Is it worth it getting back together?

reconciliation
1

My boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me two weeks ago. It’s been hard on me. This is my first serious break up (I’ve only had flings, and “undefined” things before.

We’ve been dating through a bad time in my life. I was unemployed for quite some time, and had moved to a new area. I know I made mistakes in the relationship, and I was definitely cranky, dumping too much on him, and was co-dependent.

But the entire time, he has been sending me mixed messages. The night before he broke up with me, he sent me a bunch of texts saying he loved me.

The day he broke up with me, it was because I was moping around and not wanting to go to his friend’s party. I called him later, and he told me that he thought we would be better off as friends, though we probably couldn’t stay friends, and that we aren’t as good of a match as he thought. He told me that how I deal with things frustrates him, and being cranky had become the norm for me, lately. I told him that I would work to change that, and he told me didn’t think I could, and that it was just who I was.

We met up the next day, and he said he felt the same way and that we had no relationship. With that, I left and went to my car. He followed me, and hugged me for a really long time.

I texted him after to ask if he had something of mine, but then we were no contact for a week and a half. In between that time, I noticed his online dating profile was up. To be clear, we met online, and yes, I crept on him. His profile was up and modified the day we broke up, with pictures he took for me, and his likes/dislikes were only modified to include things we experienced together (he listed our favorite restaurant, things like that).

I texted him to ask him to get tested, and send me STD test results, because I couldn’t be sure when that profile was reactivated. I did start it off with, “hey, any chance we could be friends?” Not because I want to, but because I thought it might be weird to just demand a new std test. He responded back immediately and asked how I was, but the convo ended there. He agreed to give me his tests next week.

(My boyfriend admitted to a history of cheating in his past relationships, but claimed he did it out of retaliation. He said he didn’t like who he used to be, and had changed.)

Now, we are not speaking. What do you guys think? I deleted him off everything the day we broke up. The reality is, to my knowledge, he was good to me and very caring. His mixed signals and harshness confuse me.

Could there be reconciliation? Is it worth it?

2

First of all, don’t read anything at all into the Facebook stuff. His agreeing to give you the STD results is a courtesy and concern for your health. Your being moody and depressed was probably a very large part of the problem why he broke up with you. Guys want to have a happy loving romantic relationship, not a depressing one. He gave you a big hug at the car because he must genuinely cares about you. He said he loves you, but it’s difficult to ascertain to what degree. Sometimes people just love each other as friends. Maybe he’s online wanting to date someone else and there is nothing you can do about it. Just give it some time and don’t beg to get back together. It’s only worth a reconciliation if you can make each other happy.
Wish you the best…

3

thank you for your post. but if I do want to reconcile (and I’m doing a lot better now. It was based on family issues), how do I go about it?

4

It’s not up to you whether or not to reconcile. It’s his decision. He’s the one who broke up with you … I’m glad you’re doing better, but it takes a while for a depressive mind set to maybe slowly convert to being a happier person in general. You go about it by discussing issues with family and friends (not him) and maybe a therapist if you think it would help. Whatever good advice you receive, follow it to help yourself. Don’t contact your ex because it will make you seem too needy. You already talked on the phone and met him in person. Things are at a stand still now. If you want to wait until he changes his mind, okay, but don’t worry and fret about it. If you want to go out with other guys to have a nice time, do that. But focus on yourself and whatever else will make you happy:)