I used Jealousy during No Contact.. Need urgent Advice!!

reconciliation
1

Hello, My name is Mohit.

my gf broke up with me after 5 years of relationship 2 months ago and after a month of begging,pleading,fighting i decided to go for No contact. when she broke up with me Even our common friends tried their best to solve things but she refused to even talk about this with them.

after 22 days of No contact it was my b’day and she sent me a msg on watsapp at 12:00 AM wishing a happy b’day but i didn’t reply.
1 hour later,she again sent me a msg saying this…

‘I think I don’t have any right to even wish you a B’day… Still Happy B’day Once again…stay Blessed & Enjoy the day… :)’

In the morning,she Contacted one of Our common friend (ankur) & told him that i’m ignoring her.

I just wanted to be happy on my B’day so i went to a movie with my cousins & one of my Close friend (Neha) (opposite sex). i posted a Check In about this on facebook to make her jealous.

when my gf saw this…she immediately called my friend ankur again & asked him

'if he knows anything about whether Neha is with Mohit or not… to which he answered ‘No’.She said ‘Ok’

she even asked him…

“if i’m the same person who cried for her a lot in front of him. see how quickly mohit is moving on… But she’s Happy Now about this.”

2 days after my b’day… the same common friend Ankur texted my gf to talk about ‘me & my close friend’ but my gf said this to him…

‘After what happened on Mohit’s B’day,I Don’t want to talk anything about him or Neha. I’m happy that mohit is moving on in his Life & this is all i wanted’

to which my friend replied…

‘ok im srry i tried to talk about mohit with you but i just wanted to let you know that there’s Nothing between mohit & neha as you thought. I only tried to talk about this because i thought you were hurt that day.
Now i will not interfere in the matters of both of you.’

My question here is ‘did jealousy work?’ or it has Backfired? how much should i wait to contact my Ex?

2

Hey,
Don’t worry about anything but don’t try to make her jealous again.Show her that you are having a good time and you are happy but this doesn’t necessarily mean you need another girl to make her feel like that.
I think you should continue NC for another month or 3 weeks.Tell your friends not to talk about you when they talk to her.Don’t stalk her on social media and focus on yourself.Remember the most important part of NC is about you not your ex.

Here is a checklist for ending No Contact:
-You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
-You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
-You have made a few positive changes in your life.
-You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
-You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
-You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
-You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.

Best of Luck

3

Thanx a lot… A.z

Its been 25 days since I talked to her & I feel a lot better now…life is getting back on track again. But I think I’ll do No contact for atleast 2 more weeks. Because from the 4th week itself her exams are approaching so she’ll get busy at that time.

Here is the link to my earlier post about what actually happened between us…I sometimes think I should give up…But if you can advice anything more about the situation & approach it’ll be good.

4

Hey,
I read your post and I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time.I understand you and I know exactly how you feel and you should know that even though you don’t have any time to go on a date or hang out with your friends,you will be fine.

First of all,you should stop stalking her on social media.Stop checking her FB account or her whatsapp etc.Don’t even look at her pictures.When you break up with someone you love,its like drug addiction.The exact same part of your brain orders you and begs you to take even a small dose of your ex and by looking at her pictures,stalking her etc,you are taking the dose.So stop taking it.Its really important for you to leave her and everything about her for a little while.You should focus on yourself.You should know that you will be happy again.

If you want to get her back,you should become a happy confident person without her in your life.You should accept that you don’t need her.Concentrate on your life and study as well as you can.Don’t think about what she may be doing etc.Doesn’t matter what she does,you can always change the situation when you feel better.

Remember,you are more important than her and you should love yourself.Whenever something makes you feel sad,just tell yourself that you should be happy and you will be happy.Just focus on something you love,focus on the things you are thankful for and write it down.

Everything is gonna be ok.You do have a chance.

5

I have already deleted her pictures & phone no. from my phone & I have unfollowed her from facebook…
I used to constantly check her facebook profile in the beginning for the first 2 weeks… but now I’m really in control from past 10-12 days.
I have my concentration back on studies not as much earlier it used to be but definetly.

One thing I want to ask is that how much facebook should I use to show her I’m happy? I know she keeps checking my profile. Kevin’s email series suggested do’s & dont’s but I wanna know how much…

I post some positive & funny statuses after a day or two. & keep my profile pic changing in a week. I wonder if I’m overdoing it…
I also Read ryan rivers relationship rewind kevin suggested. Its really helpful in understanding each our situation.
I’m in death’s door & I don’t think the letter given in that suits my situation. although some tips for the letter given by kevin in the emails seems better suited to my situation. I just want to ask if I can send the letter (when i’ll be ready)on watsapp or through text msg as its difficult for me to send her after writing on a paper.

6

Hey,
I think what you’re doing on Fb is ok and yes you can send the letter as a whatsapp msg,email,facebook, etc

7

Hey a.z,
I’m preparing a letter to send her… I have created a thread to get the sugesstions.
https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/preparing-letter-to-contact-ex-need-advice/

It’ll be great if you can advice anything as you have already read about my situation.

8

Sure