Hey Ed, how did the meditation class go last night? Did you manage to get some sleep?
Hi Emily,
It went really well, probably helped by being in a lighter mood after receiving the messages from her brother, I felt like a bit of the weight had gone from my mind and it seemed to last through the rest of the day and through the yoga class I tried in the evening, which was also very good.
As for sleeping I still woke up around 2.30 as usual but this time was only awake for
about an hour or so rather than the rest of the night, and I managed to sleep again until about 6ish, so probably the best night I’ve had In 6 weeks, hopefully it will continue.
Any news from you? Did she contact you at all?
Hi Ed,
This is good news, hopefully your sleep will improve gradually with your medication and the relaxation techniques kicking in. I wonder how you have managed to hold on with so little sleep over the past 6 weeks. I am glad you are doing better!
Have you sent the letter through or have you decided to wait for a bit longer?
Will update you on my situation on my thread 
Emily.
Hi Emily,
I have no idea how I’ve been managing, I think it’s been pure adrenalin, and somehow I didn’t even look that tired even though it felt like my eyes had sunk into the back of my head I really hope this is the start of getting back on track.
I did send the letter, after your opinion and a few of my friends ok’d it, I sent it on Monday evening so it should be there today (gulp)
I have no idea what to expect, if anything, I still think I will just need to wait it out, painful as it is.
Ed
Hi Ed,
It’s incredible what hormones can do! But little by little the bird builds its nest, you are doing great!
I know it’s hard but allow her some time to respond - it most probably took her by surprise (a nice one!). Keep doing what you are doing in the meantime!
Emily.
Hi Emily,
well, she texted me, I nearly dropped my phone, she said thanks for returning her CD and asked about the new place, I admit I waited a few hours to reply as I didn’t want to appear to keen. When I did reply I played it cool and didn’t give to much away and then a minute later she texted back basically asking questions about my job and what I’d been up to, I waited about 10 mins before each reply but all of hers were within a minute of mine.
She then said “if you ever want to chat feel free to let me know or to call :-)”
And I responded “that would be really nice maybe over the next few days, I’m heading to another yoga class shortly :-)”
“Oooh brilliant enjoy it and speak soon then :-)”
I’m trying not to read into it too much and I never mentioned our relationship or the other guy, I’ve just got to keep my cool and see what happens.
I think I’m still in shock.
Hi Ed,
This is great news! Your letter was defo spot on for her to contact you so quickly after receiving it. You are right not to want to read too much into it but there is something you can be sure about: she appreciated it and that made her want to be in touch with you.
You have played it cool. You must feel excited now because you now have some more leverage (and in shock as you said as well!) and I know it’s hard to refrain from getting over-excited but keep focusing on relaxation techniques and let her come to you.
So far, so good. Well done!
Emily.
I have to admit after yesterdays high today I dropped a little low. I guess I’m trying not to over analyse what was said too much, yeah it’s great she got in touch but I’m now worried that she just wants to be friends while still seeing this guy, there’s no way I’m going to the friendzone, so I guess I’ll have to wait and see, if that is the case then it’s back to no contact again.
Hi Ed,
I felt exactly the same the day after I contacted my ex and we exchanged a couple of messages - so it is totally normal to feel that way! You are going through what I call the “half-bliss / half-torture” period. Half bliss because she got in touch (which is a big big step!), half-torture because at this stage there is no way to know what that means exactly.
To be honest I totally understand you when you say you don’t want to be in the friendzone. Some people can handle it but I cannot be friends with someone I have feelings for: it’s everything or nothing. BUT you don’t know yet whether this is the friendzone - wait and see and in the meantime keep focusing on what you have been doing so well since you started the 5 step plan! It is bearing fruits!
Good luck!
Emily.
Hi Emily,
Your right it hasn’t happened yet. Depression is a strange thing, it punishes you when you start to feel a little better about things, The last two days have been better after talking with her brother and then with her contacting me but today just had that slight spiral to it, but reading your words definitely helped thank you, I also went to another meditation class today which helped as well.
