@amy111 i will thanks!! btw how’s your story going??
Yeah everything is good thanks! My friends are a bit ooer about us being back together though but that’s normal.
It’s annoying me a bit though-he said to me how badly he wants to go on holiday, but is arranging to go on holiday with other people before arranging it with me if that makes sense? So not sure why that’s happening…but he’s invited me to stay at his this weekend, and we’ve been really good so far and am really happy! 
1stanza course I will! I’m just about to go gym and then will read it
@amy111 i just watched this episode. its kind of… weird actually as to how it does resemble things.
maybe not as extreme haha, but yeah. i can see.
actually its kind of an eyeopener.
but this is incredibly hard. i suppose my situation is just not making it any easier at all with the friends etc…
i mean if this was any other person, then yeah it would be easier to just move on. but… damnit.
i wonder that if then she will be wondering why she is not getting the attention from me she wants…?
ive made no contact with her since tuesday. that day with the boxing.
So I finished nc… talked to her. She agreed to have coffee soon. The texts were ok. But she just left ir at… ok we will talk soon to see when we get together. Still waiting for her reply. Idk how long it will take. But since we live in the same gated community I have to pass by her house to get to mine… and Her car was not there and it was 530 am… fml. There is a bit more to the story. But she just told me before we agreed to the coffee that she though. Didn’t want to be her friend or anything so she was confused. And that’s when I replied. Np, it’s cool we will talk about soon. Something like that. And she said ok. I’m a bit hurt… she never stays out so late. Not even when she was with me. I’m thinking the worse . Fml
Yes Thargus, she will be mind f*** trust me. But just hang in there man. Your ex is the type thay actually contacts you. You are gonna make her feel in a way insecure. If she contacts you. Let us know. We are here to help. For now, stay strong. Don’t give her what she wants.
Thing is, I dont even think shes intentionally doing it to take advantage, its more of a comfort zone thing if that makes sense?
I think anyone with the right mind would know to keep some distance and not to be too friendly to help and ex partner heal better. So no, I think she is taking advantage. She doesn’t want to be back, or to be stuck in a relationship right now, but also she hasn’t found someone else either so she just does this. You really MUST distance yourself and NOT take any of her invites. You MUST.
She hasn’t contacted me since last Tuesday, she started her new job yesterday too. Normally I would ask her how it is going, but because of this NC its more difficult Than one would imagine! Haha
Yeah, dont ask. If she asks why and you decide to answer just say yeah sorry been busy. just that. dont say with what. nothing x)
she txt me last night asking “how’re things?” i didnt reply till today, all i said where “things are okay. did your nan like her card?” (i put on the card from john barrowman, her nan things i look like him… lol. she just replied and said “yeah she did haha sure john barrowman”
i wont reply now and see how she keeps reacting, little contact as possible to no contact at all. i am doing this guys! haha
good 
im proud of you, that was really good ahah, im excited to see what happens next 
let her initiate now
still nothing as of yet, i will update here every time it does happen though. im just clinging on hope this will all work out in the end…
Keep going @Thargus and focus on you. Your situation is very unique and complicated but she needs to realise you’re not at her beck and call.
I really do hope that it works out for you because from what I’ve read on here she likes having you in your life but doesn’t want to commit to a relationship. Perhaps over time with you not initiating any contact, she’ll come to realise what she’s lost.
Hey @ami @robertize My ex just contacted me today (big surprise) and ask me about my summer trip… I still act cool. And I also found that the girl he’s talking with change her avatar with a photo of my ex when he was a kid. Can it mean something??
how long am i supposed to make it to so i know? 1 month ?
Honestly guys. I’m in no position to give advice. I ended nc after a month trying to be friends with my ex and she ditched me twice. I’m done. It hurts. But things don’t go as planned. Hope u guys have better luck.
So another contact has been made yesterday.
she said this, “i almost died in the gym this morning. those bloody steps.”
shes clearly just trying to get my attention sending something so random.
i replied today in the evening (on purpose) saying “lol they are so much fun. i had to work a 14 hour shift yesterday then back in at 5:30am. hells bells.”
she has just replied saying “Rough. this is my first week of working 7 days a week and im already cream crackers”
ill either wait another while to reply or not reply to this one. unsure as of yet. need to take a step back and think.
i dont know if this is heading in a right direction or what…
but i do think that these things are on her mind :-
- shes sort of wondering why i havent asked about her new job.
- shes wondering why im so quiet all of a sudden. ( which is why shes trying to get me to get my attention with a random text every so often)
3.becuase im so quiet, shes probably wondering what im up to. - i think… MAYBE… could be overthinking this… that she has talked to her friend about this. her friend randomly text me the other day asking “how i am and how is my nan?” (nan isnt well atm see) but, she never ever texts me or anything really, only ever about overtime at work or something. and i said “im okay thanks, a little in the dumps, but other than that im okay, thanks for asking :)” to which she didnt reply…
then a day later her very same friend put a picture of them both on facebook together while they were out. THAT is most likely coincidence, and just something she wanted to do. but it did cross my mind. i cant help that.
again iw ill say, this is way harder than i imagined it would be.
but i guess… its kind of nice to know that she is sort of “thinking about me” ina way that, “i wonder what hes doing? hes been quiet?”
and i cant help think that shes a little nervous in wondering, otherwise she would just outright ask me " so whats up? what’ve you been doing? your quiet etc blah blah."
but all she is doing is trying to get my attention. hmm.
we will keep this going.
thank you all by the way for the support, honestly its outrageously awesome of you all. i know ive been lackluster on here but i will admit its because i have been heavily down in the dumps to to circumstances and we all feel the same way, so im going to make myself more committed on here to help you lot just as you help me. i havent really been fair in that sense so… yeah haha
@Thargus Honestly, you really need to keep contact to a minimum. That text you got today was breadcrumbs that you’re probably reading too much into and IMO shouldn’t be replying to at all.
She wants your attention and every time you reply to silly and frankly lazy texts like that you’re just feeding her the attention she craves.
To me it’s clear she misses your attention but I’m not entirely sure she misses you (you know your ex better than anyone so feel free to disagree with me). If she really missed you to the extent she wants to work on your relationship then she’d put the effort in.
As Amy said a fair bit ago in this thread, someone doesn’t realise what they’ve lost until they don’t have it anymore. So go as limited of contact as you can! And hang in there!
I agree with ty10
I know I keep saying this but you need to cut it off. Don’t reply ANYMORE. You said you don’t know where this is heading? Let me tell you: Nowhere! Sorry, its the truth! How long has it been? 4 5 months? And you STILL talk 2 3 times a week? It never went anywhere, why would it be going anywhere now? You seriously need to answer to her MAYBE every other text, meaning you will ignore texts, or take DAYS to text her back. You need to MOVE ON, you are still holding on, still thinking too much and thinking what will happen if you do this or that. Just totally focus on you, go out, go to clubs, dont meet up with her, just dont give two fucks about her. She is seeking you cause she needs someone to fill the void and to keep you hanging. I can assure you if you dated someone tomorrow, she would come crying begging for you. 90% sure of that. She is being an attention seeking egotistical person. If she had any consideration towards you she would know to give you some time to get over her. She doesn’t want that and doesn’t care if she is keeping you on a leash