My letter to my wife

reconciliation
1

Please be critical and nit pick. I want this to be perfect

Dear Jess,

The past few weeks I have become overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts of you and that is why I am writing you this letter. It has become painful to not be able to express those feelings to you, especially when I should have done it earlier.

You gave me every chance to change and I squandered every one of them. I wish I could go back in time and beat some sense into me but I can’t. That will be the single greatest regret I will every have in my life. However, through God’s will and strength, I have moved on and learned from it. The reason I have done so is because I could never live with myself if I gave up on you. I know for sure that there is no other woman that I will love more than life itself, that I would stop at nothing for to make sure that she is protected, loved, and happy. I don’t want to live with that mistake of giving up.

I have been thinking and praying about this many times over the past few weeks. I believe that in every person’s life, there comes a time when he has to lay everything on the line in order to fight for what he wants. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than this. I want you. I know I don’t deserve you, but at this point, I am no longer scared to lay it out on the line and pour myself out for you. Because this is it, I’ve never felt more passionate about anything in my life and I’m not going to give up on this.

You gave me many happy times and wonderful memories like the time you walked into a post office and asked if there is a post box nearby, or when we were driving through Stratford and I thought the turnoff to Wellington would only take us to Wellington and not Levin, or when we first met I gave you a necklace and you said “Oh cool. Thanks.” The simple memory of us holding each other brings a warmth to my heart that no one else will ever be able to give.

There are simply no words to describe how much you mean to me. You asked me several times why I loved you and my answer always was “I just do.” Even I don’t completely understand it sometimes. It’s something that comes naturally, and I can neither help it nor argue with it.

I have said and done many hurtful things over the years, things that I would have given anything to take back but I can’t. The only think I can do is to say I am so sorry. I have been so selfish. I have trampled on you with my words and with my actions. I have loved other things, when I should have loved you.

In the last few weeks, I believe that God has removed the negative emotions that have clouded my feelings for you and revealed a love for you that I have never thought existed. I have asked Him to forgive me and I am hoping, I am praying, that somehow you would be able to forgive me too and grant me the privilege of another chance. Jess, I do not want to live the rest of my life without you. I know I can never make up for everything that I have done to you but I will spend the rest of my life trying.

Yours always and forever,
Sean.

2

I notice you’re from NZ. What part of NZ are you from? I’m also from NZ living in east Auckland.

I think your letter is lovely. You have acknowledged your wrong doings in your relationship and have taken steps to eliminate them.

I think you could also talk about your 3 lovely children that you share with your wife.

You might want to also fix some of the auto correct spelling errors.

I have added and change some parts of the letter. Most of it is original tho.

Just my 2 cents but I think you have done well with this. I really hope everything works out for you and Jess.

Keep us posted.

Dear Jess,

The past few weeks I have become overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts of you and that is why I am writing you this letter. It has become painful to not be able to express those feelings to you, especially when I should have done it earlier.

You gave me every chance to change and I squandered every one of them. I wish I could go back in time and beat some sense into me but I can’t. That will be the single greatest regret I will ever have in my life. However, through God’s will and strength, I have moved on and learned from it. The reason I have done this is because I could never live with myself if I gave up on you. I know for sure that there is no other woman I will ever love more than life itself, I would stop at nothing to make sure you are protected, loved, and happy. I don’t want to live with that mistake of giving up.

I have been thinking and praying about this many times over the past few weeks. I believe that in every person’s life, there comes a time when they have to lay everything on the line in order to fight for what they want. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than this. I want you, I want our marriage and most of all I want us to be a happy family again. I know I don’t deserve you, but I am no longer scared to lay it all out on the line and pour my heart out to you. I have never felt more passionate about anything or anyone in my life and I am not going to give up on us or our family.

You gave me many happy times and wonderful memories like the time you walked into a post office and asked if there is a post box nearby, or when we were driving through Stratford and I thought the turnoff to Wellington would only take us to Wellington and not Levin, or when we first met I gave you a necklace and you said “Oh cool. Thanks.” The simple memory of us holding each other brings a warmth to my heart that no one else will ever be able to give.

