i want to think there is hope...

[dejan]

So i started working and doing stuff but couldnt focus on anything,so i broke NC and sent her a text…no reply,tomorow a sent her a IM on Viber,i said that u can atlest answer me and she did,but same old same old…‘‘there is nothing to talk about,i dont want to talk to you,move on like i did,dont love you,pls leave me alone…’’
I said that i just want to see her one more time,to talk face to face,and she gave in and we made plans to meet today,but the only reason she agreed is because her best friend(also my friend,we have alot of mutual friends) talked her in to it,and yes i told her to do that for me if its not a problem,to atleast try.

We met today,i didnt se her in person since about a month ago(to me it was like a year),we went out for a drink,started with a casual confercasion,then i started to apologize for all my S**T and that im realy sorry for everything,if i could go back in time i would do things differently.She was kindof anoyed a little,i sarted philosophizing of life and love and how a new begginig is the best way,that i want her in my life… She replyed that she is glad that i found a job,that i stoped smoking the silly cigarets and she is happy for me,but its just too late…She said that she doesnt have any feelings for me anymore and that she doesnt love me,that she doesnt want to hurt me and she came not to bullshit me but tell me how things really are,that its over and to get over it,she said it in a calm manner,i asked if maybe we could stay friends,she said that she wouldn be here if we wornt but that we cant hangout,exept when we meet at some mutual friends birthday or something like that,then its ok,she doesnt want it to be wierd…i want to accept that but i cant, i want to belive that there is still a chance,someday,somehow…but she made it clear.

So we talked gor about an hour,and she had to go because she made plans with a girlfriend,i walked with for a little,stoped,and gave her a little present that i made my self (it had sentimental value),she was suprised,thanked me and said that its beautifull,honestly a thought she would trow it in my face Then I huged her so tight for a about 15 seconds,i didnt want to let go,that feeling was unbelivable,the smell of her hair,her body against mine,never wanted to let go of that moment! I kissed her a couple of times on the cheek and her hair and we said goodbie,she went of her way,it was heartbreaking,worse then when we broke up…

And so here i am complaining to you guys and women,hoping for someone to tell me that its a good sign,that we will get back togheter,that she is playing me…
But the truth is that its over! i just cant accept it,i want to try anything possible…

So honestly what do you think,and what sould i do and not do,and is there really some chance of maybe getting back togheter(keep in mind that she will be 30 next week,and i know that she wants kids and there is little time to waste),so i am screwed like a mother*****

[a-z]

Hey,
I’m sorry that you feel this way and that really makes me sad.but you never followed NC or any part of the plan.and we are not supposed to talk about our feelings or getting back together even right after NC.but its ok now.you couldn’t control your emotions and you were dealing with a hard situation so its really understandable.restart NC and please continue it for 2-3 months.no matter how hard it may sound but you need to help yourself to find happiness without her.if you really want to try to get her back,do it.
Here’s a checklist for ending no contact.

-You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
-You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
-You have made a few positive changes in your life.
-You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
-You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
-You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
-You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.

Follow the plan,it really increases your chances.
Whenever you feel low or you feel like you wanna contact her,come here and talk to us.we will always help you to feel better.only you can make yourself happy so do something about it.read the 5 step plan one more time,make positive changes in your life,and i’m sure you will feel better soon.

Best of Luck

[dejan]

thank you…really appreciate the support

I will do the NC,i dont have nothing more to lose

[a-z]

Be strong,follow the plan and i assure you that you’ll feel better.

[dejan]

i am feeling very depressed some times,its like nothing in my life is making me happy,nothing is like i emagened it it will be some day.

then i think about how my ex is doing,and she is fine,she is not hurting,hanging out with friends,probably has a guy in plans or something,its like i dont want her to be happy its not fair…does that make me a bad person ?

i am trying my hardest to stay positive but its like one second im ok and feeling great and the next second im down and hate my life…i realy do understand that there are much bigger problems in the world but i just cant help but feeling sad for myself…

i just want her to miss me atleast,to ask about me sometimes…
she said that she doesnt love me anymore and that she is moving on but i still just cant accept it,i just cant!

[rihanna]

hey Dejan,

I’m feeling the same thing today but I assure you that this sadness will ease with time. I’m really sorry that happened to you and all of us here are struggling with breakups no matter what the reason is behind it. Just know that you have us as your support group here. You are NOT a bad person, I was feeling the same thing but NO you are not a bad person, i’m sure you have plenty of good qualities in you, you’re loving and you have your friends and family to prove that. Take it day by day and do something fun for yourself, take a new hobby, join a new gym, go on a getaway/holiday, refresh your life… My thoughts are with you xx

[khine]

Dear dejan,

Your story makes me sad. I can even see in my eyes like movie. Whatever, you need to change your mind first. Read a lot of Kevin’s advices from this website.I also agree with a.z and Rihanna. Just improve something in your life. Just do something you haven’t done for a long time, like hiking, swimming, go gym , hang out with friends, go trip, buy new clothes, use perfume or playing guitar , piano , something else.BE BUSY. Do different except drinking alcohol or taking cigarette too much. ( I did these bad things for 2 weeks during NC ). They are not good. They only waste your money and health. Be positive friend ! honestly, I can’t give you too much advice. a.z and Rihanna can give , I trust as they are senior in this website.

