I can really use to help and advice on my ex boyfriend. We have been broken up for a little over a month now. To me, it didn’t really feel much like a breakup, we didn’t yell or say anything bad, but it really hurts. We were together for more than 2 years. We started dating in highschool senior year then I had to move to another city after graduation to where we became long distance and starting college. I am only 2 hours away from him so we planned making visits to each other. Everything was really great, his family even loved and cared for me. We didn’t have any fights until a little after 1 year of dating. Me and him got into a fight over something really dumb but in the end we made up and became our happy selves again. But it turns out that his parents didn’t like what happened so I couldn’t come visit him anymore, he had to start come visiting me and it didn’t seem fair. I felt like this affected our relationship greatly but we were doing good by ourselves and even though we had some disagreements, we made it work out. Leading up to the break up, he was suppose to let me know if he could visit for the weekend but that week he was barely talking to me. When I finally told him about it, he told me that for the past few days he has been thinking about what he really wants in life and the relatiomship. He said that something has changed and doesn’t feel the same. He seemed to be confused and doesn’t know what. Neither do I. So then we broke up and didnt speak for 2 weeks until I gave in a contacted him. I didn’t act needy or tell my feelings, I was just being nice. We talked for a few and then I cut off the contacted. This is where I started to learn about the no contact rule and I was doing good until he contacted me asking if I was safe because of violent event in my city. I wasn’t going to reply but I felt like I had to let him know. We talked and then he stop replying. I restarted the no contact and I am 23 days now. I must admit we sent one text but I immediately cut off the contact. I am 20 years old and I feel it deep in my heart that he is the one for me. We had agreed to be friends but I don’t want to be friends, I went to be with him. We talked about everything together, even the future. We wanted to get married and have kids and I still want that. It’s more than just the feeling of missing him, we had a special connection, even when we were friends before dating each other. It’s hard talking to someone for 2 years straight all day everyday then going silent. I shared everything with him. I have tried to feel that gap but talking to other people and my friends but it’s not the same. If you or anything has really good advice then I would gladly appreciate it! I would love to have the sweet, loving, caring guy I had before back
You have no idea how much this relates to my situation as well mari. Maybe not in the same reasons for why we broke up but our two relationships were along the same lines in how it was LDR and our SO had done some serious thinking about the future.
Heartbreakingly deciding to take us out of theirs
Both me and my ex gf wanted to get married and have kids and it wasnt scary to either of us just like im sure it wasnt for you. We both loved with our complete hearts but ended up being broken up with none of the less. If youd like to know more about my situation maybe have a peak at one of my threads.
Im sorry if i cant provide much advice but ill be watching this thread closely. Both you and i deserve to be happy no matter what and i hope for both of us that it is with our ex’s. Be strong and keep up with NC, im sure youll make great strides in your own wellbeing. I know that its hard but itll be worth it in the end. Sometimes its just such a relief to be able to write stuff down and take it off your mind. Maybe try writing down how youre feeling in a journal or something like it. Its very therapeutic. Also talk with your parents! They will always be there for you no matter what. Personally im not very close with mine but i opened up to my mom because i felt like i was in pieces and she really helped me pick myself back up. Plus, chances are they know about heartbreak and have experienced it too so it goes to show that you will get through it just like they did, and become a better person. Youre 2 years older than me and probably a million miles away but i feel like situations like these connect people like you and me and its always healthier to talk about it than to keep it bottled up inside and let it consume you.
I am sorry that you are in the same position as me. It really does suck especially when you have planned out your life so much with someone. But you never really know what the future holds. Our exes may be thinking on it and if it includes us then they will be back in our lives. Sometimes you have to be apart to come back together if it’s meant to be and that’s what I’m praying for. For the longest time I felt it deep in my heart he would be the one. We met in 9th grade and he he told me for years he has felt that way about me and I’ve felt the same, just wasn’t ready and then we finally got together and it seemed like it would last. As much as I would like to know what he is doing, I am giving it time and focusing on myself during the NC. You should do the same, you seem like a really get person and giving it sometime between you and you ex will be good until you are both ready to talk. I thought about writing in a journal and that’s what I’m going to start doing. You have helped in some way and I appreciate it. I’m not an expert but I am here if you need help too. I have talked with my mom and she has helped me out as well. I’m just hoping that I am doing everything right to making my ex fall in love with me again. I don’t believe my heart is lying to me when I really do feel like he is the one I want a future with. I’m glad that I found this and can have people to talk to because talking helps me feel better and it’s always good to get advice. I know both of us are still young and heve much to learn but that doesn’t mean we can’t go for what we believe is right. Just stay strong and hang in there as well.
