Its been almost 4 months since the break up and its been this up and down rollercoater with her, things seem like they are going in the right direction then she starts to distant herself. Even though I can say I still have feelings for her recently I just gave up and maybe lost interest and stopped contacting her because I didn’t feel it was going anywhere.
It was maybe a week or week an half of no contact so then out of the blue she starts to text and call me a few days in a row where its not just like hi but where its a full conversation I show her attention then she starts to distant herself again.
Is she playing with me? I feel like theres some interest but maybe im misinterpreting it with me maybe being in the friend zone?
I always blow my game plan but I dont plan on contacting her if she does contact me I plan on not responding for a while and just being short with her. I stop contacting her and she reaches out to me, I respond and I show im interested then she distant herself. Maybe Im coming off too aggressive and I scare her away but I dont know sometimes I feel like just asking her whats the deal between us and If i dont stand a chance ill leave her alone and not waste my time.
By the way I am seeing other girls right now, I would like it to work with the ex but im not stuck on the idea. I’m looking elsewhere and if something good that I like comes I will move on.
My ex did the same thing. Go NC. Do not respond at all. The push/pull behavior will only be snuffed out if you take the right approach. Let her know you arent going to be there just for her temporary comfort.
@labound Did a second round of NC help fix that for you? I got to stick to my game plan if she ever contacts me I wont fall for her and giving her the attention. Im not going to go out of my way at all. I just need to keep that in my head and sometimes I run into her at the gym so Im doing my best to avoid her too. To be honest this last time I avoided her had no contact whatsoever for over a week felt great then what happens she contacts me via text and I reply to her and I get the feeling that she is like “yes I still got him” then I feel stupid.
My ex did the same thing. It’s not always that an ex wants to string you along. Sometimes they’re as confused and hurting too.
I did two weeks worth of NC, 4 times. Lol then, she was putting me through the push/pull behavior and I asked her straight up to date me. We had a 4hr long and beautiful conversation the night before and I thought I could make a move in my favor. It didnt go well. She was already dating someone else. So, I told her Im completely done and Im moving on. And to not contact me. She said she respects my request. I avoided responding for a little over two months. She started hitting me up a lot, and has been trying to convince me to start over with her the past 4 or so days.
Moral of the story. . . Work on yourself and dont kiss her ass. Let her really miss what she had with you. Let her forget why she left you. And be brand new when you present yourself to her when you are ready. Stay strong.
@labound thanks for the advise I agree with you. I’m doing my NC again and to be honest its only been a few days I feel good as the days pass that I have no contact with her. Im not going to lie but I do have feelings for her and also being honest with myself if I havent been able to get her back and not even have much success why Im I wasting my time. Keeping contact with her all it does is screw me up because those feelings start to comeback and once she goes distant Its like starting over again. Thats why i feel like she could be just messing with me, maybe theres feelings still there or maybe she is seeing someone else but she is the only one that knows why. SHe has initates the contact when I stop talking to her so its not like im the one doing NC and then present myself to her.
She could be conflicted with her feelings. So NC can help her and you.
It’s important to get the control. So if she reaches out, stay strong and ignore it. Ignore her attempts for a long time. Keep yourself busy with positive things in the meantime.
If she presses relentlessly for an explanation, just say you need space and time. That you have a lot going on right now, and will reach out to her when you are ready. And continue to ignore her attempts.
I ran into her yesterday by surprised and we talked for a bit but I kept it cool kinda let her do most of the talking and just B.S with her, she seemed excited to see me. She has tried to text me since and I haven’t ignored her but Ive changed the way I would reply back to her. Ive kept it short and was cool with her but have just left it at that and I haven’t done any of the contacting myself. But I’m still holding strong doing my thing.
Thats usually what I get from her then I initiate contact and we go back forth for a few days and boom next thing you know she goes distant but I’m going to hold myself to my word and not give in this time.