INTRO
I’m 23.5, ex is 21.
My ex girlfriend and I (same-sex relationship) met on an online dating site. After 4 months and some complications (she dropped out of college in my city and went to another one which is 180kms far), I decided to visit her there and we started our long distance relationship.
Long story short, she broke up with me on April 21st, I told her ‘okay, I respect your decision, I’m gonna go now’. I actually got into NC without knowing it. She sends me a message 2 days after asking me how I was, how she made a mistake so we got back together.
Second breakup was on May 21st. We both decided that was the best thing to do - I was insecure, didn’t trust her (she gave me reasons not to trust her by saying how she will do all these things but never ended doing them), she was f**** up because of her parents’ divorce etc., a lot of reasons.
Talked for a week when I decided to stop all that because she indirectly told me she doesn’t want to come to my city because the priority is to go to another city for a music festival so yeah.
I sent her a text a week after that, she was cold and distant. On June 19th, I ask her can we see each other one last time, she says she doesn’t want to, she would be bored… she also said she put up her emotional walls once again (removed them for me) and she won’t remove them ever again for no one, and also “I don’t need anyone’s love”.
Then I decided I won’t be her puppy (I never offended her, everything I said about her bad sides was because I wanted her to work on herself, for example I told her how she constantly talks about losing weight and training and then eats 2 f****** pineapples a day… and never hits the gym). When I say I’m gonna do something, I’m gonna do it.
NC
I went NC after that texting on June 19th.
Today is day 35.
I have regained my self-confidence, started going out more, finishing my college (she passed 0 EXAMS on her new college, she is very lazy and used to getting everything she wants, grew up in a very rich family), lost a couple of pounds, feeling good… damn, I’m gonna be a doctor in 10 months. I’m young, healthy, good looking, good friends, family that supports me (and knows I’m gay)…
On the other hand, she is 21, really put on a lot of weight past couple of months (around 33 pounds), going nowhere with her college, pretty asocial so doesn’t go out much, her family would kill her if they ever found out she was gay BUT she has a lot of money haha. She really is a good person but doesn’t know what to do with her life, very lazy.
I re-read our messages around breakup and until I started NC. I cried but it helped me give emotional closure. I once again realized I was full of love, supportive, honest etc. towards her. I did nothing wrong.
REBOUND
2 weeks ago I found out my ex has a new girlfriend. The girl is completely opposite of me - alternative looks, piercings, anime style, doesn’t go to college (unlike me, future med), writes a blog, posts pics on instagram everyday.
So anyway, I made a bet with my best friend. My decision is to do NC for 90 days, which will be around September 20, and he said that they will most definitely break up until then, and my bet is that they won’t (because my ex will do everything in her power to make this work because she is insecure and this is a good chance - a girl in her city, unlike me - long distance).
This has all the classic signs of a rebound - new gf is completely opposite of me, rushing into relationship (less than 2 weeks), over-the-top ‘I miss you’ and pictures and all that ****.
But you know what the best part is? The girl probably isn’t even gay! Hahaha. Sorry, I may sound mean but this **** is hilarious.
I was thinking how I maybe want her to contact me, like she realized what she lost but it probably won’t happen any soon because of this new girl. I know I am doing the right thing here, not her. She jumped into a new relationship when she already has emotional problems, and I am here dealing with my emotions in a way to HEAL not RUN from them. She maybe won the battle but I will win the war.
YESTERDAY:
When I started the NC, I blocked her everywhere (dating site where we met, facebook, whatsapp). I also blocked her new girlfriend on that dating site which also has a forum (they put that they are in a relationship with each other).
Blocking her was a great move because it helps me heal faster. I have friends on that site, and one of them sent me a screenshot how my ex in a thread called “I want to tell you…” wrote “I can’t believe that you are still blocking me.”
Well, that was stupid because I can’t see her posts but maybe she though how my friends will probably see it and show me. I just started laughing.
Why is she doing this? Why is she thinking and posting about me when she’s so busy with her new gf?