Is my situation hopeless?

My ex and I have been together for 1.5 years. We have broken up for 5 months now. We broke up due to him cheating on me. It was a one time incident while we were having massive arguments. A week after the breakup, we constantly met and talked about the cheating. It was sad. I wanted to make things work and he said he needed space to figure things out and I didn’t give him that. At first there was the incessant texting and calling. He stopped replying to me. Then I spent the next 4 months begging and pleading. I showed up at his house and work unannounced. I hacked into his facebook. He gave me his password. I am deeply ashamed of that. There’s no excuse for my behaviour.

I went into NC for 24 days and send my first text saying I am sorry for hurting you and wishing him luck for his upcoming show. He replied a few hours later, was distant and wished me well and also told me that he and his family might be at a place that week. I told him not to worry and that he wouldn’t see me there and wish him well. And today, I texted him to ask him if his family hates me. He said no and I wished him well again. I apologise in an attempt to remove any roadblocks.

He moved in with his family after the break up, lost his job, went into therapy and now is getting a life again. I am happy for him that he is in a better place. I also have a feeling that he has moved on.

I realised during NC about how my low self esteem and trust issues derailed the relationship and had started work on myself. I would still like to be with him but I don’t know if it is hopeless or what should I do.

He cheated on you during the relationship and it’s understandable how hurt you must have been and why you lost trust. This would have been enough for most people to run and never look back, but he was the one to break up with you. Right now he probably has bad memories of you bombarding him with texts and calls after he asked you for space. You apologized. It’s nice he’s getting his life straightened out, but hard to say if he’s moved on or not. For now, it’s probably better that you don’t contact him again for at least 30 days and if or when you do, be casual and don’t mention the break up or any negative stuff at that time. Glad to hear you’re working on self improvements and keep up the good work. Time will tell if he wants to renew the relationship, but if he does, you have to be able to see improvements in him too, otherwise it won’t work out. Wishing you the best…

Actually I broke with him. And after that, I wanted to give it another try and he was open to it but needed space and I constantly harassing him and that was when he broke up with me.

I still think NC for 30 days or more would be appropriate.
I know it will be difficult, but you can do it. Good luck

Im in a very similar situation. Drop off again for awhile. He was willing to respond. Now back off. Otherwise your situation will get worse

Thank you for the reply. I read the book and I suppose I am at the death’s door stage now

Thank you berchta! It feels me with hope.