Cantsum, It could be any number of things that pushed your ex to the breakup point. No it wasn’t all because of the embarrassing moment so don’t be so hard on yourself. There were definitely other factors but what those were, I couldn’t say because I don’t know her. Think back to your relationship. Somewhere along the line, there had to have been some other things that were making her unhappy with your relationship. It was those particular things that caused the relationship to unravel into what it is today.
She hasn’t been in contact and it’s now day 12. According to Kevin’s guide and someone else I’m getting some help from, she will start missing me in a few days.
I had a break down last night and was unable to sleep for some time.
I keep thinking “She’s never going to contact me again”.
The break up wasn’t all that bad, we ended it on a decent note and I haven’t bothered her, pleaded or begged her at all.
I still feel as if she has completely forgotten me … I constantly search up on Google “Does my ex still think about me”. I’m happy when I read “There’s no way your ex has forgotten you or doesn’t love you any more, so long as you had a meaningful and long term relationship”.
Your thoughts?
hey man i had a VERY similar situation. I don’t think mine was depressed but she has extreme mood swings and everything seemed great right before the breakup. we had sex the night before, she texts me lovey dove thing 3 hours before then were done. No signs leading up to it. Ive been NC for a month now and heard nothing from her. So i think you have a good shot here, but i think its gonna take a while! id prepare yourself for the long haul… if you’re relationship is great like i think mine was then one day shell be back! the waiting game is the hardest part… but finally like you i feel good again all the time 
just be careful… a few days in NC i felt great too but it didn’t alays last ya know? so be prepared to maybe not feel so good again in the coming days… don’t wanna sound mean but i just wanna prepare you so it doesn’t hit you as hard
I think the amount she misses you is dependent on a number of factors like: How long were you guys together? What was your relationship like? How often did you guys communicate? Did you text/email often?
You did great after the breakup-not bothering her. She has to live down this embarrasing event and she hasn’t yet.I think that’s why she resists contacting you-even if she does miss you.
A few things are certain, no she hasn’t forgotten you. And yes, you guys will very likely talk again. With time, she will reach out.
@Dragongirl … I’m 200% certain the embarrassing moment had nothing to do with the break up. It is what I said to her after it and her thoughts of breaking up all blowing up at that point that caused the break up - possibly a loss of attraction too, but having sex just before that makes me question that last bit.
The embarrassing thing only affected me, not her. It was nothing against her at all in fact. I was seriously embarrassed about it. She told me she wouldn’t tell anyone, and I’m sure she hasn’t.
We had a strong relationship with as many ups and downs as any other. I think the relationship I had with my GF was reflected by the relationship I had with her immediate family … really good.
Her parents really liked me, her sister (although she’s very timid/shy) seemed to like me too and her grandparents couldn’t stop talking about me.
We communicated as often as we could. Some times we wouldn’t text the whole day, but that’s primarily due to the fact that my ex was so busy, and still is.
We used text primarily, but there were times we had long phone calls - sometimes lasting over an hour.
Our conversations barely ever ran dry; we always had something to say.
We were together for a year and we were both planning 2 trips we were going to take together: one with just us two, and the other with the rest of her family.
I don’t know why she might be “resisting” contact, but I know her well enough.
When I invited her on a date when we first started dating, she told me “I’ve already planned something with my friends”. I thought she lost interest, but in fact she told her close friend this and her friend had to text me to ask when I was free.
My point is, she’s not good with texting, etc … in fact neither am I.
I think a nice handwritten letter will show her how genuine I am, and I think will mark her well.
I obviously won’t talk about getting back together or anything of the sort, but I think she’ll just see I’m genuine and will reply in some shape or form.
Thanks for your help so far!
@Dragongirl … I also hope we talk again. My door is very wide open for communication.
Even though the relationship is in the past now, I like to think back to the “better” times we had. Minus the honeymoon stage, I always knew she really liked me, and I barely had any doubts. I also see when things started to change, but I feel as if that was just us becoming more comfortable(?)
She wouldn’t, and couldn’t, stop touching me at times. Sober or not, she was almost always either leaning her head on my shoulder or grabbing my arm. Even after the last time we had sex (moments before the break up), I could see love in her eyes. We were cuddling and still playing like two loved-up idiots.
This is why it was such a shock to me, this is why when she said “It’s been coming on for a while now, I’ve been thinking of it for months” really confused me. She probably had thoughts about it when we argued, but it couldn’t’ve been all the time(?!)
I’m still very emotional, as you may see, so if she does contact soon I don’t think it’d be wise if I answered!
@Phonis … I’m glad someone is in the same boat as me, and is sharing similar circumstances.
Yes indeed, NC is a very up and down process. Some days I’ll feel strong, confident and at ease, others I’ll feel horrible and will over think everything!
My GF suffers from severe anxiety, she’s taking these beta blockers (http://www.anxieties.com/159/beta-blockers#.VTFIWdzxtfc) to help her get it under control.
She also works far too much, my mum agrees, from 7 am to at least 8 or 9 pm every day including weekends.
I unfriended her from FaceBook immediately after the break up and deleted her details. I noticed that she removed some pictures of me and some pictures that might remind her of me … but that was to be expected, and was probably out of revenge. She HASN’T blocked me which is strange because my 2 previous exes did.
