Hi Kevin,
My bf and I am on LDR for the last two years. And just before one week he said that he can not continue this relationship. I asked what have I done then he replied that it was not my fault and he just does not want to continue. Before breakup, he was ignoring my messages and phone calls, though we talk only on weekends, weekdays are busy for both so we do texts on whatsapp. Once he told me that his family may not accept this relationship. I cried alot that day and asked him not to leave me alone. He consoled me that what if they agree in future. So I felt ok as I got some positive response from him. But after that he started ignoring my texts, this is where I made the mistakes texting him in every minute to reply me back and called so many times though I knew that weekdays we do not talk. May be he was frustrated and irritated because of my calls. But I was not able to control my feelings. Then we were about to talk on weekend and before 15 mins, he texted me that he does not want to continue. I tried my best to convince him but his last text was it was his best time in life with me, he asked me to try to be matured and understand and told that was his last message.
I was all broken… I did not know what to do. I cried alot and it was damn paining. I can’t explain the pain in my chest. I forgot to eat and even to sleep. Same condition is continuing. As you mentioned I have done all the mistakes from begging to texting, calling everything as I did not want him to go away from my life. And really I can’t live without him anymore I was so addictive to him. Even I asked if he doesnot feel for me it is ok , atleast can we be friends and can continue contacting each other. Then he replied that this will hurt me more and I wont be able to move on. Things will be worse for both of us. Now I am all alone even I do not have enough friends whom I can share my feelings. I am praying GOD each and every moment to help me out. But he doesnot reply to me anymore. I am afraid if he changes his number then I will be mad. Because he stays overseas and even if he comes back to home country I wont know he is here or not or wont be able to contact. I thought of visiting him after one month. But there are some visa problems. So in a word I am total helpless. Even if I go there or in case (GOD please that should not be happened) he changes his address, then also I stand no where.
I do not know what to do and how to do. If I would have got the visas I would have visited him as soon as possible. But that is also not in my luck.
I am totally blank without him. and just can not think anything without him. I do not know can I get in contact with him. Even in my office people used to notice the changes in me. I cried suddenly and get chest pain everytime I breathe. It is not that easy for me. I am trying to hide my emotions in front of everyone but cry alot inside bathroom. Praying to GOD is the only thing that I can do right now. But day by day it is getting worse situation for me. I am not that kind of girl who can suddenly think of other things or start dating other person. I just can not live without thinking about him. Even I tried tried to drink but no could not do that thing too. Messaged him on whats app and fb…but he did not see it .
Can you please help me. Will Visiting him be a good idea. I have so many risks. As he does what he wants to, I am afraid a lot. Please help me with your reply.
you have to go NC and respect his wishes for you guys to have a chance in the future. Just let him have his space. calm down and take it easy. At this point doing nothing is the best thing for you but it will get better that I can tell you
I will do No contacts, keeping all my things aside and will give him his own space. But after NC is visiting his place a good idea. What if then also he won’t meet me. At this situation I want to have a clear discussion but I am unable to contact. So after meeting after one month NC will be ok or not ? I am confused.
Happy New Year! I don’t think you should visit him after NC. except if you guys discuss meeting up. NC is solely for you to work on yourself and come to your own independence. Chances are he will contact you maybe during or after NC… NC is however long you want. I think you can breaak/stop NC when you feel strong and car headed, just send him an email since the letter won’t be possible for you. NC can be as long as you think you need it to be. I say till you feel ready to talk to them and know you’ll be in control of your emotions and everything
when he does decide to reach out then you can discuss meeting up. for now try to focus on yourself and NC and pushing forward with your life. So when he does reach out or you email him he will be pleasantly surprised with how great you are doing and intrigued. but take some time to yourself before you send an email/letter
Thank you once again Starlight. I will strictly follow your instructions and will do the NC properly. But in future after NC I will need your help for writing him an email.
np but it’s not my instructions this is also what Kevin wrote but also you know your relationship and the person so follow your instincts also and what you think is right… I know all this is also easier said than done but stay strong
hey, if he hasn’t reached out yet just stay strong… may I asked how you have worked and improved yourself? are you at the point where you are happy wit or without him? cause you have to learn to love yourself and be happy on your own before you can work on you guys
Sad news that he didn’t contact me. I know that if I won’t contact then he won’t and in theses days actuall I went to my native taking a break from my busy office life. Visited my old school friends, cousins relatives and it was one of the best time spending time with parents. Always afraid of swimming but this time learnt that too. And yes I totally ignored my phone so that I cannot contact him and control my mind. That worked for me not using gadgets helped me to involve in other things which I like. But yes somewhere deep down my heart I still miss him ?. I think I can live without talking to him but I am sure that no one can be replaced his place ?..
hey sorry for not responding sooner. . that’s good that you are hanging out with family and living your life. . it’s really up to you what you want to do at this point… ifb you feel you are ready to contact him if not continue with NC
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thanks