I definitely do not think that he doesnt mind seeing you with other guys - it would definitely bother him!!! Men are stubborn creatures and your husband for sure has his defenses up right now. When you say he is hurt, it also means he loves you very much otherwise he just wouldnt care at all. I think for right now, let him come to you. Don’t text him unless it’s something important about your children and no matter what, ALWAYS treat him nicely. It might mean that he will take longer to come back, but in that way, it may not be as rough a journey for you. If he’s at the house, and wants to speak to you, just speak with him. If you feel like you cant, kindly let him know that you’re very busy and would prefer if he could come by the next day or if you can give him a call later. Don’t hide in your room, show him whose boss!!
Hey aamls… I think you should wait for someyime and see where does it go and then act normally.
Keep up the NC but dont ignore him as well.
If NC doesn’t work then try to create a false friendship.
But I think you should give NC to work and till then try to improve yourself.
Btw, guys are like that only. They can distract themselves very well. But that doesn’t mean they don’t feel anything.
thanks cassie. 
so should he see me with other guys meaning letting him know I moved on or should i just try to move on in the mean time? meaning, should I start trying to date other guys? im very hurt and confused, why are his defenses so up still? I think he keeps busy with stupid females. 
also I was saying I was very busy the other day and he wouldnt understand that till he left I guess. ugh. my husband is one of the most stubborn people i know. ugh. I dont look for him at all, im letting him be, but this hurts very badly. I hope your right cassie when saying it’ll take him longer to come back but I highly see this happening. I feel so horrible with my youngest birthday coming up and with all the holidays. Idk how im going to make it through. 
he sent me a text saying: hey would you mind picking up money again today? I havent responded yet but I was thinking of not responding. this is so painful. I dont want to seal with him anymore, this is so painful. what should I do and should I reply? what should I say to him? is it still to soon to try to be friends with him? I wanna be friends with him so I can try to get close to him again, but im not sure what to do or think or how I should go about doing this. @cassie @divjun @a.z. anyone?
I was thinking of responding with please have money ready for when I get there it’d be ready. thanks does this sound good? last time he had to go to the atm and I had to deal with him for a few. this way I get the money and go. why is he avoiding coming to give me the money? and he hasnt spoken to his mother in a few days I think. he doesnt even talk to her about how he feels. im so so hurt by all of this. what do ya think?
thanks for replying divjun. how do I keep no contact but not ignore him? no contact is only working as calming him down some and not going all crazy all of a sudden but Im not sure how I can create a false friendship with him, because last time I mention the gym he didnt say anything and i think hes trying to avoid being close with me especially if hes talking to other females. im some what in between no contact and false friendship but know he still has his defenses way hi still. idk what to do anymore. what do you think of the other things I wrote about. thanks for your reply. do you think after him saying that to my oldest that i still have a chance at getting him back? or do you think I should move on. the other day seem like he was reaching out to me and now everything fell all over again. ugh. what do you think? thanks
You dont need to date a guy just to show him your moving on.
Do whatever makes you happy. If u wanna date then date.
And to be honest, my bf told everyone that he doesnt wants to be with me. He likes being single and stuff lik that. You know what happened. So take a chill pill.
Its all okay.
And dont try to avoid him in front of him. Just be normal. Dont be afraid to face him. Play it cool. Dont initiate any conversation or meeting. And when he texts you , if u wanna reply then reply late as if you were busy doing something else.
thanks divjun. my husband seems to be very angry with me apparently. hmmm, I hope your right about what your saying on my behalf. :-/ I hope its like @cassie said and its just taking him a little longer. I was thinking of going to his job dressing up really cute to make him even more jealous, but im not sure yet. lol I need to go but me cute clothes. especially since im trying to lose weight. if he sees me looking cute he hopefully will get jealous but who knows. he keeps going to the gym a lot, ugh trying to make himself look good. I hate that. im not sure what to text him yet, but thats what im doing texting him later so he thinks im busy. thing being he responds right away some times and he when he tells me to go to his job he always wants me to let him know ahead of time, probably so he can tell his stupid little girlfriend to hide or something. ugh this is so hard and difficult. dont know what to do anymore. ugh
Even if he is with someone else, she cant take your place. You are the mother of his children. You are love of his life and thats whybhe married you after 6 years of relatiinship.