We shall wait and see if she contacts me first.
similar kinda haha… mine is going through GIGS (grass is greener syndrome). we broke up 2 months ago and she already had a rebound relationship in which the guy just stopped talking to her… i think now she might begin to realize cause even her best friends told her that i was good to her… altho her mom and roommates who are crazy are telling her the opposite. but the circumstances leading up to it are very similar! did ur other 2 exes ever contact you after you NC them? Also i wanna assure you it does get a lot easier haha. I know everybody says that… took me roughly 2 months and just now I’m starting to feel good on a regular basis! hopefully you start to feel good everyday soon
@Phonis … my ex isn’t dating anyone, although it has only been 12 days since the break. She’s probably buried up to her forehead with her maths work. She’s currently in her last year at University and has 8 exams in the next 2 months - she studies Maths.
My first ex of 3 years took roughly 2-3 weeks to contact me. She got into a rebound soon after we broke up and I was away travelling. Travelling helped me get over her completely, and besides her parents hated me, and my parents didn’t like her one bit.
My second ex, if I can even call her that, didn’t contact me at all and was actually ignoring me completely. The “relationship” lasted 1 month (!!) lol …
In terms of my ex this time, all her friends really like me, her parents really like me and there’s no one I can think of that would tell her I don’t deserve her, or that my ex deserves someone better. Her ex was a prick, and consequently she ended up cutting herself on many occasions.
One of her closest friends even told me “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her happier with anyone, friends included” … says a lot.
I just don’t get why she wouldn’t even think about contacting me to call us friends or whatever?
yeah I’m confused as well. Her parents really liked me, her friends really liked me but her roommates are crazy and did not. They convinced her i was “verbally abusive” when i was NEVER that and she told her mom that and now her mom doesn’t like me lol. But her best friends have told her she’s full of it pretty much so i have that going for me. And our relationship was excellent… she was never happier then with me. So well see. I’m a month NC and nothing fmor her so idk yet it might take her a while lol… i was her first tho in bed and love so that has to mean something i think
Guys, should I send the letter after a month or after 2 months when I know her exams are over? When would be the best time?
Cantsum,
Try to not think of the letter yet. You could start writing it, and each day or every couple days look over it and make adjustments so it guarantees it is written in wise mind
I would see what happens during your month of NC. What day are you on now? Has she made contact as of yet? I just thought of you and wondered how you were doing/ if you had updates
You can see how you feel towards the end of NC especially if she has not yet said anything by then but right now it is still soon so I would wait a couple more weeks and maybe around day 26 start thinking of if it is best to send the letter now or wait a month and extend your NC. Feel out how YOU are doing, not just her. This is YOUR time to be selfish and do what is best for you
@Brokehearted123 … Good to hear from you
It’ll be 2 weeks tomorrow, so half through NC. I haven’t heard from her as of yet, but to be honest I’m not bothered if she doesn’t. I’ve got a good idea of what I’m going to write, so I’ll make drafts of it sooner rather than later.
That sounds like a good idea! I’m on day 7 of NC and still nothing… but I was super clingy/needy and getting worse so I’m hoping he will think I will say something and will start to wonder why I’m not??
And I’m glad you’re getting to a good place Also if she is so stressed/busy it may also be easier for her to avoid things…short term at least and then the crap will hit the fan, etc. And yeah you can start your drafts now and edit it every now and again
@Brokenhearted123 … that’s the main reason why I think she might not contact me, because she’s just fully focused on her exams. When her head is cleared up of all this mess, I think she’ll be more open to speaking.
Yeah that makes sense. When do the exams start? Does she have an exam week or are they all over the place time wise? But yeah other stress could distract her we never know! I wish we were psychics haha it would be so much easier 
And let me know what you think on if no contact will help break my neediness and make him wonder where I am bc he prob is expecting me to be begging for him back? It’s the last thing I wrote on my post haha.
@Brokenhearted123 … according to many, NC removes the negative traits your ex assimilates you with: i.e neediness, insecurity, etc … so yeah, NC can only do you good
But it’s up to you to stop yourself being needy if you guys get back together, because if you don’t, it’s likely you’ll break up again.
I’m not too sure when they start, but I know they end on the 16th May.
I wish we were psychic, or at least could mind read, so then we’d know exactly what our exes were intending. I always hope what exes are saying/thinking is “Why hasn’t she/he called yet, I expected him to beg if she/he ever cared about the relationship”.
I think that’s what goes through their heads early on during the period of No Contact, then it goes to “I wonder why …” and that’s when the missing stage begins!
I think she’ll realise the massive void in her life, she has to … she can’t be over it after 2 weeks.
You’ve got to tell yourself that … there’s no way, if you had a long relationship, your ex is going to over you so quickly, no matter what people tell you.
I got the email from Kevin telling about the different stages: Breakup Pain Healing >>>> Bad Memories Healing >>>> Missing You Badly >>>> Moving On
I think she’s still in the break up pain healing, and so am I. 2 weeks or so from now she’ll be somewhere between bad memories and missing me badly … I’ll wait a couple of weeks and then send the letter.
… I think my ex is in the
@ break up meaning period and so am I.
OMG my ex contacted me …
“Hey, hope you’re OK! I just transferred you the tent money, so you should be £80 richer. Hope uni is going well and you’re enjoying the sun!”
Does this look good??