Hi, I was recently broken up with after a 3years. We were friends first for awhile before even deciding to date. We are both 30 years old, during the relationship it started off great then it went to ok/bad, and back to good till he decided he no longer was in love with me.
Here's where it all went wrong..Before this relationship I was always in emotionally abusive relationships. I've been lied, cheated on, and verbally abused. So when I started dating this wonderful man I was so damaged from my past that I was said things that would make him think that i thought he would do the same to me. Which he had said a couple of times that he was tired of having to pay for another guys mistakes. Also, if i were having a bad day or just irritated in general I would take out my frustrations and anger out on him.
Long story short, one day we finally talked about the things that would bother each other and from then on I turned myself around and everything was going very good. He even said he felt better and less stressed but then out of nowhere he ended it saying he wasn't in love anymore. That all the little things that I did during our relationship slowly made him stop.
I asked for another chance but was given an automatic NO that he knew it wouldn't work and that he gave it an honest try. I asked if he wanted me to give him space and that later we would see how things were going and start fresh. He repeated the question as if he was considering it but still said no.
I feel that this is something that can be worked on especially if he saw already how much different I was now. I'm staying strong and keeping any contact away but i can't help to feel confused. Should I keep hope? Is it something that is irreversible?
HELP!! I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin. I’m full of anxiety and desperation that the only thing i want to do is confront him but I don’t because I know it’ll only be worse. It’s been a week since the split up and I need all the help I can get to surpass this.
Thank you all!
Want an answer to the desperation? Dont. Just dont. Instinct fuck up everything you have planned. Trust me I know. But believe me you have a good chance. Irreversable? Nope i dont think so. He said lost love. Just make him find it again. Reattract. Anyway. Are you doing anything to occupy yourself and improve cause you have to show him you got better after nc. Not the same person.
Nightdeleon,
I’ve started to take my friends up on offers when they go out to do things even if i don’t want to. At the same time im trying to distance myself from some friends because all they do is complain about everything and i feel like that brings me down even more. I’m constantly thinking the worst, i wonder if he’s interested in someone from work. I have a gut feeling but I don’t know if it’s just my crazy self. Even if he was interested in this particular person who’s to say she will be interested but the thought crosses my mind.
Dont assume. Its unsightly for a guy to see that. Be confident. And stop being with negative friends. If you cant avoid them, avoid the topic and say lets just not talk about it. And clear your mind. I think you need to calm down a bit because that way of thinking will get you to panic mode faster than a blink of an eye.
I know what you mean about getting full of panic which was what i did when I saw he became friends with this person online. It got me thinking why now? why not before when he were together, why all of a sudden. All these thoughts made me furious just to imagine the thought. After i calmed myself down I felt better but I still have the thought in back of my head. 
I think time of from social media is good. Dont stalk him too much. I thinks its causing you more bad than good. And dont ASSUME. A very bad sign. We make up stories in our heads about this and that. What if this was a friend that he just met. What ever the case is you have the advantage.
Thank you, I have it bad when it comes to assumptions. Especially when I know he’s known for since before summer and he’s talked about her. I knows she has a cheerful personality and that’s what he likes. I’m not cheerful 100% of my day. I’m sorry for all this I just have no where else to vent. I sent that letter but haven’t heard back and I don’t think I will to be honest.
Don’t worry the letter isn’t really magic. It’s just there to invoke emotions. Now just let it stir up for a while. Now with assuming. You know exactly what to change then. You make her of as if she’s a catch for him. Don’t. Show him what he lost, not what he gained. Be confident 
show him who is the better choice. Show him where the grass is greener.
Thank you for hearing me out. I’m sure you have your share of problems too.
You have no idea how deep sht im in LOL but helping other people that’s my priority now. Changing for the better.
I’m glad your doing something that makes you feel better. I know we are all going through some things but lately I’m just dealing with it hour by hour. Just trying to get by the day even though some times it seems impossible. You can talk to me anytime idk if I’ll be much help
Maybe i will my ex thinks im the most evil person alive. She wants to stay “friends”. She says there is someone in her life but not in a relationship. We broke up because i didnt put effort in our relationship. It became final afterwards i said some mean stuff to her after sleepless days and no eating. I liked her alot and its been a month since. People told me she had no other person. But there was this one person who was close to her saying. “That girl loves you so much she said to her mom i want to marry this guy and live with him” i was surprise to hear this. Because she was ignoring me and i avoided her. I verified that the guy is real. No offense to him “he looks pale in coparison to me.” . I lost a alot of weight and started a healthy lifestyle. The person that said she still loves me says “shes testing your limit”. Okay that’s news to me. It feels so true but it hurts me. Anyway i started nc and gave her a letter. Hopefully she’ll comeback.
Nightdeleon, I’m sorry to hear that and sorry to get back to you so late. I just saw your reply. Have you heard back from her since you gave the letter to her?
Nope not a peep. Not a squeak. Not a single word. Im not giving up but shes not giving in. Well its not even worth fighting anymore. The most reasonable thing to do now is make her regret every single moment she left me. 
kind of bland if you ask me. She left for menial reasons. I like her because she had a good heart not good looks. Buuuuuuuut she still had the guts to do that. Man that feels so bad to me. And gross at the same time. Ewwww. I may have already gotten over her but i dont realize that yet.
Its a shame that you try your best but still get nothing in return. It sounds like your coming to terms with it and are looking at the bright side of things. I’m sure she’ll regret it especially when you are no longer there.
Its a real damn shame. Proving to her I’m worth everything she said I wasn’t was the biggest waste of time in my life. It was as if I was only there to prove myself “too bad for you, our choices have bad sides too” I was really nice to her. I never hit her physically. I never yelled at her. We had arguements but that never made me love her less. Our arguements were mostly “why’d you text that guy?” Well eventually it came true. A real shame that karma’s gonna be a bitch to her. Lol. Just a joke tho but if she deserves it make it full force. :)well i have come to terms with it. I think of it most of the time but weird thing is it doesnt hurt as much anymore.
I want to thank you too peachy. It somehow distracted you from your problem. Even for a little bit. I haven’t exactly talked to anybody about my problem anymore. It feels like everyone in her life is against me. I feel like I’m at odds here.
No problem I’m here to lend an ear. I know how hard it is going through this and not having anyone to talk to. I myself am having a really bad night. I feel so mad and hurt that I don’t know what to do. I just want to cry until I can’t anymore. I found out he’s at a work party right now and it’s usually a big to do. Black tie and everything. I had been asking him since a little before Dec when they were going to have the party but he kept saying he didn’t know. I feel betrayed and it makes me think he’s with someone else. My friends tell me to move on and to stop holding onto something that’s not there anymore. I’m so dumb that I refuse to accept that. I’m a mess right now and full of anger.
I feel betrayed too. I know the feeling all too well. 1 week then poof. Gone from my life. Well wow. Anger for now is your friend. Bitterness? Totally justifiable. Man if I knew she was like this I wouldn’t have trusted her so much.