I just got out of a 4 month relationship with my girlfriend. I was the one who broke up with her “officially”, but she was hinting towards a break up for several weeks already (i.e. she took much longer to reply to my messages, she was not putting in any effort to meet up and she doesn’t sound that excited anymore when I was arranging a meetup, etc…). I guess I was too blinded by my feeling so I ignored all the first signs, but when she deleted a picture of us on Instagram last week, it was the ultimate sign for me. I suddenly realized that if I don’t break up with her, she will eventually break up with me.
I told her that I actually didn’t want to end this, but that there wouldn’t be any reason for us to be together when she wasn’t feeling the same for me anymore. She didn’t say much, didn’t even give me eye contact (which she never did when having a discussion btw…) but she did cry… And just when I was about to go out, she admitted that her feelings for me were fading away and that she just wanted to be single again. I said that I understand and that I respect that. Gave her a hug and a last kiss before we parted.
Now… the next morning, I noticed that she changed her Whatsapp profile picture. She used to have a picture of herself for the last three weeks until the break up, but nowshe changed it back into one of our very first picture together as a couple. Not only that, she changed her Instagram avatar into a text saying “She lost herself in the sadness”. What in the world?! She even put a “dog”-emoji hashtag on one of her food picture which she took when we went out for dinner. Now this emoji-thing might sound stupid, but when we are texting on Whatsapp, she often pings me with the dog-emoji, while I would use the ”pig”-emoji to ping her. That’s why I am positive that she is referring to me with that hashtag. The thing is, that hashtag was never there before the breakup…!
We broke up four days ago and I am applying the No contact Rule, but she has already send me a text message two days ago asking me if I was okay. I replied very casually but I didn’t carry on the conversation.
I was really mentally prepared to move on with my life since I have got some experience on this already, but I have a feeling that she is trying to send me a message or something with these “things” on Instagram and Whatsapp. Is she regretting the breakup? Is she feeling guilty for any reason? Honestly speaking, I still want to be with her, but I don’t know what to think or do anymore. Also, note that I am 30 and she is 20… I hope anyone can give me their honest opinion
Here’s a little update: I was doing the NC only to find out that she deleted me from Instagram and unfriended me from Facebook earlier today. Guess this is game over for good…?
It seems as she might be playing hard to get, she came after you and you were in the NC phase so she is trying to hurt your or get under your skin. I would not still contact her for a bit I bet after a while she will contact you again.
Thx. I am on day 10 of NC but it’s hard for me not to check her Instagram every now and then :(. Two days ago she uploaded another picture with the comment “EVERYTHING WAS A LIE…”. I don’t know why but I have a feeling it was meant for me as her account isn’t private (it was on private right after she unfollowed me). I want to confront her about it, but then again, it might be something else…
My story shares some resemblence to yours. Honestly, I think his girl like mine isn’t emmotionally mature enough to have a relationship! Hard and confusing as I’m still finding out but there’s nothibgr you can do.
I have to say that she is somewhat immature and inexperienced in certain circumstances. When discussing a problem, she doesn’t know how to handle herself and instead she would just stay quiet and sulk, like a little child. In that perspective, I don’t know if the NC would push her further away more than anything else…
The main advantage you have is that you ended on reasonably good terms. Mature conversation which led to the truth. Even if she didn’t look you in the eye in serious conversations (I had that too)
On the flip side it seems like you hurt her ego because you’re the one who initiated it. That in my opinion is why she’s actig so strange - not that she regrets what happened. It’s all my opinion of course and I’m no guru!
However, I too had signs in the few weeks before that a break up was on the cards. Planned dates cancelled and she was annoyed when I told her I was disappointed, change in the way she texted and the general spark had gone. Instead of talking to my ex like you did I backed off because she had a new job but the reality was had I had your experience I should’ve made the first move and talked about it.
Speaking to an older female friend she said that girls in there early 20s simply don’t know what they want. She told me she’s done the same thing, jumped out of a perfectly good relationship as the honeymoon phase started drawing to a close. Simply all we as men can do is move forward and find something better.
The savings grace may be is if the relationship was good your ex may come back - I’ve been warned about this by a few people. But speaking from experience continue NC and keeping moving forward. There’s probably someone a lot better out there for you
Thx for your opinion and advice. I guess I’ll stick to NC a little while longer then. I have been keeping myself busy every day and I’m feeling quite good. Just can’t help but thinking about her when I have some free time left