My name is Dani and I’m 30. I had a short relationship with a woman in December. She is 28.I knew her from highschool but till now we didn’t talked to much. I wrote to her on facebook on 1st of December, we went the second day to drink a coffe, everything was ok, we kept hanging out had great time together and I told her to come to my place in 10th of December for my birthday. She accepted, we drank some wine, had sex, laughed and decided to be a couple.The next 2 week we met a lot , spoke on the phone every evening, sometimes up to 3 hours etc. We live in separate cities but not far away, 1 hour drive.On 20th December I came to her and stayed there during Holidays(she lives alone).During this time she started telling me how perfect it is everything, that she is falling for me, she even told me that the sex she has with me is the best she had etc. During New Year’s Eve we went to the mountains skiing and after we came back she said she wants a break.
She said to me all sorts of thing…that she is scared because in her past relationships she had a lot to suffer, then that she is still in love with her ex( they met 3 times and that guy is married)… The next weekend we met and she told me that she had sex with somebody else.In the next couple of days she started writing to me, she said she did this because she wanted to push me away, then that she doesn’t want a relationship and all sorts of things. Everytime she was in a vulnarable position she pushed me away. When I stopped calling her she started calling me.We had our final meeting last Wednesday and she said that I should leave her alone and that she doesn’t care about me anymore. I told her at the end that I know she doesn’t want a relationship right now but I don’t believe her that she doesn’t care for me anymore.She started smiling and looked at me in a cute way…When she arrived home she texted me to leave her alone,I can not convince her but we should be friends and if I start flirting again with her she will not talk to me anymore.
I’m in love with her, I miss her,we talked about everything in December…
I am doing the no contact rule right now but I don’t know what to do next…
@Potco89 Dani, obviously you’re attracted to her, but it’s not possible to be in love with someone you’ve only known a short time.
And obviously she is a woman of low moral character! I think it’s a good thing that she doesn’t want contact with you, leave her alone and move on. Surely you could date others who have higher moral values.
So to prevent heartache and drama, move on! But don’t have sex with someone you barely know. Give any dating relationship time to get to know the person better.
@patricia12 thanks for your reply:)
Honestly I want her back…but I have to move on.The connection between us was something that I never felt before in other relationships.She told me it’s bad timing, she’s not ready etc.Anyway I tried almost everything to show her that I care about her and that I like her.
@Potco89 I understand your heartbreak. She said she’s still in love with her ex who is married and that they met up 3 times. This isn’t right or good at all! Then you said she even had sex with someone, wow. Was it with her ex?
I agree it’s best for you to move on and I have no doubt you will find love again with someone else.
@patricia It wasn’t her ex… it was a guy which was at party we went in December.He texted her on Instagram and then they met… She showed me the messages.This guy is also married.I asked her why?She didn’t had an answer and after a couple of days she asked me"Why are you still here after all I did to you?"
I don’t know what to believe anymore… I think that she is just scared of a relationship and she is very confused.
I’m happy that I learned a lot from this and I made also some changes in my life: a new job from March which is better paid, I’m going to a therapist because I have also to fix my fears, I’m learning to love myself and have confidence in me etc. I wasn’t also in a good mood when we started this relationship.
@Potco89 I’m glad about your job change and going to a therapist! I’m also glad you’ve learned the lesson of not dating women who date/have sex with married men. You’ll be okay:)
Wish you the best…