I don’t expect anyone to actually respond, but I’m hoping that people in a similar situation may be able to help me. My girlfriend broke up with me on December 3, 2018. Prior to dating her I had a history of drug addiction. Our relationship was full of love, laughter, and happiness. Last year I started my first year at graduate school. The stress during this time period became overwhelming and the drug cravings started to come back. I was open and honest about my struggles, but I realize now that it was too much for her to handle at the time. She asked for a break to allow me time to figure things out. This was for the span of a week. Having immense anxiety that I was going to lose her I couldn’t help but contact her. I told her that I was struggling and that I was going to relapse after over a year sober. During this time she told me that she thought we shouldn’t be together anymore. I tried not to think about it too much thinking we could work it out. Overcome the hurdle. She was convinced that I was only sober for her. She wanted me to find happiness within myself and not rely on a future with someone to be sober. I should have taken more responsibility over my addiction, but now it seems like it is too late. When she broke up with me I didn’t beg or plead. I sent her a message asking if there was any chance of reconciliation in the future, but I wasn’t given a definitive answer. Shortly after she deleted her Facebook account. As difficult as it was I entered a period of no contact for a period of about 2 months. I sent her a light-hearted picture of something that reminded me her. She asked me if “we should be doing this right now”. She told me that she needed some space before we could work on being friends. At the beginning of our relationship it was very romantically driven. Out of respect for her I haven’t contacted her since. It’s been a total of 4 months now that I haven’t heard from her. She is still in touch occasionally with my mother and my brother’s girlfriend. I’ve been doing my best to work on myself and stay busy with school work. While I’ve been passively attempting to date online (which is almost impossible) I still think about her often. I’m still in love with her and I am hoping with all my being there is still some chance for us. I heard thought the grapevine she is not focusing on relationships right now. She is planning on moving out of the states within a year to pursue career goals of which I’m really happy for her. Is there anything I can do at this point except indirectly wait and hope she reaches out to me? I want to write her a letter telling her how much she still means to me and explain that I recognize what went wrong. I am willing to do whatever it takes to fix what went wrong. I honestly don’t know what to do at this point. I’ve done everything I am supposed to do. Distance helps the heart grow fonder. Problem is I feel like she is using this time to rid of me from her life forever. Will the mistake from my past be present through the rest of my life? I can’t help but notice it every time I lie down in bed and notice she is no longer there. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.
I think the letter is a good idea. Post it on here before you send it.
Thanks for the advice gamecoder! I really appreciate it. I’ll post the letter on here prior to sending it.