I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 5 months and everything was amazing! However she is moving in around 2 months and she broke up with me because she didn’t want to drag on the relationship. I know the feelings were mutual and I have started no contact. When she moves I would be able to see her for around once a week and she said her reason as things would be different as I won’t be able to FaceTime you as much as we did before and talk as much etc. Before no contact she texted me and said when your ok we can work on being friends. What do I say to this after no contact (and how do I stay out of the friend zone with her) and what do you rate my chances of getting her back?
@webby118 How far away from you is she moving? I don’t understand - why wouldn’t you two be able to FaceTime? Is she going to be busy with college studies or something else??
Apparently she doesn’t want a relationship anymore, but I’m not understanding the reasons. Actually 5 months is a very short time, but long enough for someone to decide whether or not to stay in a relationship. You can’t talk her into wanting to reconcile… Depending on the real reasons she broke up with you and what you can do about it, will decide if you have a chance or not. Without any more detail, I can’t rate your chances…
After no contact, maybe ask her to be more specific about why she broke up with you.
@patricial12 thanks for your reply!
sorry about my confusing story!
we met before the whole covid pandemic through school and due to school being cancelled we were able to talk on social media a lot and facetime lots throughout each day. she lives roughly an hour away from me so i had been seeing her maybe twice a week.
In september she is moving schools and due to her boarding she will only be home maybe every other weekend. Her new school is a bit further away (maybe an hour and half from me?). currently at my school we finish at around 5:30 so seeing her after school wouldnt really be possible as she would be at her school and it would be too late midweek so the only real chance i would be able to see her would be at weekends. However i believed that if i put the effort in to come see her it wouldve worked!
The other reason is that she said that things would different when she moves school as we had got to know eachother by talking so much as we had so much free time and when she moves she will not be able to talk as much and it wouldnt work. However i feel this is just an excuse.
At first when she broke up she was hesitant in saying the reasons behind it however i wanted to know the real reasons and i asked and she said that we wouldnt be able to see enough of eachother and we wouldnt be able to talk enough and as she started to think about it she lost feelings. However i genuinly believe that we still had the whole summer holidays left and even when she went back to school we would still be able to text etc and even if i saw her maybe once a week during term time there would be christmas holidays etc where i would be able to see her loads more! after reading this article i decided to do no contact to see if she changes her mind but what are your thoughts on this and do you think that it couldve worked?]
the thing that really confused me was that the day before this happened our relationship was the best it had ever been and i could tell she had feelings for me! and this all happened in the space of maybe 3 days?
@webby118 How old are both of you? I think your chances might be 50/50… Next month (in August) maybe ask to see her a couple of times before she leaves for school in September. You could tell her you’re willing to go visit her about every 2 weeks after she moves away and all you said about holiday visits too. A phone call occasionally would be very nice too!
But the main thing is DON’T BEG or act needy. Just calmly state your thoughts and let her know she means a lot to you…
@patricia12
That’s what my plan is at the moment. But it really means a lot to talk to someone! I’ve just read your situation! And I’m sorry about everything you went through! I know this is only 5 months and other people’s situations are much deeper so thank you for replying to me it means a lot!
My only concern is that when I last spoke to her she said “we can work on being friends” and because of it not being a long relationship I’m not too sure how to stay out of the friend zone? Do you think it’s a good idea to say that I only see us in a relationship sort of way or would it be best to say yes to her friendship offer and progress from there?
And we are both 18 
@webby118 My boyfriend and I have been back together 4 1/2 years:)
Although we didn’t call it a “friendship”, we remained cordial toward each other and discussed our issues via email and phone calls. We both missed each other a lot and both wanted to reconcile, so it worked out great after about 4 months of communications.
I suggest you don’t give her an ultimatum just yet, but continue to talk at least for a while… There might come a time when you realize she doesn’t want to reunite and then you could give her an ultimatum, but for now stay on friendly terms.
When she goes off to school, she might start to miss you more and more and then reconsider her decision to break up…
Good luck:)
@patricia12
wow! sorry i didnt read through all the chats on the forum! congratulations!!! im so happy for you! i hope everything works out perfectly between you as im sure your a lot happier your with him again!
thank you ever so much for talking to me its made me feel a lot better about the whole situation!
i think i will just have to wait and see what happens not sure quite what to do if she asks to be friends but im sure i will figure it out!
@webby118 You’re welcome and I’m glad you feel better about your situation. Just go slowly when you re-connect and don’t push/confront her on getting back into a relationship. You don’t have to be so concerned about the “friend” word, just stay on friendly terms for a while. It’s possible you could re-ignite the spark by being yourself IE: saying and doing the things that attracted her to you in the beginning. If after a reasonable period of time she remains adamant about just being a friend, you could, as a last resort, give her an ultimatum and let her know you want more than friendship or you will be done… She might think it over and fear losing you or she might reject your offer, at which time you will have no choice but to walk away or accept a friendship.
Wishing you the very best, no matter what happens:)
PS: Thank you for the congratulations and yes, we are very happy together…