A brief history on my relationship…
We started dating and within a week became exclusive. At first everything was perfect. I had never been with someone who was as compatible and had similar interests as me. But there was always something that stopped me from being able to totally commit myself to my gf. I never was able to know what. After about a year, I took a long trip out of the country for 4 months and I told her we had to break up. About halfway through the trip we got back together. I came home and things were great again. I still had the feeling that something was missing. I was caught texting another girl which broke our trust together. And honestly I had no intention on cheating on my gf but only did it for a cheap thrill. I was an idiot. We broke up for a couple of days then got back together. I broke her trust and small fights started popping up which never really came to an agreement. She kept bringing up the same arguments, which were small and looking back I could have fixed them easily but was too stubborn to lose a fight that I know I didn’t do anything wrong. We also fought about the fact that I couldn’t see myself with her the next year and didn’t want to plan a vacation together that far in advance. She recently went to Europe for school for 6 weeks and broke up with me this time. I immediately tried to get back together before she left but could not convince her. She told me that she was going to be single for the trip and if I still felt the same way when she returned, that we could talk.
She made it clear that she wasn’t going to be talking to me everyday but we actually ended up talking pretty often, texting, video chatting and sending pictures often. She even invited me to come visit her in Europe. It was too expensive so I didn’t. Things looked really promising. About a week before she comes home, she drops off the map and tells me not to talk to her till she gets back. I assume something happened with another guy but don’t know. She came back and still asked for space because she was sad and freaking out about something but she wouldn’t tell me what. I gave her a week to herself and finally called her asking what was going on. She said she didn’t see us having a future together and was very cold and short with me the last 2 weeks.
When we talked I basically begged her to let me stay in her life. (I know, I know). While she was away, I planned and dreamed of how our lives would be different and I saw a future with her. I saw us living together and being better than we ever were. I admit I made many mistakes in the relationship and was stubborn and selfish at times. I do think the relationship is worth saving and would do anything for a second chance.
I have even taking the break up very badly. I just read this blog and broke just about every rule there is. I don’t know if it can be saved… Officially we have been broken up for 2 months and I haven’t seen her since. She’s home now but doesn’t want to make to see me. She’s texted me briefly but it doesn’t look good.
I think she thinks the relationship is too far gone and can’t be saved or that it would just be easier to start over with someone new. She once told me that she thought we were soulmates and I’ve recently started believing That be right. I’m afraid she’s just emotionally shut off from me. The relationship means everything to me and I want to save it at all costs.
I have told her everything I felt about feel like it’s out of my hands now.
Is it too late to use Kevin’s advice? What do you think?
