Hi,
Below is my story. I’m sorry for my English - I am from Italy:)
I am 23, he 24. We met 5 months ago and He was fresh after break up (about 2 weeks). He was in a relationship for about 1.5 year but it was toxic, the girl was controlling him and they fight A lot. They were living together also. Then he decided to finish this and moved to another city (about 300km away). He was very opened at me from the beginning. He told me about już private things, family etc In first week of our relation. We went for holidays together after 2 weeks of knowing each other. It was really lovely. He keeps writing to his ex all this time, he told me they are friends, and I didn’t have anything against it. Then when we come back from holidays he starts asking me questions like if I am him etc… finally he asked if we are offically together. So we were. It was really awesome, we didn’t fight for anything, we had Great connection and understand each other without any words. It was also awesome on bed. And suddenly, once he asked me to take things slow. I asked what does it mean, he said it will be better if we will be not together at this moment, his ex tried to commit A suicide and he is not at The best place at The moment. He went to her City and spent there few Days. He still keeps writing to me but very rare (1-2 messages per day). After about 2 weeks, he told he miss me and asked me out for a drink. I Saw at his ex Facebook that she moved to him and they are in relationship again. I met with him though. Then he starts saying that I am awesome girl and he made a huge mistake he broke up with me. He started begging me for next chance. I told I saw on fb his ex has a relationship with him but he said he didn’t have any contact with her. Obviously he lied. We come back to each other but next day I come back to his place… and he told me the truth that they wanted to tried again but he is not happy with her and she is leaving tomorrow to her town (she wasn’t at the apartment this time but all her bags was packed). I forgive him and he were together again for about 1.5 month. It was really good between us. He wanted get to know my parents and he did, he even wanted I live with him at his place but it was too early for me. Everything was really greag and Then without any reason he started to push me away, he starts to become very jealous, didn’t want to meet so often… he has some issues with his mental health, he take some medications like xanax. I don’t know if that was the case but something has definitely changed. It was one evening when we broke up again. It was Saturday night and he don’t want to meet despite we havent seen with each other all week. Then at night he starts to write me he miss me etc but I was peaced and sad and ignored his messages. In the morning I saw he wrote me he can’t be with someone who is ignoring him like me, he is sure I m out now somewhere with some guys and don’t give a shit about him. He blocked me and we havent contacted for few days. Then he texted me and we decided to be friends. After about week we meet. He told me he met some girl but he feels like she treated him like a sponsor… what is the best, she has already broke up with her bf and she moved to my ex!
Anyway We spend some time together and then he asked me if I feel this connection between us… He said he truly love me and love what we have built . But he don’t want me to meet with some other guys coz it makes him go crazy and I am his. As I really love him I forgive him this all and we were back together. The day after was the new year. We were supposed to spend it on the party together but he told me he has some work to do and I should go and have fun on my own and Maybe he will join me later. I was really sad because I felt pushed away again… I come to his place, we were spending time together and suddenly my by friend texted me… and he wanted to saw messages. I told him it is sick but he manipulated me and told if I don’t have anything to hide I should show it. So I did… hmm it was my old friend and we were flirting with each other a bit… He gets peaced and told we can be friends nothing more. That he doeasn’trust me anymore. I went home about 3 in the morning crying… He go out party. Then he called me at 5 am saying this guy is a bitch and lucky he is not living in this town. He run to my place and I started begging him to come back to me… but he said he can’t be with me because he will go crazy, he is too jealous. But he need me and we should be friends. As I AM attracted to him a lot, I prppspe to be friends with benefits… He agreed. Since that time he keeps writing to me everyday and call me but he don’t have time or don’t want to meet. He proposed meeting at Friday night but as it was last time (He wrote about at 8pm) I had already plans so I prospoe maybe later I will come to him but he refused. On Saturday I wrote that I want him but no reply all night…
I don’t know what to do and obviously the friends with benefits relation wasn’t good idea as I have feelings for him… I don’t know how to turn things around. I want to be with him, I really love him. What do you think? Maybe I should use no contact rule so he miss me and change his behaviour? To be honest I don’t know anymore if I was just a you for him or he treats me serious. If he really loved me he wouldn’t leave me…
Thank you in advance for your advices.
Best?,
Nathalia