I’ve been with my ex for 8 1/2 years and we just recently broke up. We lived with eachother the whole time and still do now. Our relationship, like others, had its up and downs. We took care of eachother. There is still live there on both parts but my ex wants to date and I want to stay together. I started dating my ex when they were 19 yrs old and never really dated outside talking thru social networks. I on the other hand, dated a few times. When we broke up, nothing really changed except for calling it a relationship. We still slept in the same bed, have sex occasionally and always say I love you. Just this week my ex decided it was best to sleep in different beds and call it off for good using the excuse that they wanted to date. Of course, I did not wanna accept it and it became a messy situation. Going thru their phone and facebook account I found a conversation with another guy that basically slammed me saying that I can’t compare to him in the looks department and basically throwing themselves at this guy and has multiple social networking dating accounts. There has been mean things said on my exes part saying they didn’t care and that they would bring guyz to our house and didn’t care how I felt. I was in my feelings of course being devastated and stressed my ex out and always arguing and pleading to be with them. Now we still live together in the same house just different rooms and we still have to interact with eachother. The words I love you was said on my exes part two times. How should I go about winning my ex back knowing there is still love there
ok first of all look for an article that says how to act when you live together for no contact. second of all the next thing thats gonna happen is your ex is gonna move out. it happen to me with my husband of 12years. we were together 6 and married 6. so my advise to you would be to move out before she does. and start no contact asap. start working on yourself and if possible find put why your relationship is falling apart ect. my husband didnt even want to try counseling when I was trying to look for one. you should read my story and maybe in one way or another it can lead you. I hope everything works out for you. good luck and keep us posted.
It’s not my apt I live with my ex we moved from NY to Florida together we both have no family out here all we have is us right now as I’m writing this we’re watching tv together it’s crazy I know but how do I deal? Lol
I’m so confused one minute my ex hates me and the next there’s love???
wow lol I wish I would have found this sit when I was having issues. lol this is crazy, lol… but cant ya talk about the issues your having and try to work it out?
cant you find an apartment? but if you guys are like that how are you guys watching tv together? lol if anything go to your room lol. I wish I could talk since into your gf. lol btw I live in fl and my hubby is originally from ny, lol so this made me laugh. 
would you mind reading my post? thanks
My ex and I lived together after the breakup for almost two months. We too slept in our bed and did everything as normal, but him wanting to go out and party all night and do things that he couldn’t have when we were dating strained us and led to worse fights. Not claiming to know what is best or anything, but literally as soon as he moved out things got way better between us. I miss him and miss sharing our apartment all the time, but he initiates contact, wants to hang out and spend time together, texts me he misses me, etc. So, in my personal experience, moving out and gaining a bit of distance is way healthier than sitting in the same apartment together and possibly ruining things even further between each other, if that makes sense?
I so agree the crazy thing about it is everytime we talk about it conversation goes south and we have no choice but to live together because of our financial situation and the craziest part of it is that my room is the only one with the cable box because my ex is a gamer and prefers to sleep in the living room with the Xbox one so when it comes time to watch tv we both have to watch together. I am so confused because at the same time my ex wants me to cater to her because I’m the one who cooks cleans and works full time I guess we depend on each other but my issue is if your so adamant about dating why are you still asking me to do things for you and confuse the crap out of me it’s like she’s bipolar like I said before one minute she tells me she loves me then next minute she could barely tolerate me and doesn’t want me to touch like wtf is that lol I’m so confused I tried to leave but she doesn’t want me to leave then says I don’t care and then says I just want you to be ok like make up your mind. Now I’m getting its over but yet you find yA way into my room to lay in my bed with me watch tv and then wants to sleep in the next room now is that not mixed signals or what Cuz I’m lost and confused to the point of insanity lol
Not only that but I get I’m not in love with you but I love you. I don’t want to get back with you but yet you stay texting me at work R u ok and did you eat??? Lol sometimes I just feel like screaming at the top of my lungs because it’s aggravating. She told me she met up with someone last Friday and then says she didn’t but if we argue and I try to be cordial I’m bipolar lmao this is a crazy mess and because of this confusion I have begged pleaded cried got on my knees and tried to get her back I just don’t know anymore lol it’s frustrating because i feel like she knows I love her and don’t wanna be without her but at the same time she’s playing this game of I know you love and can’t be without me and I have the power to decide whether you could have me or not does that make any sense lol
omg you’ve made me laugh so much with your stories. lol thanks 
anyways this seems to suck really bad for you. I think she needs to go and get herself checked out for real to see if she does have bipolar or something because it seems like she has a lot of “bouncing around”. is there anyway she’ll go to the dr.? anyways for now you should follow no contact for when you live together. I think you should start doing stuff without her ect. and stop doing stuff for her if your the one who cooks cleans and works. she’ll hopefully start to see you aint her door mat anymore. hopefully realizing that you arent “needy” anymore. also you should try to find things to do away from her and maybe give her a set time to watch tv or something. also have you started treating her differently? when you say that she says “Not only that but I get I’m not in love with you but I love you. I don’t want to get back with you but yet you stay texting me at work R u ok and did you eat”? maybe doing things you use to do in the beginning of the relationship may help. or maybe you should read the book the love dare. it gives you a 40 journey back to treating her better as challenging yourself at the same time. you can do either or and see if it works. either way you need to come up with a plan. check out the love dare and see if you think it would work for you and if not go with no contact. I do think you have a chance. just be cool and calm. and stop doing things for her as she still cares about you. keep us posted.
