Made a kind of similar topic on the No Contact board, but after reading some more of the threads here and seeing such helpful advice from so many people I thought I’d put my story down in a bit more detail and get some outside perspective.
I started dating my ex about a month ago: we met off a dating app and had both not been in any serious relationships for a while. Things began moving pretty surprisingly fast, our second date to get dinner soon became bar hopping around her regular haunts, which soon became me meeting some of her friends, us making out in her apartment’s parking lot, etc. We were soon texting back and forth every day and making plans all the time, seeing each other two or three times a week. I think the first problems arose somewhere here in how fast things were going, as we were making all these future plans early on: shows we would go to together, places to visit, meeting one another’s friends and families, etc.
The last time we hung out things felt weirdly off, like we weren’t on the same wavelength as in most of our prior dates. Perhaps one/both of us were tired from work, had too many drinks, or something else entirely, but there was something weird enough about that night that resonated into the next day despite nothing significant happening. The next couple of days we had texted a little bit but I could feel that she wasn’t quite so into the conversation, so after she gave some brief responses to me inviting her to a house party my friend has told me about I decided I’d give her some space over the long weekend while she was with her family.
Come Monday I texted her to casually ask how her weekend had been. A couple hours later she finally responds with a message that was essentially said that she wanted to end things as she wasn’t ready for someone else in her life at this time, and that while she’d had a nice time she just didn’t have the energy for a relationship. There was a brief text conversation after this as I tried to come to terms with what was a very surprising decisions, but in the end I think I left things pretty positively by saying that I would respect her decision, but that I came to care about her during out time together and that if she had second thoughts or wanted to talk I was there.
So that’s what brings us to the present. Since then I haven’t spoken to her, but I’ve been pretty broken up over things despite this having been such a short relationship and us never even being “officially” boyfriend and girlfriend or anything. So what I want your fine opinions on is whether or not I’m being silly by wanting to get back together with this girl? I felt like we had something really good going, and while I understand where she was coming from with her reasoning for breaking up I also suspect that part of it might have been from some combination of us moving too fast for comfort, her having a self-described tendency towards sabotaging herself, and her having had abusive relationships in the past that may cause her to be extremely cautious towards anything new. So while I do believe that there would be benefit and potential in getting back together, I wonder if following the 5 step plan would have much effect on someone I was with for a short while.
Thanks for any input or advice in advance!