Hello,
my ex left me around 10 days ago (we had around 4 years long relationship, reason was she didn’t feel anymore as feminine as she used to be with me, more like friends only (i have understood and found out it was totally my mistake and have taken right away first steps to change my mindset in myself - mapped topics and also solutions to improve myself, so i would be better person to myself first and then to others) . but we had planned long holiday trip and she would still like me to go with her.
Also due to trip, i have sent 4 days ago - elephant in room message (she answered it and thanked and told it was so beautiful and right). Also after it i have talked with her via phone plus we had nice evening walk with small coffee and cake. it ended with long hug after we end to our own paths.
Now on Tuesday we will be going on the plane and will go to 17 days long trip.
At the moment i’m seeing that main cause of this breakup was the reason that i didn’t make her feel as feminine as she would like to (i had some really hard work related issues lately).
So in the holiday i was thinking to approach to this problem and start to work it all up nice and slowly (location is quite romantic and also we have some planned activities where it is possible to me to show up my masculine or so called alpha approach).
Only question is how should i start with all of this, just supporting her, and making compliments or is there any better solution to make her feel like perfect women in world and make her think that i want to get back to relationship with here. also i’m not planning to push her to relationship in trip, if there isn’t any good and really strong signs from her side.
The fact that she still wants to go on the trip with you is a good sign. Go and have a good time and play it by ear (so to speak). Be yourself, your improved self…
Hej,
Thanks for advice. Sadly trip didn’t improve anything. Next thing what I think is an option is to go to standard NC phase. How would it be best to start with it? Just stop contacting or tell her that trip was fun and all, but now I need a little time to myself? Or is there even any other solutions (except moving on)? The good sign what I had on trip was that she told me she had really good times.
“At the moment i’m seeing that main cause of this breakup was the reason that i didn’t make her feel as feminine as she would like to…” Did she say that or are you guessing? Did she give you a good reason why she broke up with you?
“(i had some really hard work related issues lately)”. Work issues should not affect your relationship. But if you think it did, how did it affect your relationship?
Sorry the trip didn’t go as well as you had hoped. Yes, notify her that you enjoyed the trip together, but you aren’t going to be contacting her for a while as you need time to process the breakup.
Good luck.
PS: What exactly do you mean by not making her feel feminine??
Hello,
yes she told it to me, that she didn’t feel as my fiance, but more like friend, at some point, that she didn’t felt like wanted (sexually).
And about the work issues, i bought them home, i had to do extra long days to get company going and it put me under big stress, i wasn’t able to dedicate enough time to her (it was purely my mistake).
PS. I thanked her about this trip and let her know that I need some time of my own. She understood it and told that she thinks it will do good for me. So if I understand her correctly she might still be interested about me but haven’t had chance to so called miss me.