I’ll try to keep it as short as possible.
We dated for 6 years, the last year, after graduating med school, we moved in together. We were already planning our future, shopping for rings, etc etc.
During this period I got into a period of major depression due to problems in my family and she started a PhD which caused her an absurd amount of stress which she refused to attribute to her work.
These things combined was too much for her and one day she plainly stated she’s moving out, 2 weeks later she had left and a week after that she casually mentioned she went on a date, because she doesn’t see us having a future.
We tried staying friends, but she saw how much I was hurting and I didn’t really show my best side during this period, so she asked for 6 months of no contact. Now, at this point I didn’t know what NC really was and what periods are normal, but I was a broken shell of a man and agreed, thinking if there is even a slim chance, it’s better than nothing.
Now, 10 weeks after breaking up and 6 weeks of NC, what a change. I’ve lost 30 pounds, planning to lose 50 more, reconnected with friends, dropped bad habits, got out of my depression, started working out, making improvements at work and people are saying I am more positive and energetic than they’ve ever seen me. I even got a date coming up this week.
But the fact remains, I want her back. I don’t feel as if my life will collapse if I’m not with her, like before. But I truly love her and know my life would be better with her in it and I truly did make her happy before all went to shit. I didn’t behave like the man she deserved, hell the last months I didn’t behave like a man at all.
Now after reading about it more, I find 6 months to be too long. The odds of her not just having a rebound but actually falling for someone are too great to ignore. I’m willing to wait 3-4 months max to get into even better shape, but not more than that.
Would it better to still wait out the whole 6 months at that point, or is there a way to break NC without it blowing up in my face?