My ex and I have been together for 1.5 years. We have broken up for 5 months now. We broke up due to him cheating on me. It was a one time incident while we were having massive arguments. A week after the breakup, we constantly met and talked about the cheating. It was sad. I wanted to make things work and he said he needed space to figure things out and I didn’t give him that. At first there was the incessant texting and calling. He stopped replying to me. Then I spent the next 4 months begging and pleading. I showed up at his house and work unannounced. I hacked into his facebook. He gave me his password. I am deeply ashamed of that. There’s no excuse for my behaviour.
I went into NC for 24 days and send my first text saying I am sorry for hurting you and wishing him luck for his upcoming show. He replied a few hours later, was distant and wished me well and also told me that he and his family might be at a place that week. I told him not to worry and that he wouldn’t see me there and wish him well. And today, I texted him to ask him if his family hates me. He said no and I wished him well again. I apologise in an attempt to remove any roadblocks.
He moved in with his family after the break up, lost his job, went into therapy and now is getting a life again. I am happy for him that he is in a better place. I also have a feeling that he has moved on.
I realised during NC about how my low self esteem and trust issues derailed the relationship and had started work on myself. I would still like to be with him but I don’t know if it is hopeless or what should I do.