I honestly can’t believe that I have fallen into this situation again!!!
Nearly a week ago, he said he was going out and would talk to me later.
I became suspicious, as he would normally tell me his whereabouts.
Then, after a gruelling overnight talk (which I needed to get up for work the next day for, and didn’t at all end up sleeping), I found out he decided to “see” a new person, for the first time, that night. I was in shock.
He then freaked out at me for: hounding him with calls, telling me his whereabouts was a privilege that I took for granted, lying to him, being a fake, making him feel generalized and unspecial, that I wouldn’t ask him about the future between us, that I would avoid talking about children, etc, etc, etc… as if he were throwing the kitchen sink and all his other ish at me. I thought “What the heck is going on? Why is he so frustrated and venting?” Even when I tried to reason with him and apologize for any wrong doing, he wouldn’t accept it. It was as if my opinion and voice didn’t matter at the time because he heart was in so much pain.
So as the sun came up for the next day and we were still on the phone, I asked where this left us.
He said he wanted to be open to see other people.
I said “GOODBYE!” to him and quickly hung up.
Now I’m going through NC for the second time. I honestly can’t believe I’m in this position AGAIN!
After thinking, I believe he made a rash decision due to his emotional instability.
This time, I’m not heavily grieving like the first time when I found out he started to see another woman. It really was dreadful the first time because I was oblivious and in denial he would commit such an act. This time, I also know how to save myself instead of being an emotional mess.
I thought I could save the relationship. Now, I know it takes two to make the relationship work, and I thought I was doing the steps needed to make it work. I’m currently in a thinking battle myself, wondering if I should even be considering getting him back after the 30 day time period.
It was already frustrating enough the first time around, not only because of the rebound relationship he was going through, but the cyber bully that came along with it. (long story short: the cyber bully attacked the rebound using my social media content, and my ex accused me for the attacks. I took it all the way to the police with that one. It was like adding an extra year of trying to get him back after the time he was with her. Which, I believe he felt sorry for her, so he kept seeing her on and off out of pity.)
I’m really tired of this… I keep holding on to a lot of hopes of him being with me and seeing the future together, but this on-and-off business is not what I was foreseeing in this relationship.
I know this second time in NC is going to be easier to handle, though I did (I know, I shouldn’t have) sent him a text message saying “thank you for reaching out to me” when he bombarded me with texts and emails for two days straight after. I then said “have an awesome day!”
I guess that last text would technically be my Day 1 of NC.
In any case, the 30 day mark would be Dec. 24. Christmas Eve.
p.s. I also stupidly bought a Black Friday gift for him. I know it’s something he’d really need and like. I think it’s just the feeling of giving and seeing him happy because I love him so.
It’s a good thing I kept my receipt. I just might return it after the Boxing Week is over.