Sorry i havent responded, ive just been away collecting my thoughts. Its coming up on 1 month since my ex and i have broken up. Ive been reading alot into forgiveness and learning how to restart contact with my ex. Hopefully ill be ready to start texting her soon. And hopefully it works haha im not getting my hopes up too much because ive started to sort of move on but the more i think about it the more im sure she is right for me. Even if things dont work out now, in the long run after university or college is over i hope we can reunite and start our lives together. It pretty crazy that feelings like this exist haha and even though we both got so hurt by this break up i think it was all worth it and i think she is worth it
It’s alright. I totally understand and it’s good that you are taking time on yourself to get right. I have been doing the same and I understand. It’s been a little over a month now since my breakup too. And during this time I have been learning things as well, about myself and understanding relationships a little better. Just remember to stay positive no matter what and be happy. I am doing the same and there may be chances for us that our exes will want a new start. Whether its sooner or later in life. You’ll never know. And trust me I know what you are feeling, I have kinda move on but I feel it deep in my heart that he is the one. It really is crazy how we humans feel but it’s life. I’m glad to hear you being positive now and thats what you need, me too. Just remember you are worth it well. I know mines is worth it and I have no clue how he really feels about the breakup but when I start contact again, I’m praying things go really well and we will be reunited. I’m kinda nervous but confident because I’m 3 days left in no contact and I’ve been preparing myself hard. Knowing what right things to say and using a positive attitude
One thing ive been doing alot lately is listening to podcasts about stuff that might correlate to my relationship. If youd like i can tell you the ones ive listened too
I’ve also been listening to podcasts as well that relates to my situation and ones that can be helpful in the future. I would be glad to hear about what you listened to!
All of those sound really interesting and I will have to check them out! I’ve been listening to some podcasts from Chris himself on basically everything from his book(which I actually was able to buy and it is a good read)
I actually finish no contact today and contacted my ex and got a really positive respond! i used a memory as my first contact messaged and he seemed happy from it, or just friendly. Either way I’m hoping things work out in the end!
I talked with my ex yesterday! I did the same. It was a memory about us skating together and her crazy laces she had ? She also replied pretty positive and up beat. Or maybe just friendly i don’t know haha she asked me how I was doing and I said I was doing good, then I ended the conversation just so I didn’t over do it or put a lot of pressure on the talk. Hopefully it also gets her to start thinking of me and missing me more too
Is the podcast called “Chris himself” or something else? I wouldn’t mind giving it a try!
That’s good! I’m glad you got to speak to her and have a short positice coversation! Hopefully it works out. I’m hoping the same for me too. Our talk went really well. I mention a funny conversation we had over coffee drinks as the memory and told him I tried one of his favorite drinks for the first time and really enjoyed and he seemed happy to hear that and used a smiley face, which it’s been a long time since I’ve seen that from him. I ended the comversarikn after he replied and he sent a text with another smiling face and I haven’t talked to him since then. Today is where I’m going to continue and see how well we move along. I’m feeling really confident and positive!
Honestly I was just listening to random podcast Chris has on the website like what not to text you ex and how to get an ex back in a long distance relationshop(which is helpful to me since I was in one with him) I listened so many I can’t even remember some of the titles lol
Haha it almost seems like we are twins in the way of where we are in our situations! I’m planning on texting my ex gf tomorrow and your doing it today and we both got positive responses when we texted them the first time! Although I didn’t get a smiley face like you did I got a laugh atleast!
Which website are you talking about with the podcasts? I’m not sure who chris is haha and my relationship was partly long distance too so I think I’ll try and listen to the podcasts you’re talking about!
I actually a bit sad now because I texted him earlier today and he didn’t say anything back. I think he is ignoring me because I can see online on his phone on this game thing we both have. I was positive and cheerful so idk why he is ignoring me. It’s making me start to worry a bit now. He responded so happy to my first text then comes today and I get nothing. I don’t know what to do now. Let me know how well it goes with your ex ^.^
It’s on this website lol and Chris it the guy who made this website
He is probably just confused about how he is feeling right now. Since you 2 havent talked in so long he just might be surprised to see your name pop up and be a bit overwhelmed with the emotions associated with you. Make sure to take a deep breath mari.
Your next step: Wait a couple days and try again with a happy memory text. Make sure to not freak out, its gonna be ok! Make sure not to send any other texts right now though. With him being possibly overwhelmed right now it might push him away if he gets more texts
I totally thought kevin was the name of the guy who made this website! Oops! Thats why i was confused i guess haha
I don’t know what he feels:( it just feels like he really doesn’t care for me anymore and everything I worked on feels like its falling apart. No respond at all and it hurts but I see him online with his phone. I don’t see how he seemed happy on Friday but now nothing. It’s so hard to understand how he really feels for me. I’m trying to stay calm but it hurts.
I haven’t sent anything else and I can give it a few more days, I just want us to be happy and work out the relationship. It’s more than just me loving him and everything. I used a happy memory so now I’m scared I’ll still get nothing if I try again.
Wait now I’m confused lol Kevin, Chris, I’m not sure, I know Chris was the name for the podcast
I know it’s scary but trust me, he is probably just overwhelmed right now stay strong for these next couple days until your next message but maybe this time make it a little mini compliment. Like for tomorrow I know my ex is having a horse competition coming up soon so I was planning on sending her “hey I remembered that your horse show is coming up soon. Good luck, I know you’ll do great. You’re such a determined person”
See, instead of a happy memory it’s just switching it up a little but still having the same effect
Where did you find the podcast? I can’t find it on this website
Okay I will try my best, I just don’t want anything to go bad or in the wrong direction. I guess I can try a little nice compliment this time and see if he responds. Awe that sounds really sweet to say to her. Have you already talked to her?
Honestly I got email links to them and opened them other and just found others. I’m nor sure exactly where to go on the website to find them sorry! I found them through my email