As I said dont try to show anything to him. But yes, dont act like tou really want to get his attention.
Just sit back and relax. Its all going to be okay.
I would suggest you to join some hobby class or something like that so that you could keep yourself and distract ur mind from him.
thanks divjun. maybe he is in a rebound and doesnt want me to know about it which is why hes acting that way. I just hate when he try to talk to me about issues its stressful and sometimes hurtful I would prefer text or email to be honest. ugh this is so hard. yes im going to have to start doing something. now im gonna go for my walk and then get dressed. im not sure what I should reply to him. ugh. but what your saying is when hes around keep acting normal like nothing is bothering me. thing being we would always say things like that a while ago about we werent gonna be together and now hes sticking to it. ugh. im gonna try to keep myself busy though, well try to anyways. anyone?
do ya think I should text him back? what should I say and what should I do when I see him? I wonder why he cant come to drop it off and leave. I hate this every time I think of him anything to do with him or confronting him it stresses me out. I hate this. Idk anymore. ugh
It sounds to me like he’s walking all over you. You don’t deserve it and you need to be strong. Let him know you need some space and basically just keep your visits to just whatever the kids need with minimal communication. Think about what it is that YOU want…whether it be friends or seeing if you can rekindle something or just nothing at all. It sounds like a really unfortunate situation, but just remember you are an AMAZING person and deserve only the best. I am sure he knows that and is feeling deep pain for what is happening and that is why he is acting all weird. I am sure he will come to his senses at some point (maybe he’s going through a mid life crisis or something). At that point it will bee on you what you’d like to do and that is a great feeling. You are strong and a wonderful person. Don’t let any guy or anyone let you believe any differently. Try to get as much space as you can without scraficing the kids. And be a happy person! You deserve it!
@tarbox thanks for replying. thanks for your nice words. I really dont feel this way though at all. how do you thinking hes walking all over me? also he texted me yes or no after not responding to his first text and then he called and left me a voice mail saying my name and that he needed to know if I was gonna be able to go get the money because he didnt want to carry that much money on him. should I go get the money or make him bring it. I was actually thinking after your text of telling him to bring the money and stating the time he would come( this way I know when hes coming and I can leave and not be here when he comes.) im very confused as to what I should do. Im so depressed and confused. ugh thanks
btw do any of you guys think I still have a chance at getting him back. (he of course acts nice, but like kevins messages have been saying has his defenses up) how can I get him to drop those. I was also thinking of going to his job to get the money and saying something like thanks. hopefully we could hang out soon or something like that. is this a good thing or bad thing? anyone? thanks
whether you feel that way or not, it is the truth… Perhaps walking all over you was an incorrect term…I think I meant more playing head games. Who knows whether it’s intentional or unintentional. It’s obvious he still cares in some way. Sometimes us guys do really stupid things and don’t even realize it till much later down the road. Not saying it it, but perhaps that is what is happening here. No way to knwo for sure i suppose…
thanks I appreciate that as im very depressed. :-(hmm idk what hes doing but its very hurtful. im gonna go to his job to go get the money, not that I want to but unfortunately I need it. I see what your saying. I feel like im at a lost cost. do you think asking him to hang out is a bad idea? I may just get the money and leave. im gonna be leaving shortly. ugh…wish me luck.
I wish you the best…I would not ask him to hang out though…give it some more time…
How did it go today?
Hey, how was it?
