Hi, kind of a long story but hoping to see if there is any hope!
So, my ex and were together for over two years. Our relationship started long distance (I lived out of state and would travel back every two weeks to see her) and after a year together we moved in once I got a place in the city she lived. I purposefully moved to the city she was finishing college in to be close to her.
At first it was great! We loved each other and got along great. Though, I was going through a rough patch in my professional life and was having a hard time holding down a stable job. After a few months I started drinking more and playing video games while ignoring her. This lead to fights and usually I would just walk out of the room because I didn’t feel the fights would lead to any sort of resolution. After a while she ended the relationship while we were still living together and we were in the same apartment for the next eight months. We had a few months where we almost got back together and then things would go bad again. Eventually, I was a mess. Couldn’t find a good job and was drinking 3-5 nights a week to simply not have to deal with all of the arguments. Last June she moved out for good and we actually decided to give the relationship another try. It didn’t last long however and we stopped talking.
I went three months without speaking to her and then reached out again. She responded positively and that was right around the time I found this site. We were texting for about a week and then I started getting really needy and desperate - texting her all the time and harassing her. This went on for three months (ridiculous I know, but I can be an obsessive person when I want something) It wasn’t anything aggressive or mean, just desperate and needy. We talked on the phone a few times and she kept telling me she didn’t care if she ever spoke to me again. I kept texting her and eventually she stopped responding all together.
21 days ago I stopped messaging her and was planning on actually following the guide here and reaching out after 30 days has passed. I saw her in a coffee shop today, I believe she may be dating someone else (a woman - she is bi sexual). I am just wondering if you have any advice. I was planning on using the elephant text, but I’m concerned because I have apologized so many times and have gone back on my word. I’m nervous an elephant in the room text won’t be believable in her eyes.
Anyway, any advice is warranted!
Also, since we broke up my job has stabilized, I invested in real estate, lost 10 pounds, hired a personal trainer and bought a new truck. Have literally flipped my life around 180 degrees. The last thing to fix here is my needy attitude which I am damn determined to do!