This site really helped me. I did no contact, really honestly worked on myself. And it worked. My ex and I started dating/hanging out again. He was going to introduce me to his parents this week. I felt great. But last night I got really drunk at a wedding. I was leaving and for some reason I told the uber driver to go to his place. We had just had a great night the night before. When I got there he told me I couldnt just show up at his place whenever I wanted and didn’t let me in his apartment building. I acted so pathetic and begged him but he told me I had to be an adult about it and get home. I left and sent him an apology this morning. I said that I really have tried to work on myself lately to become my best self, but I felt like my worst self came out last night. I sent 4 texts and he hasn’t responded. It’s not even really about him at this point. I just hate myself so much right now. I wouldnt want to be with me if I were me. Has anyone felt this low? Any kind words or encouragement would be welcomed.
Thanks KR. I feel a little better now after hanging out with a friend. He finally replied to my 4 texts that he thinks we just need to be done. And I agreed with him. I think I felt so self loathing about the situation because I let him make me feel that way, which has happened before. I’m only human. Im not perfect. And him being so unaccepting of the situation just makes me realize I need a person who is more accepting of me, flaws and all. I think this site helped in that I did try to improve myself. But it also helped me to realize I finally just need to be done with this relationship. We tried so many times and it didn’t work. Maybe the next person I date will be the person I end up with, maybe I won’t find that person for another 6 years. But thats okay. I don’t need a perfect relationship, I just need to find someone whose accepting of the fact that I’m not perfect.
Thanks again