@tarbox thanks @cassie and @divjun. so I went to his job and of course I dressed up lol. well im not sure if this was a good thing or not but maybe mutual. so he was in the back of his department but he was called to the deli dept which is next to his dept. so then we see him come out and he goes to his manager and didnt see us till a few minutes later. he signal to me to go out but I kinda stayed behind on purpose. lol so then a few minutes later he calls me, I hesitated to get the phone but then I thought to myself he is here and already saw me lol so I got the phone. he tells me didnt you see me when I signal you to meet me outside. I said uh yeah were going right now. he said meet me outside by the atm. I said ok. I took a few more minutes to get there to give time. then we show up outside. then hes by the machine getting the money for me. hes talking to the kids and saying hi to them ect. then we start talking. he was saying how inside the store how the fans to the department broke and they had to pull everything of the selves. and how he was there since 5am and it was almost 5pm. I told him it sucks and that he looked sick. I asked him if he was alright. (he looked very tired) and he said yeah hes fine. then he asked me how I was doing and I said yeah im good or fine cant remember. lol I was telling him about how his mom keeps complaining about the bills and now hair issues lol and he said he should pull out money to give her, but he didnt, I told him I was thinking of helping her but wasnt sure as I dont have a job atm. also he told me about how much he payed in car insurance and why it was that much ect. I was telling him how my car is all messed up and he told me yeah he was gonna have to take a look at the window and maybe look into why my starter is having issues. he told me he may need to borrow my car to move the stuff from the storage so we could save that money. (he keeps taking everything that we have together and getting rid of it little by little. ugh) and I asked him what will we do with the stuff and he said we’ll throw it away. I told him we need to do our daughters hair and when he was looking I knida touched his fingers. I also kinda touched his hand when he was giving me the money and for a few seconds we kinda held or had our fingers wrapped with eachother. I did notice he kept walking away from me, lol, ugh but i kinda either fallow or let him move, so he wouldnt know. while he was giving me the money i had mention maybe we could hangout some time and catch up, he kinda nodded and kinda said yeah but since i didnt get a for sure I mentioned it again. but this time when I mentioned it my oldest open her big stupid mouth lol.she said why do you need to hang out. ugh I said to catch up as friends. he didnt say anything lol. then we started saying our good byes. lol he hugged and gave the kids a kiss and hugged and then left. he told me to take care or stay safe, idk. I must mention I almost felt his forehead but didnt want to make him feel uncomfortable. also he mentioned to me if i applied for food stamps, :-/ ugh I said yeah and they declined me I have to reapply and he said yeah your gonna need them. I said yeah and that way I can help you out to and he said no its okay, but I said yeah I wanna help you and he may have stayed quiet. im not sure. did I do good or bad? this kinda gave me the impression that either he wants to kinda be friends or he aint getting back together with me at all. ugh idk what to think of all of this. he told the kids that he was thinking of taking them with him but that what happend with the coolers he was still there and couldnt leave till they had everything done. they really did have a lot of people there working. do I have any hope at all. Im so scared because of what he told my oldest that we arent getting back together again and that hes trying to play it cool and be friendly but if he has to put a stop or say something he wouldnt hesitate in a heart beat to say or do so. ugh I feel like I have no hope. what are yas thoughts on this? thanks ya also I think he may get the kids tomorrow but am not sure we shall see. ugh lol
I feel so bad.Listen he is absolutely not over you. You have children together. I agree he was acting shady with meeting at the gym and what not but you have to realize this is just one day out of the 365 days of the year. No offense …but get over it! I mean that in the utter most respect! The fact that he told his mommy that the co worker was checking you out straight up shows how jealous he is. If you started talking to someone else he’d probably have a kanipshion if thats the way he reacted to a co worker looking at you! What I would do…I would act just as shady. Next time you call to talk to your kids if he doesn’t pick up, leave a voicemail!!! Say “hey I wanna speak to the girls call me bye” that’s all. If you keep calling like you did in this scenario it doesn’t look good and it seems desperate. It seems as though you are trying to use the kids as an excuse to hear his voice(even if your not). Just cool down, these kinds of things are going to happen and everything happens for a reason. Don’t go calling him for any other reason other than your children. Also start buying new clothes or get a new hair style. Start looking your best and join a new activity or something…and brag about all the people and fun your having! The worst revenge is happiness and if he keeps acting like such an a**hole to you…you need to push back and not make acceptions just cuz you had relations with him. DO NOT LET HIM WALK ALL OVER YOU! You definitely don’t want to push him away! So steer clear and wait for him to contact you first unless absolutely necassary for the childrens sake. Keep us posted