Me and my girlfriend (lesbian relationship Ex gf is Bi) broke up just over 2 months ago. She was my first love/gf/sexual partner my ex on the other hand has had many sexual partner boys and girls/ I’m her second love and first girlfriend. We were together for just under a year and half. Our relationship was pretty good apart from silly fights here and there. At the end of the relationship things got bad. My confidence (due to anxiety and jealousy) was terrible and we kept fighting and fighting until she broke up with me. Her words were “she knows that we both weren’t happy and that we need to focus on ourselves. Sometimes love isn’t enough and we need to grow within ourself if we have any chance of coming together”. We didn’t speak much in the first week then she asked to hang out and she said “we should try and be friends for now and see if it leads to anything more”. For about 2 weeks I tried not talking to her much with her always being the first to start the convo. It was flirty and we would hang out on every Friday and Saturday. The whole time however she would Be very hot and cold, during the week she would tell me to move on and then when she’s see me on the Friday or Saturday she would say all romantic stuff.
There was a period were her parents went away for about 2 weeks and we hung and a lot. She kept making us hang out in secret to everyone and still kind of does today. During that 2 week period we hung out she said that she wants to be friends and if it’s gets to much for me to say something but then she would say little things like “maybe at the end of the year/I wish we could go to a magically place together just you and me/ I feel like this is a pause not a break blah blah”. I kept asking if we could try again and do a trial period but there was always an excuse. Excuse 1. I need to love myself first 2. There was a issue with me not fully wanting threesomes in the relationship so I agreed to try it and see but nope that still didn’t change her mind 3. She wants to focus on her work right now. Every time I said I’d be willing to do or say things she kept saying “I don’t know I’m sorry, I just can’t give you what you want right now.
However recently, One of her friends that didn’t speak to her during the 2 weeks her parents were away has came Back into her life and since she has my ex has dropped me off and gone cold. She says it’s becuase of work and that she doesn’t want to give me the wrong idea. We hung out last night and it was okay we did sort of have sex. I’m just lost because I barely initiate contact but I have also stupidly said I’m okay with being friends and I would tell her if it’s too much. She said to me on Monday that she doesn’t have feelings anymore but there is still a flirty undertone when we talk in person and sometimes over text, but she has got a lot colder recently than what she was in the first few weeks of us breaking up.
I feel a little awkward around her at times and I get worried that I’m coming across to strong. I feel like I’ve forgotten how to talk to her over text cause I’m putting so much pressure on myself.
I don’t know if it’s too late to do anything or if I continue the friends thing and see.im worries to do NC My ex is the type of person to be out of sight out of mind and it seems like she has other people (guys) she is talking to. Also she normally always is the one who starts the convo or invites me to place. She is known to be a controlling and stubborn person with things having to be on her terms. She also told one of her work friends that maybe it’s time for some penis. I don’t know what to do. I’m worried I’m too far in the friend zone but I also don’t understand how someone can lose and year and a half of feelings in just over 2 months. It feels like she is too far gone at times because she can be so cold and selfish towards me and so loving to her friend who just left her for 2 weeks without saying anything.