Is there still a chance

reconciliation
1

Hi Everyone

So this is my situation with my ex it’s kinda a long one ? so we had been together for just over a year and a half and thing were going well the first 6 months and then the got a job to go the states and work and earn good money and I was very supportive of it obviously I’m not going to stop him from grabbing a good opportunity. He was away for 8 months. The first 2 or so months were a bit tough we argued a bit because it was difficult but things got easier and were amazing and we were 100% happy and talking about moving in and went to look at places when he got back him in December. Then I found out that he cheated on me in the states during those first two months where we were having issues he said it’s because she gave him attention instead of the arguing we were doing but realized his mistake and never spoke to her again after that and worked on us because he didn’t want to loose me. So when I found out I was obviously very angry and hurt and I said I needed space and he said he really doesn’t want to loose me and wants to work on things even though he knows I need to time and that things will take time to heal and won’t necessarily be the same as before.
Then about.a month ago he broke up with me saying he just wasn’t happy anymore and we caught quite a lot because I didn’t feel like I was important to him anymore and I had my insecurities that maybe he is lying I mean the trust was kind of broken ?‍♀️ but then 3 days later he came back asking if we could just take a 2 week break to see if this is the right call because he think he made the decision out of anger so we took 2 weeks and he was more inlove with me than ever he said he felt free and he felt like he found himself again and he couldn’t see life without me. Then two days ago I asked him to come and see me because I hadn’t seen him all week and he said he would make a plan and when I asked again he said why does he need to see me all the time. Then he came over and broke things off again saying he just wasn’t happy anymore and he doesn’t see a future with me and that he isn’t as invested as I am and that I deserve someone better than him someone that wants to see me all the time and talk to me… because when he sees me phoning he wants to throw the phone and when he sees a text he doesn’t want to reply and that isn’t fair when I am putting a 150% and he is only putting in 50% and that something in him is lost and he doesn’t know how to get it back and he has tried but he doesn’t know how to try anymore… he says he still loves me so much and he always will so is there a way to show him that we can work on things and fix them even when he says he doesn’t want to? Or should I just walk away? Or give him space and see what happens. I honestly stillsee a future with him I have no doubt in my mind that we are meant to be together

2

@Sum12 You wrote:“…I asked again he said why does he need to see me all the time.” All the time? It seems he might think you’re too needy/desperate/smothering! Men don’t like to be in a relationship with a clingy woman. I think you should give him space with no contact for at least a month and by doing so, it will give him time to reconsider.

PS: Men hate arguing!

Good luck:)

3

@patricia12
I see you have a lot experience, i tried to create my own thread, but no response from the admin to approve it, can you help please, i really need an advice

  • a relationship of 3 years, all 3 years lived together
  • went to another country for a better future
  • always talked about the future, marriage, children, wedding, etc.
  • I’d be able to relax more than once and not give her attention and passion to the relationship because I really believed she was the one
  • She was freaking out about it and saying all the time that she misses it.
  • after that, I’d get better, but like I said, I believed she was the one, and i’d relax again after a while.
  • she broke up because she’s afraid I’m going to stay like that way in the marriage.
  • I’ve always been there for her and she knows I’m a very good guy, and she said that herself and that maybe she’ll regret it one day because of that decision.
  • she don’t say anything bad about me to other people because she knows I’ve been very good, she say all good about me
  • in the last conversation, she said that she still loves me, that she misses me and that she misses all our things and that she has to think about herself right now and that she wants to be a friend and that I can always call her for coffee or a walk
  • now we live separately and there has been no contact for a month except congratulations for birthday and Easter
  • the current situation is very difficult for me, I wonder if she’s thinking about me and if she might want to reconnect and she doesn’t know how because I told her that once I break up, I don’t want to go back.
  • I am 30 years old, she 25

When she broke up, we still lived together for a half month and traveled together to work, i was sleeping on the couch, after that half month i moved in another house, and the no contact rule started from the 28.3, the 5.4 i texted her just happy birthday she responded by thanks, and after that she texted me happy easter, i responded as well you too, thats it, whats the next step?