Hi there, EBP Forums. I’d like to share my story, partially because I want to know if there’s any hope left, and partially because I feel that my situation may be able to help others in their own journey.
My relationship was long distance with quite a large distance between us. I live in the United States, and she lives in Germany. We met in August and had somewhat of an instant connection, and we got together around the end of the month. We did the best we could with what time we had. On days in which I had class, we only had two hours together. When I wasn’t in class, we’d spend all the time we could together.
Things were going great until around November. In early November, she suddenly stops talking to me. By late November, her social media had all been deleted. I sent her emails over the next few weeks, as I was extremely worried about her. By late December, she returned. She had told me that she deleted her social media because she was using it way too much and it was taking over her life, and that during her time away from me she had began to lose feelings for me as well as hope for our relationship.
I took it hard, as I still felt and still do feel deeply for her. Over Christmas of 2018, she grew close to an acquaintance of mine who lives in Austria. We all played video games together, but it began to feel as if they were third wheeling me. After Christmas I discovered this website, and began No Contact.
I did it rather suddenly, which caused her to send me friend requests like crazy. The moment I deleted one, another came. I felt guilty, so I messaged her and let her know I needed some time and space. No Contact helped me significantly. I felt like I was getting control of my life back, I stopped worrying so much. I was confident. Halfway through No Contact, she even sent me an e-mail telling me she missed me, and while she saw no future for us as a couple, she wanted to be friends.
Now comes the trouble. During No Contact, my ex’s crush (my acquaintance) began to get a crush on me as well. I somewhat crushed on her, and we flirted a bit, but agreed that we weren’t going to begin a relationship. My ex found out that her crush had another in her eyes, and exploded at her. Foolishly, I broke No Contact to try and help my ex. I told her that if this sort of friction is going to be happening, she shouldn’t be getting into a relationship like this. I said the same to her crush. My ex then accused me of manipulating the situation in order to keep them apart, but I was only trying to keep them both calm and give them advice. Her crush said to me that I had no hand in her decision to not get with my ex, but my ex still believes I destroyed their potential relationship out of jealousy or payback.
Is there anything I can do to salvage this? I feel as if I blew any chance I had over a miscommunication.