Hey guys, how are you all?
Hey all, this is my story and what I have done since we started talking again.
First, my gf is from another state, so, this makes everything harder…
Our story began when she started producing a TV show with her father in law in my town. The program was horrible and didn’t reached the audience they were looking for. So the Show was cancelled and she had to went back to her state. But before she went, I said to her that I loved her and even asked her to move in with me. She didn’t said that she loved me back, she didn’t moved in with me. However, I have pulled some strings with some previous coworkers and managed to get her a Full Time Job. And she came back, and we stayed together for basically 3 years.
During this time, I was starting my own business while she was struggling in her career. None of us said “I love you” after the first time I said to her. As a result, we started to get distant and I got really hurt.
She started to feel bad, because her career wasn’t taking off, I supported her to go back to her state and try an MBA. She did that, it broked my heart to see that she was happy back in her city, until one day I confronted her:
I said to her that I was planning to go to Europe, that I wish we could talk more and plan a future together, and that I was starting to feel lonely because of this and couldn’t find my place in that relationship. I told her about some plans I had to go studying in Europe and try living as a Digital Nomad, and well, on Christmas, we broke up (one month after that talk). She said I wasn’t romantic with her (and how could I be?)
During that time, I took all the blame for myself, but deep down I knew I could have done better. I asked her for a second chance, that for the first time we were talking about our problems and that we could make changes to stay together, but she said she was exhausted…
We never talked again, and 3 monthes later, I asked her to get back together, she said no (February).
We had some minor talks between July and December. (the day she went to surgery, her bday and christmas).
I went to Europe in Novemeber, I have examined all my dreams and motivations and I have realized how lonely she was feeling when she was here, as I have felt in Europe (although it was 3 amazing monthes) and felt regret over how I have responded during our relationship. I was feeling guilty and regretful for loosing her. “Maybe if she gives me a chance, I can make it better now.” I thought…
Well… On February I told her about everything that I went through, but I also told her how bad she made me feel when she didn’t replied back, and how confusing that was for me. She asked me if I was looking to get back? I admitted that I was… She said no, and asked us to walk separate paths, because “our talk didn’t made her feel good”. And very sadly, I have removed everyone I knew, that was close from her, from my contacts, except her cousin.
Monthes passed, and I asked her very politely about her MBA, because I was looking to continue my studies and I wasn’t sure if would do that in Europe or in my town. She told me that she was trying to start a new business, an E-commerce, and as I work with Web Development, I volunteer to help her. Everything was working fine, until she gave me the cold shoulder.
I asked her if she was feeling ok talking to me?
She said in parts, yes… But told me that once the website was done, it would be “mission accomplished” and our contact wouldn’t be so frequent.
I got really hurt, and said that I was looking for new kind of relationship, although we were no longer gf and bf, I was hoping to be her friend, as I was showing how grateful I was for being part of that moment of her life as a solopreneur. She asked me again if I was looking for us getting back together. Here is where things got REALLY MESSY.
I freaked out, and said that NO F*** WAY…
I told her how lonely I felt while we were together, and that I did not deserve that type of treatment, spending 3 years with someone who never said I love u back… And that the way she was acting was making me feel like the ex-looser that does everything what the ex wants, and that I was sick of it. And that we shouldn’t talk anymore.
She gave me a silent treatment for a couple of days, but came back asking if I had rethought my decision, because the way she behaved was only because she “didn’t knew I was looking to be her friend, as she didn’t fantasized about it”.
I told her to get out of her pedestal, because no one was fantasizing shit. She said that she would stop talking, because things were getting worst, and that she didn’t want things to end “like this”.
5 days have passed, friday is her birthday, I am in silence since then, and so she is. She doesn’t know, but I have her E-Commerce 100$% ready and also a letter saying how grateful I was for our relationship and how happy I was for us talkign again. And now, I don’t know what to do with all of this…
Do I give her her the E-Commerce? Do I move on? Do I apologize (although I really meant that)? I know she doesn’t deserve these gifts, but truth is: I still love her…