Hi there! Me and my ex is 23 years old.
Is it going to help with no contact? if so for how long?
My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday, we´ve been on and off for nearly three years now. He broke up with me now with the same reason as last year in february, and wrote to me a month after no contact. But it´s the same reason he broke up this time like it was last year,i think last year was a much worse break up. He wrote to me the day after he broke up (this year) that he has a hard time believing me changing, because i never did when i promised in the relationship.
We got in a serious relationship last september again BUT i´ve been having problems on letting the past between us go, i feel like me still being sad about things we did towards eachother made me hold back alot of feelings and showing feelings. This has been an issue for him much of the time we spent together, he told me multiple times that he had to see a change in that or else he can´t be with me, he didn´t felt that much love from me even if i really loved him. Each time he nearly broke up with me because he didn´t see a change, i always said that i will change and show more emotions. I really thought i would change but it was harder than i thought. He nearly broke up with me multiple times, but stayed everytime i promised change because he had such strong feelings towards me. Alot of things made me hold back feelings, my own securities, things we did in the past to eachother that was really bad and that my family don´t like him anymore because of things he did.
I got desperate yesterday and said i will change AGAIN, this time is gonna be different and blahblah. But i confessed about why i didn´t change in the relationship, i didn´t take his words seriously when he nearly broke up and that i know my faults, what i can work on and i know it was wrong that i grieved our past when i was with him, it´s not wrong to grieve, but it affected me so much that i got stuck in overthinking that instead of working on the relationship. He wrote to me today " my feelings got a little less stronger each time you promised me change and i didn´t see any, i gave you so many chances just because i´ve never felt this way before and i really wanted to be with you, if i only saw A LITTLE change i know my feelings would be as strong as they´ve always been" So he wanted to be with me but he couldn´t stand to give any more chances. Do you think i have a chance in getting him back, even after multiple breakups with the same reason it got to an end? I´m ready to let go off all things that made me hold back, i know what i did wrong, what i can and will work on and i´m ready to put in work for that!
but this time it´s different, when we got in a relationship again september 2018 he told me he wants to grow, and he can´t grow if we end up doing the same mistakes as in the last relationships, now that happened… and he said ´if i saw just one little change my feelings would be as strong as always´but he never saw a change, everytime he nearly broke up with me i said i´m going to change, i really thought so, but i didn´t know why i wasn´t able to change. I know that now, it´s from me still being really sad from the past, i didn´t know that i was actually kind of unhappy with him just for that, so i wasn´t able to show how much i loved him. I told him yesterday that i know everything that held me back and everything that i could´ve done better,
He said " it´s hard to believe that you know that now when you didn´t change everytime you said you would in the relationship" i´m worried he´s not going to believe me at all and not give me another chance