I’ve just got back from a friends who a load of us visit every week and just found out from the one friend who my ex is in contact with that the new guy is a ex coke head, a current pot head(she detests smoking)and my ex suspects he’s back on the coke again and used the words “don’t know if this will go anywhere”, maybe that’s why she was glad to hear from me? Obviously she is still with him but hopefully starting to see through him, but again I cant allow my self to hope to much, as long as she doesn’t try to be the one to save him from himself or any of that ****.
Has there been any contact at your end today?
Thanks for putting things into perspective
Ed
Hi Ed,
Well… human nature is a strange thing! The communication with her brother and the fact she positively responded to your letter are definitely good signs, which is why you have (rightfully!) built up some expectations and hopes.
The words she used are another good sign. Think about it, she has been with that guy for a short period of time (2 months?) and she is already wondering what the hell is going on. If that guy is really back on the coke or even assuming he is only smoking pot, in her eyes your “grown-up” letter must have come as a stark contrast to that guy’s behaviour. You scored a big point there.
You are more than welcome by the way
Emily.
Hi Emily,
I purposely didn’t message her yesterday despite her invitation all though I was very tempted to.
I have been thinking about possibly sending her a message later today, just something casual like
" Hi, not sure if your aware but the weather is going to get really bad this weekend, you might want to rug up the horses tonight as its going to be wet and cold"
and then leaving the ball in her court, I know she would appreciate the heads up but if she’s going to be with him as it is a Friday night I guess I wont get much back.
It’s really hard to make the right call, I guess I’m where you were a few hours ago.
Ed
Hi Ed,
I think you can go ahead and send her that message, it’s very thoughtful and non-pushy. Maybe send it early afternoon or something, if you send it at night it might look like you have nothing planned tonight and are just waiting for her reply.
Good on you to have resisted the urges yesterday!
Emily.
Hey. I don’t think you should send that letter. I think you should focus on yourself for a few months and then contact her. Trust me, all the pain and mistakes will fade with time, and that doesn’t have to do with love, that will happen anyways. You guys were in a serious relationship and even if she is in another relationship, 7 years is too much to let go like that. But your issues were the cause and you should get yourself healed first, you wanna be in your best version when you contact her again. You are not a bad person. Don’t stalk her or her new bf, try to forget their lives focus on yours. It’s been a month but you guys had a long relationship, so in my opinion a month is not enough. Be happy and try dating someone else, not to forget her but to distract your mind and focus more on yourself. I wish you the best luck!!!
Hey Laurais13,
I think you might be a bit behind on a few posts, the letter was sent 5 days ago and I’ve already had a promising reply, I haven’t been stalking either of them but have had news from her family and mutual friends that the new bf is into drugs and its not going well.
I appreciate your kind words and point of view.
Oh ok I’m sorry I’ll read them. Can you read mine?
Sorry for that response again and I think you are on a great path. Just act cool she is coming to you and the right moment will come. I’m glad that the letter worked. Did you text her that message?
No Problem, its early days yet so I’m trying to keep my head. I sent the message about 20 mins ago but she will be at work at the moment so I’m not expecting anything for a while at least.
I will have a look at you post shortly.
Yes I think you are on the right path but if she doesn’t answer you back don’t let your brain act out because of the rejection try to keep calm and breathe and just wait patiently. Let me know when she answers you or if she doesn’t.
So I got a reply,saying thank you and that she’ll be free for a chat anytime this weekend if I want.
I replied, “Ok, I’ve got one or two things on but will give you a call at some point.”
I hope it didnt sound to cold but I don’t want her to think I’ll come running.
but she did say “Ok speak soon then :-)”
UPDATE
Just as I was typing this post she has texted again telling me about a degree course she has started. I’m trying not to get my hopes up at the sudden change in circumstance.