Jess, we share 3 wonderful kids together… (maybe mention their names and some memory, not really sure, you will know better)

There are simply no words to describe how much you mean to me. You asked me several times why I loved you and my answer always was “I just do.” Even I don’t completely understand it sometimes. It’s something that comes naturally, and I can neither help it nor argue with it.

I have said and done many hurtful things over the years, things that I would give anything to take back, but I can’t. The only think I can do is say I am so sorry. I have been so selfish. I have trampled on you with my words and with my actions. I have loved other things, when I should have loved you.

In the last few weeks, I believe that God has removed the negative emotions that have clouded my feelings for you and revealed a love for you that I have never thought existed. I have asked Him to forgive me and I am hoping that somehow you would be able to forgive me too and grant me the privilege of another chance. Jess, I do not want to live the rest of my life without you. I know I can never make up for everything that I have done to you but I will spend the rest of my life trying.

Yours always and forever,
Sean.

3

It’s a wonderful letter full of honest heartfelt sentiments!

You wrote:“…single greatest regret I will every have in my life” I’m sure it was a typo, but I will every have in my life should be ever have in my life…

You wrote:“…through God’s will and strength, I have moved on and learned from it.” Omit I have moved on. Just say;…learned from it.

You wrote:" I know for sure that there is no other woman that I will love more than life itself, that I would stop at nothing for to make sure that she is protected, loved, and happy. I don’t want to live with that mistake of giving up." OMG, don’t say you would stop at nothing to make sure that she is protected, loved, and happy. Say I would stop at nothing to make sure you are protected, loved, and happy. And don’t end the paragraph with “I don’t want to live with that mistake of giving up” because earlier in the paragraph you said you could never live with yourself if you gave up on her.

The first part of the next paragraph is good, but then you wrote:“I know I don’t deserve you, but at this point, I am no longer scared to lay it out on the line and pour myself out for you. Because this is it, I’ve never felt more passionate about anything in my life and I’m not going to give up on this.” Maybe you could write; “I know I don’t deserve you, but I’ve never felt more passionate about anything in my life other than reuniting with you, and I’m no longer afraid to lay it on the line and pour myself out for you. I don’t want to give up on us.”

In the 6th paragraph, I’m sure this was another typo:“The only think I can do is to say I am so sorry.” (think should be thing)

Let us know her response, okay?

4

WOW, I just read DK101 comments and he had some great ideas to include in your letter!!

5

Dear Jess,

The past few weeks I have become overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts of you and that is why I am writing you this letter. It has become painful to not be able to express those feelings to you, especially when I should have done it earlier.

You gave me every chance to change and I squandered every one of them. I wish I could go back in time and beat some sense into me but I can’t. That will be the single greatest regret I will ever have in my life. However, through God’s will and strength, I have learned from it. The reason I have done this is because I could never live with myself if I gave up on you. I know for sure that there is no other woman I will ever love more than life itself. I would stop at nothing to make sure you are protected, loved, and happy.

I have been thinking and praying about this many times over the past few weeks. I believe that in every person’s life, there comes a time when they have to lay everything on the line in order to fight for what they want. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life than this. I want you, I want our marriage and most of all I want us to be a happy family again. I know I don’t deserve you, but I’ve never felt more passionate about anything in my life other than reuniting with you, and I’m no longer afraid to lay it on the line and pour myself out for you. I don’t want to give up on us or our family.

You gave me many happy times and wonderful memories like the time you walked into a post office and asked if there is a post box nearby, or when we were driving through Stratford and I thought the turnoff to Wellington would only take us to Wellington and not Levin, or when we first met I gave you a necklace and you said “Oh cool. Thanks.” But above all the simple memory of us holding each other brings a warmth to my heart that no one else will ever be able to give.

We have three wonderful children together that I would not trade for anything. We have both been there for them, together, since the very beginning. I was there for the birth of each of them.

There are simply no words to describe how much you mean to me. You asked me many times why I loved you and my answer always was “I just do.” Even I don’t completely understand it sometimes. It’s something that comes naturally, and I can neither help it nor argue with it.

