watching her anymore. She’s probably somewhat relieved. She told you herself to relax with it. She knows you are still into her. your actions have proved it.

but keep up with not checking up on her. And make better situations and conversations when contacting her.

If the conversation isn’t striking her as interesting or it’s boring, she probably isn’t being cold. There’s just no room for a dynamic conversation. NC for a few days, and hit her up with something exciting. Even at work, act positive and talk to others about exciting plans.

LAbound:

She isnt annoyed that im checking up on her. Actually she’s amused. She finds it funny and cute that i get jealous over that guy for no reason and is telling me to relax because there’s nothing between them but still finds my jealousy funny anyway.

I know she checks whatsapp to see if im online because checking up on her is the only reason why i do so. And she knows that. I did not go online at all. But through another phone i saw that she had been online during the hours that she knows i’d be checking up on her. For her right that’s the only way she would know that i still care for her. And she did not see any online status from me.

Right after that i sent her a text asking about work-related stuff. She responded coldly all of a sudden.

Do you think she was acting that way because she might be thinking that im not into her anymore?

And i dont tell her directly that im jealous. I dont get mad or even throw a bit of a fit. She knows that whenever i see them both online im already jealous. She actually teases me whenever we meet about that stuff. Im not the one bringing up the topic, she is. Just to tease me. And i dont know why she always finds it funny. Shouldn’t she be annoyed and tell me to stop and move on?

Or is it possible that she’s scared to tell me stop and move on because i might really do it?

From what you’ve written in a previous post, it didn’t come off that way.

I think you should continue not checking up on her. Make her wonder. Again, talk about exciting things going on in your life at work to friends. Be cordial to her if you see her but don’t linger. You’ve done the chasing by letting her know you’re seeing what she’s doing. Let her chase you and reward her when she does.

Update: she asked me today if i wasnt checking on her whatsapp. I said no. She asked me if im moving on. I said yes.

Then she admitted that she has this attraction with her doctor… But told me that it’s purely physical attraction and promised that she does not love him.

She even swore on her father’s grave that she does not love me anymore because when we were still together her feelings towards me already drifted apart… And that til now she feels a bit of stress towards me.

She even told me that i hope i would find the right on for me in the future. Should i give up now? It’s only been 3 weeks since we broke up.

Is this the time to give up on her? Any advices would surely help. Thankyou.

I feel like she’s playing games. Why ask if you’ve moved on? Why tell you about the other guy and then promise you that it’s not love?

Kind of just seems like she wants to push your buttons but not so much you’ll really say fuck it.

And she may not love you the same, but there’s still emotions there.

Too late. I already said in my mind fuck it. She ruined my trust. We’ve been together for 7 years and just after 3 weeks she’s telling me that they both have physical attraction towards each other? Since when?

What stings also is that i was telling her a while ago with compassion that im letting her go and i want her to be happy.

You know what she told me?
“Really? Well you can admit that youre going crazy right now, go crazy, move on then be happy hahahaha”

@LAbound: please guide me through. Seems like you know a lot.

And by pushing my buttons? How?

Would NC still be effective if she told me she does not love me anymore, is telling me to move on and find the right person?

And now this, their physical attraction poop.

I agree with @labound

@LAbound:

I’m feeling really hopeless about my chances of getting her back. Just now, she admitted that a guy she has attraction to right now admitted his feelings 4 months ago. We broke up 18 days ago.

At first when the guy admitted she did not entertain but told me the attraction was too strong. Then when we got into a lot of fights she told me that those things made her lose my love for me then diverted it to him. My ex is a nurse, he is a doctor. She’s 27, he’s 38.

She told me that she does not love me anymore but wants to be with him, because according to her eventhough they had a lot of fights at work. He still liked her for who she was and told her that he understands why she acts angry around him sometimes. But see there’s one problem. We work in Saudi Arabia. And having relationships like that is strictly a no-no. So she cant be with him because they are not married, they cant show affection in public or things like that.

But i felt envious of what she is feeling for this guy right now, so I gave in. I told her that eventhough I want to be patient in waiting for her and love her discreetly. I still wont stop her if she wants him because it’s what makes her happy.

She also told me that love is not there YET. That maybe it’s just physical attraction. But also told me that even if she may not love him, it does not mean that she’ll be coming back to me. She said no because she’s done with all the fighthing with me.

The last things i told her were from my heart. I just want to be honest because im hurting so much right now. I said that I would wait patiently no matter what. That I would be patient in loving her, even if it means making her happy by her being with someone else.

Am i done for? Honestly. Right now. I’m hoping that i don’t wake up in the morning. My life feels so senseless because now i feel hopeless.

I’m really depressed now… I don’t want to live anymore… It’s like there really is no hope between us anymore… 7 years… i loved her that long…

This is why you need to do NC you’re not helping yourself contracting her, you’re hurting yourself

Point one:

She can’t break trust if you two aren’t together. That’s assuming you’re speaking of her attractiont to this other guy. You can’t let that cause animosity toward her or a possible future. Trust me, I felt betrayed when my ex slept with her rebound. After I was able to step back, I understood that we weren’t together, and if I want a happy future with her…I can’t hold it against her. Our exes go through pain too. They want human connection like we do. They just don’t see it with us right now, so they try to find it with someone else. It would show a lot of maturity if you try to understand that.

Point two:

You should make it known to her that you know her better than this other guy ever could. 7yrs is a long time to create a strong bond. Talk about things that let her know you know her. For example, if she’s into theater, sports, art, music… just work it in a conversation. Just let her know you understand her needs and wants and interests. tell her you want a future with no bad arguments, with nothing but love and caring.

Idk. I feel like she has feelings for you. And a lot of our exes have the same thing going on. They’re trying to fill the void with someone else.

I’ll respond more later. my family has an emergency.

@LAbound:

How were you able to tell that she still has feelings for me. When lately she just has been telling me to move on. And that her attention now is with this guy. That her mind was refreshed because of him. She even told me that he accepted her for who she is. And i think thats the number one reason why she was able to divert her attention to him.

@LAbound:

She has really been persistent in asking me to move on… Probably because she does not need my attention anymore because of him…