She is something else this one.
I am confused as shit.
I messaged back saying it would have been good to get a proper goodbye.
Told her I would read the big message later.
She agreed to meet at 7
By saying ok let’s do 7x
In fairness to her she doesn’t want you feeling resentful and it leaves the door open. Do your own thing, now clearly isn’t the time for you both. It may never be again, but through the silence she has been thinking about what is best for you both and concluded that now is not good.
Having been split up for 3 months now, a new thought came to me last night. After over 6 years together my ex never contacted my family, wrote a letter to my parents, nothing. I went over to the States for 6 months on my own and she stayed at my house so became very close with my family. My parents took her as their own. I have never had a decent reason for the split either, no letter, no heart to heart. She just finished and walked away.
Maybe this is cleaner, may be it makes it easier. I don’t know, its just that I see everyone else being a lot more thoughtful to each other.
wait so you’re meeting her tonight? but it is a goodbye meet up?
I am glad you are seeing her, that makes things ten times better. Make sure you get whatever you need off your chest, it’s not about saving face now. My solace came once I knew I had done everything. I have no idea what the outcome will be but it sounds like it will be a nice meet up, good luck
Bad yeh she said to go get my stuff at 7.
Fred.
I agree it may get emotional but whatever.
Even if we where together I think I would have still gone to Dubai.
I am going to try and be a bit more prepared this time.
Also go to the gym before try and workout some of the emotion and anxiety.
Fred sometimes a clean break like that is probably best. All this bukkshit just muddles your head up as you can see.
My biggest regret is letting my emotions get the best of me, at 32 realising I have never really been in love before. I didn’t take that well at all got angry upset scared all kinds of things. I lashed at my ex because I couldn’t open up to her because she is an emotional retard.
Live and learn Jb, I’m 43 and still fucking up! Man to be 32 again, you got plenty of time 
Inam not going to try and get her back selfish really but I want to see if she can be emotionless in person. To easy to do stuff over the phone.
I sent a message last nights that pretty much laid it all on the line.
Saying the move was for me and it’s tough because I close a chapter in my life starting a new one with no one and in that process learning who the real me is again.
I then proceeded to say I will never be sorry for being my authentic self, you fell in love with him.
Then had that message this morning.
Jb, my ex def resisted any face to face meeting too. And I also now face moving to a new city (hers) but not with her or to be with her. I am sure there will be lonely moments but I am determined to get on and succeed, I am sure you will too. I like the fact that you refused to apologise for being you, good move.
This is what I said and didn’t proof read stupidly and sent it raw.
I am super exited and looking forward to finally getting something for me and not trying to please other people. I am sorry the way it worked out between us. That doesn’t take away the fact I feel really proud seeing you already becoming successful. You deserve it!
I haven’t don’t things like i am supposed to, I never stuck to no contact etc. however I am me and for all my faults. I am a genuine lovely honest loyal person. I don’t think two months and 16 hour weekend of stuff is the be all end all. I’ll continue on my journey to making my self happy. Have I found complete self happiness. You know what yeh, I think I have. I am perfect no I am not, no one is.
I just want to thank you for eroding all my bad experiences in qatar in the short space of time we knew each other.
I hate that you now see things in me that are wrong but they came out through fear, dear of rejection and not being good enough. Those fears trigger reactions.
Two people in my life that have acceptable the authentic me. You and my grandfather, both having similar traits caring and just the kindest person ever.
I wish it was someone else that had to see this and then I met you, because I don’t care if you want to here it or not. I thought I met the one with you, this message isn’t about me being emotional. There is a difference, this is me showing this is me and I am proud of it.
Not the silly things i did but my huge heart and kindness.
I cannot change what I did but just so to myself that, I have said good bye to that person. Who never felt good enough and rejected. That was tough as I now experience s new life opportunity in a new country. Whilst exploring whom I really am.
Honestly I wanted to send this not to get back together or to react to anything.
I want to show I don’t regret being my authentic self. You fell in love with him.
Jburg-I’ve been really busy with work so I haven’t had a chance to actually read this thread that you requested I check out. I did hear that Finntoga is helping you out-that’s great because she’s brilliant!
So guys update from my side.