I have said and done many hurtful things over the years, things that I would give anything to take back, but I can’t. The only thing I can do is say I am so sorry. I have been so selfish. I have trampled on you with my words and with my actions. I have loved other things, when I should have loved you.

In the last few weeks, I believe that God has removed the negative emotions that have clouded my feelings for you and revealed a love for you that I have never thought existed. I have asked Him to forgive me and I am hoping that somehow you would be able to forgive me too and grant me the privilege of another chance. Jess, I do not want to live the rest of my life without you. I know I can never make up for everything that I have done to you but I will spend the rest of my life trying.

Yours always and forever,
Sean.

DK101 Yes I am from NZ and in Levin at the moment. My ex and kids are in Ashhurst. Is you ex from NZ too? Any update from that?

6

The revised version of your letter is perfect:)

7

Make sure to hand write the letter.

The revised version is great :slight_smile:

My ex is also from NZ we live like 5KM apart.

She is leaving the country in 4 days. Didn’t end up seeing her on Sunday. Really want to see her at the airport but she asked not to so I will respect that.

Im just waiting till she gets back, we are friendly but she wont spare any time for me. Just hope i didn’t screw up my chances by getting into a rebound relationship which is over now.

TBH I am feeling great recently and I think i’m beginning to move on but only time will tell.

When are you going to send your letter?

8

Well I was going to send it sometime in the next few days. But now I just found out that I have to go up to the teachers college for a week 24-28 June. I will have to speak to her about it for child care.

Should I still send it now or wait until I come back?

9

I would say send it soon. From your other posts I’v read, she seems quite positive and looks like she still cares a lot for you. By the sounds of it you seem to be pulling back from her when she shows interest. This could be sending the wrong signals to her.

Send it to her and let her think about it. You will be busy too, so you won’t get time to let your mind wonder if she doesn’t respond.

I think you have a good chance at getting her back but you need to communicate with her and don’t shut down when you see her. Be positive, show her that you are the man for her.

Keep us updated :slight_smile:

10

Wow ! I think it’s good! I would be very happy if my partner asked me back like this. All the best and keep us posted !

11

Well it’s done. I wrote it all (3 pages), tried to put it off and then I went and sent it. She should get it tomorrow or Friday.

12

Thats great news. Do you feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders?

Did you post the letter or drop it in her mail box?

Stay positive, I sure you will get the right outcome :slight_smile:

For now just focus on yourself :slight_smile:

13

I posted it. It should have been picked up by now and on it’s way there if it’s not there already.

I keep trying to not think about her but my mind keeps going back to her.

14

Join a gym, it helps a lot and push yourself. Become the person you’ve always wanted to be. Change your routine, your lifestyle and appearance.

Thats what I am doing and it’s really helping me a lot. I have gained a lot more confidence and am seeing changes in my body. A lot of motivation is coming from trying to win my ex back (I know is sounds bad but it’s really helping). Even if it doesn’t happen, I will be happy with myself and my progress.

Focus on yourself and your kids now. Things happen when we least expect them to and you never know what the future holds.

15

This is her response

“Hi I got yr letter. I think if we see if we can be friends while you are doing your study, and then see how things are, as we need to be able to be good friends first. Thanks for yr letter.”

That’s an improvement over not wanting to give me false hope and knowing for sure that she can never be in an intimate relationship.

16

Wow, that sounds like great news :slight_smile:

So she is still open to the idea of a relationship.

Listen to her and try being a good friend. Everything will naturally progress from there.

However don’t let yourself be taken advantage of.

Things seem to be improving and progressing.

We are proud of you, good job :slight_smile:

17

Yes, her response was positive and seems things are headed in the right direction:) Be sure to listen attentively to all she says and give her honest thorough answers to all her questions. Be upbeat whenever you speak with her or see her. Ask about the kids. Ask about her. Let her know more detail as to what is happening in your life etc…

I think you know all this, but just as a reminder…

18

PS: It wouldn’t hurt to give her compliments on occasion:) Wish you the best…