So I was trying so hard to follow the no contact thing for a month but today I fucked Up and couldn’t take it anymore, I texted him and asked if we had a chance and he said maybe in a few years but idk why but we got in a fight just now and I honestly think he hates me. I’m scared he’s over me already, we broke up a week ago and I still cry everyday at least once, I find myself so bored all the time and missing him every second of the day, and the no contact is really hard because all my friends have boyfriends and are either busy or don’t understand, I’ve tried watching movies a lot more and that helps but at night when I’d normally be up texting him I just feel broken and cry, idk what to do anymore. I just I don’t want to get over him because I really want to be with him forever. But he doesn’t know if he wants that because his best friend keeps saying shit about me, I see him everyday at work and I try to look positive even tho I am miserable and idk what to do, nothing has gotten better and I’m gonna restart no contact but is their any advice on how to get through that? (That has actually worked on people) because I’m desperate for advice (if you want my full breakup story for further information of the situation I have another message on the bored that explains everything)
I do not know your full story but perhaps I can give you some insight into what’s going on. First, let me say that I understand the pain you are going through. I also understand that you are terribly upset and frustrated right now that things have not worked out the way you wanted. How old are you btw?
In my opinion, at this stage no matter what you do and how hard you try - pleading, begging, crying, arguing, etc - will not bring your boyfriend back to you. Why? Because these acts have told him that he is dealing with a needy, desperate woman who would do anything, just anything, to be with him. Interestingly, research in this area has shown that guys do NOT want these women because they scare the hell out of them. Men want women who are incredibly confident, independent (can be happy on their own without a guy around if need be), busy with their own lives and FUN. As soon as they feel that a woman becomes a burden to put up with, they back off and run away, because, hey, they have never signed up for this in the first place!
Coming back to your situation - the earlier you understand that you cannot do much to rescue this relationship at this moment, the sooner you can kick off your recovery process. I am not saying here that your boyfriend will never want to get back to you, no; in fact, if you genuinely give him time and space as well as take your own time to work on yourself (basically, become the woman described above - independent, fun, confident, and so on), I can assure you that this guy will return to seek you out if he has true feelings for you. If he does not, it’s his loss not yours because by then you would have moved on with life and perhaps met someone amazing.
Sorry, I just saw that you were asking for advice on how to survive the NC period.
First, try not to look at it as a magic trick that will return your boyfriend to you in 30 days. That may or may not happen. The NC period can be any amount of time from one day to years…each person is wired differently and requires a different amount of time.
Second, the NC period is designed to help YOU get over the excruciating pain you are feeling right now and start looking forward to a future that may not include your current boyfriend. Take this time out to grieve - I used to cry almost every day for the first two months following my breakup. Then start re-building yourself - set your own goals to pursue- for example, increase your fitness level, get a qualification or a better job, learn a language or travel to a place you always wanted to see. These are, of course, examples you can customise based on your background and interests.
Third, reaching out to your network of close family and friends helps a lot, especially in the initial stage of the NC. Having someone to talk to, someone who is non-judgemental, means the world, really. Do you have a best friend or a family member that you can call late at night when you feel lonely and desperate?
Finally - and this is my own opinion, I would erase all contact information of this guy - no more social media, no phone number (having it makes it easy to reach out each time you feel weak). If you have common friends, I would politely ask them to stop mentioning anything about him because you are trying to move on.
Hope this helps, good luck!