Went round last night, we ended up having a chat all night and a few glasses of wine.
We didn’t speak about us at all all evening was really nice just chatting.
She then asked me to stay and said but we aren’t sleeping together.
I wanted to leave every ounce of me wanted to go.
I ended up staying and we cuddled all night initiated by her. Proper close. We almost kissed but both stopped.
I was there then all morning and she would get out of bed satin I was a bad influence but it was hair so comfortable.
Then this morning the chat happened and I told her I can’t say goodbye as I believe if I move away it would make us be able to work.
She said she thinks it would never work if I stay in qatar. That for me the move is the best thing. We hugged again both saying lets not say goodbye. She just said it’s the trust she can’t get passed.
Glad you had a nice evening JB. I am a bit frustrated with her, she clearly has feelings for you but is not working on things with you, just like mine. So many people not working on things anymore grrr. Time will be a great healer here I think, but hanging on to anything now is not going to do you any good. I think you’ve done yourself no harm here, take comfort in the fact that you have shown yourself to be a decent caring guy. That will speak many more words with her than anything else. Now let time do its thing
she clearly is stopping me moving on because she doesnt know what she wants.
She fully admitted this morning that she has completely sut because she cant deal with all this right now, she opened up to me last night about her suffering panic attacks and she thinks she may need to speak to someone. She never told me that before.
She admitted that no one knows what can happen in the future, but she needs to get this summer out of the way. work is all she can think about at the moment.
I said perhaps you could come visit dubai, she said lets see. why don’t you get set up first.
was tough as i turned 180 i went there to say goodbye and now my head is messed up, her behaviour isn’t consistent at all.
I don’t want to sound like a douche saying this mate, but in my experience when a woman wants to spend the night with you but says that she won’t sleep with you it generally means the opposite and she wants to but wants you to initiate it. It may have been that she was giving a chance for the spark to re-ignite through intimacy or it may have been more of a “last goodbye for now” type scenario.
not that it matters too much because from what she’s followed on with it doesn’t sound like that was a make or break scenario.
She is leaving a lot of doors open and opening up to you more, which is positive. You do have to get on with the move and just see how things go as she has said she wants you to go and do your thing and she wants to do hers, but has not closed off the possibility of visiting etc.
I know that’s what it usually means mate, but this one is a unique girl. I tried to kiss her and she said oi. Amongst other things, I didn’t push it.
I am just completely confused by it all. How she can go from binning me of Friday to asking me to come meet her and asking me to stay. Then her initiating the contact All be it a bit of spooning.
The spark was still there for me and she wasn’t looking through me if you get what I mean. Time will tell now.
Wow Jburg if I were in your shoes I wouldn’t know what to think. Could it have been someone that’s lonely looking for a bit of familiarity or that she genuinely misses you and is contemplating having you in her life. Well only she knows and it sounds like she’s just as confused too.
The big thing here is the trust issue. You have to not only regain it but she needs to know she can trust you always. It’s very hard to comeback from your position.
All you can do is keep moving forward in your life and if she wants to be a part of that she will let you know.
@ty10, i agree its up to her to get passed it now.
The past few days i have laid it all out, right or wrong thing to do i don’t care now.
I shouldn’t of stayed, but i would have lived with regret. I had no desire to sleep with her, i wanted what she gave to be honest. All i wanted to know is does she care, i know she has shut down and i can only hope friendship can bring her out of her bubble.
My head is mangled i have no idea where she is. all i can do is listen and continue the move for me. hoping i continue to show positive changes.
I personally don’t think i was emotional all affection was initiated by her.
Guys,
i havent had the best of days to be honest.
I am soooo confused my head is spinning.
No contact isn’t going to work i don’t think, is it fake friendship time or do i let her just get on with her issues.
then some day maybe she may realise it was not all bad.
i did everything i shouldn’t of last night and this morning, this girl has some sort of hold on me and i lose focus and an idea of where i need to be around her.
Its frustrating.
HArd to say Jburg, I think either approach will work now so go with your gut, but don’t be going for FF just because it helps you keep in touch. Think hard. I feel for you mate, I have bad days too, I Was feeling good today but had a really hard pang a short time ago. Just got to take it as part of the process, it does get better.