I’m going to try that I know she cares for me. I know when she says things like Im not in love with you but have love for you and trying to make me jealous is just her way of dealing with her pain. I’m going to try a combination of both focus on me for now because I always put her first and never really think of myself. Yes you are right about being a door mat I’ve done everything for her except wipe her ass lol and being we have different schedules it should make things as far as no contact a little easier I work from 330-12am and she works 930-630. I most definitely will. I’m so glad I came to this site and talk with people who are going thru what I’m going thru. This is good therapy for everyone involved and I’m so grateful for everyone’s input, advice and support. I really do appreciate it.
As far as treating her different after we broke up the first time I was being more affectionate and sweet because We use to argue a lot it was going good then I had a heart attack which she was by my side crying not to leave her and to take care of myself better. I was very stressed at that time I had just graduated from school and jobs were not lined up as a matter of fact it took me a good 6 months to get a job in my field of study and up until 3 weeks ago things were good and then we would argue because she was always on the game for 3 weeks straight everyday for 8-9 hours I felt ignored I wanted her time then we go away for the weekend a week ago we come back and everything changed lol but it’s been like that for awhile but like I said before I’m going to do the no contact rule and try love dare and I’ll keep you posted everyday thank you so much!!! How are you feeling today
Hahaha I had a few good laughs here! Your ex sounds like she is just very very confused. I think everyone on this site recommends no contact but it seems as though you are handling the situation quite well so I would say that maybe no contact isnt the best choice. I think you need to show her that you still care and wants to be with her (without actually saying it) while still keeping some distance/giving her space. I think that sometimes when your partner is confused, they need to be sure that their significant other isnt confused. Hope this made sense Maybe I am also completely wrong and No Contact is the best, but since you live together I think you’ll make her even more confused by suddenly ignoring her completely.
I agree with Cassie dude, she just needs space, dont go Nc for now… Maybe moving out if things gets messed up again, but if you really want her back try to handle the situation lightly, be nice and cold at the same time? Dont talk about feelings, just be cool. You guys are really funny tho haha. Just give it a time, those stuff fade with time and let us know how it goes
Just today as I’m taking things out the closet to organize I found this huge Valentine’s Day card that she gave me three years ago and she knocks it on the floor and says I should just throw it away of course I get upset but I didn’t say anything to let her know that I was she knew she hit a nerve and started laughing and I had mention that I was going to the movies bext weekend to see anabelle which I’ve been dying to see and she says that sounds like a good date night movies maybe she’ll go on a date to the movies all the while laughing so I politely told her if she didn’t need anything else from my room she could kindly leave as I was busy trying to clean and she left and laughed now she’s looking all serious like wtf lol
Haha Idk you guys are broken upbut you handle things so easily, idk how you do that haha.
But ok, go on your date, you did a good job. She is serious cause she didnt expect you to tell her to leave. Just keep doing it and share
It’s not easy sometimes at night I just wanna go and caress her face or just touch her and be next to her and she’s not having it at all she is convinced that she doesn’t want me at times I feel like it’s all for nothing but I know that’s just part of the process and I’m trying to keep my composure but deep down when I lock my door to go to bed I just cry and when I wake up and see her up she just lays there and stares off into space like we both in the same place but she so stubborn
I know how it is to deal with stubborn people, my ex is very stubborn, but they just need space, trust me
Is it normal for them to be mean and say very hurtful and spiteful things I mean damn you know I lost my grandma this past week and I’m trying to deal with that and this…and she was there with me one night and after that it’s back to being cold sorry for my rant I’m just hurting and confused
Its ok to be like that, those stuff mess up with our heads… But you are gonna get better. and I am really sorry for your grandmother.Just keep it as simple as you can. And try acting like she does.