I lv you all my friends !!

[dejan]

BIG thx to everyone! realy you guys and girls are always a big help

I got a job,i quit smoking,i dont drink (maybe after a hard days work i drink one beer to congragulate myself ) i can see myself that i have improved very much over the past month or so…but stil that sadnes just wont go away…but i get it,sometimes its hard and sometimes its harder i have to acept that,and do my best…

you all have been a big help and i truly thank you for that!

[khine]

Dear dejan,

I feel like that too. Sometimes , not sometimes , most of my times…I feel hard. I even accidentally wait his call. how bad ! But I try to control myself now. Give favor to yourself , dejan. Improve your life. Be happy my fri. Being busy can ease that pain, too. Please share us whenever you feel hurt or anything update.

[andyk]

hi dejan,

i agree with you. we have nothing to lose, so NC is our best shot at getting our ex back. it wont be easy, but hang in there!!

[khine]

Dear AndyK,

Ya, it won’t be easy. It is emotional control case. It’s not really easy .
I’m struggling too much to pass through. But hang in !!!

" Not only I try to stay well in NC , but also my friends in this website try too,… , I’m not alone " That’s how I give strength to myself.

thank you fris ! I really love you all.

[dejan]

hey friends ;D

her birthday is in thursday this week,she will be 30 so its kind of a big deal.
with my thinking now at the moment,i am not going to send her a text or call her to wish her a happy BD,i am hopping to get somekind of a emotional response from her,because i think that she is expeting a big text messege from me beacause i was acting realy needy and desperate before,then again it consedering her state of mind it would not surprise me if she se doesnt even react and doesnt give a f…k at all.
i hope that i can make it thru these couple of days and stay strong and not give in,but i realy wish deep inside me that i could have been a part in her life and share this moment togheter…its a real shame

i was talking to our mutual friends (girlfriends) and they said to me that she will notice one day what she missed out on,but by then it will be to late,her stuborness wont let her cave in,she has some kind of a law in her mind and she will most likly never admit it to herself that she made a mistake.

im going to sleep now,working tomorow… feel free to share any thoughts
best of luck to all of u !

[dejan]

hey friends…

i found out today that my ex is seeing someone else,my mfriend told me who is also one of our mutual friends.she is with the guy who was giving her jobs to do,she was making necklaces for him from her home,and this guy has alot of money,he recently got devorced,has two kids and he is 45 years old.i met him once wile we were togheter with my ex.

i was finaly getting to a point where i was feeling better and happier and then i heard the news and it hit like a tone of bricks,i was paralized.i could not belive it,i was in shock,and i did what i must not do…i texted her.i said to her that she sold her self for money,that she is weak and alot more.she replyed to me with a long meesege saying that she did not ever cheat on me,that she has a clear consciousness and she did nothing wrong and that it wasnt my buiesnes,she said that she is with him about a week now and thats its not about the money
she said to never call her again or anything.

i was at that friends house when all of this was happening,and my friends wife came home(her best friend) and she left her phone on the table and went to put the kid to bed.she got a messege from my ex saying how she regrets every second with,what hurtfull thing i was saying and acting like a child.

so i am very pissed right now and very hurt and in a very deppressed state,i am broken again,i just cant belive what she did.its like he was her backup plan,for a safe future,i get that she is 30 now and doesnt have much time,but realy did not expect this from her,just the thought of them togheter alone i go crazy,i cant belive that this is happening right now,dont know what to do…

i think that its terrible what she did to me,and just dont get them to togheter,how it can work,i realy think its only for the security and nothing else,i hate her for that i just want to make her feel pain…

so this is history,its all over for good now,but the pain in me is very real again and stronger…

pls help!

[a-z]

Hey,
I know exactly how you feel but the pain is not because you want her back its because you feel rejected and her relationship is probably a rebound.
You should continue NC as long as you are dealing with confusion and emotional roller coaster.
You applied NC for 12 days and you broke it.Restart NC and try to do anything that makes you feel better.Go out with your friends,set up a hobby,set up new goals and focus on your life.
I know its really tough but you are not the only one dealing with this pain.I totally understand you but i don’t want you to be sad cuz i’m sure you will be fine.
All you need is time.You will feel better soon.