Well, I broke the NC rule after 2 days. I needed to get answers and he was very rude via text. Again, he wouldn’t talk on the phone. Acting very childish. I asked him if he wanted me to date other ppl. He said yes. I asked him if he could honestly say that he didn’t love me. He said, “not like that anymore.” Whatever that means. He basically said we didn’t have a chance. I ended respectfully thanking him for everything. I then went back on to the dating website where he and I met. I reactivated my profile and uploaded new pictures. After a few hours, he reactivated his account, but it doesn’t seem like he’s been active since he never comes up on my matches search. Anywhoo, looks like I better let reality sink in bc I now don’t have a fighting chance.
This is very similar to my story!
We met on a dating site and we’ve been together for 1.4 years, he broke up with me on the phone and told me that he wants us to stay friends and that I should meet someone new, he also said some hurting things but I suppose that things came from anger and this is not how he truly feels.
I say start the NC rule again and see how things going, I also broke the NC rule and rushed things but It didn’t change how he feels, you both need some time and space to heal for now, don’t lose hope!
Thanks Oshi! He broke up with me with no feelings, so cold hearted. He seems so upset and bitter, yet he was the one that was at fault. But I apologized anyway, humbled myself, and took the high road hoping that he would be remorseful. Part of me wants to believe that he was acting so cold hearted bc he’s not over our fights and me texting him every other day made it worse. But having him tell me yesterday that there’s no chance between him and I, how he doesn’t love me like that anymore (this happened all within a 2 week span, before that things were great) although I don’t understand how someone can just stop loving another that quick, and how he reactivated his dating profile (I did too, but he told me to date other ppl). I’ve never met anyone that could flip their emotions that quick. Nevertheless, it hurts so bad
do NC, dont break it and reach out in middle of april. ur ex probably feels relieved now cause he is single and free. become a improved person and work on urself. but dont break NC now. I did NC 2 weeks, texted and gor ignored. a week later i broke nc again got ignored. 10 days later the sae thing hapened for his bday he said thanks back i asked for coffee-got ignored. Then i did NC all over again for 55 days ad got a response. 2 weeeks ago we became normal “friends” now we are unoficial friends with benefits. THO they say it isnt sart to do that when u want to reconcile with ur ex. better to do 60 days NC than less than 30, trust me. tho some people need more time to calm down after breaking up with someone and some need much more time. its up to you, to increase ur chances to reconcile.
I agree with tami, keep up the NC rule for more than 30 days and even if he said those things I’m sure he’s thinking about you, In my situation my ex also seemed cold and said things that really hurt my feelings, and everything was great 2 weeks earlier and I thought "how can he change his feelings so fast? everything seemed so great between us, I know it’s really hard but wait a while and work on yourself you have nothing to lose.
My ex was pretty cold and stern about the breakup. He wouldn’t have a conversation with me as he can’t handle conflict, so everything was through text. I called him 13 times in one night hoping he would give me answers! We fought vday weekend and then 2 days after that about our fight. I apologized (even though he mainly was at fault but he’ll never admit to being wrong) then continued to text him every other day. He would respond most of the time. But yesterday I asked that he call me. He said, no thanks. I told him that I understood he doesn’t like conflict, but that I think he was being unfair to me (bc he refused to talk to me even after I apologized and poured my heart out) He said he didn’t care. Then proceeds to get angry and tells me to stop texting him and to leave him alone. how can someone be so cold hearted? Was your ex this bad to you?
The first few times we talked on the phone after the break up my ex was also really cold and said things that really hurt my feelings, he said that I should find someone new and I said that a couple should stay together not just in the good times but also in the bad times and he told me to find someone that will stay with me in the bad times, and also that his love for me is not the same anymore.
he acted to you like that because he’s angry at you and it means he still has feelings for you, I think that showing anger is better than apathy because it means he cares.
Thanks for the advice. Your ex sounds like mine. He said the same exact thing! About how he doesnt love me the same - well In his text i asked him specifically - do not love me? His reply - not like that anymore…whatever does that mean??? It hurts everytime I think of it. Two days before I asked that i asked him if he loved me (again). He refused to answer it. He said he wasn’t going to answer loaded questions. I told him if the answer was no, then it would be a lot easier for me to move on and that I wouldnt keep trying (he told me earlier to stop trying bc be wasn’t interested). He refused to tell me. So fast forward to yesterday where he told me he doesn’t love me like that anymore. I’m crushed! So as much hope I would like to have, I think it’s really over
I know that it’s really hard and you couldn’t even imagine that he would say those things to you but I believe his feelings right now come from anger and this is not how he truly feels about you, he’s not thinking straight right now and that’s why you should give him some time to calm down and think about his real feelings for you, that’s also why I think the NC rule is so important, when I met my ex about a week ago I thought that enough time has passed and that he misses me but I realized that I didn’t actually give him enough time to be alone and experience his life without me for a while, that’s why I think you should give him some time alone, it’s also better than getting hurt again and again after he’s rejecting you and hurting you like that, I know it’s really hard and painful but we have to wait and be patience for a while and let them calm down
Today I went shopping with my mother and EVERYTHING I looked at reminded me of him, It was so hard, that moment I just wanted to call him but I controlled myself and I felt better not doing it, that way you’re proving to yourself and showing him that you don’t need him to be happy.
Agree with tami420 @ I am on my NC and in approx. 60 days completion on March 13 my ex has asked me for resume and how I am doing and last week her best friend texted me for some work and asked me how I am doing.
So I would suggest as tami do NC and mind your own business,even tho it is the hardest thing to do but that is the good option.
Trust me I tried everything before doing NC but nothing worked some people are stubborn and take lot of time to come from pain my gf is one of them.Good luck
Thanks for all the advice! I had a very hard morning as all I could do was think of him. I rarely ate today and am losing weight by the minute. I saw him active today on the dating website that we met on and it just made me even more hopeless, even though in my mind he will never find anyone better than me. I’ve been thinking about deactivating my profile on that site bc my heart isn’t there to start looking for someone new. All it will do is upset me more and more each time I see him on there. After 30 days, I really don’t know if I’ll contact him again. I poured my heart out to him, humiliated myself, and apologized a numerous amount of times for our fights. He has been extremely mean, unkind, cold hearted and emotionless. I can’t imagine him being positive in any way if I were to reach out to him. For some reason, he has a hard time getting over anything anyone says that he perceives as him being shamed or attacked. Rather, he pushes ppl away by not talking about it or dealing with the situation. It’s easier to ignore it, in the hopes that it’ll go away. In this case, that’s me. If someone could be that cruel to react in such a unforgiving way, what makes me think he won’t act any different in 30 days? Ppl don’t change! Besides he flat out told me that there’s no chance between us, granted he seemed upset and bitter, but still…How am I supposed to recover from that and hope that he didn’t mean it?
Not so much, actually I think things are getting worse.
Before I started the NC rule when I initiated a conversation with him he always called me back or texted me, there was even one time he texted me to check how i’m doing.
A few days ago I accidentally called him but he didn’t call me back, and he stopped liking stuff on my facebook, he told me before that it’s important for him to stay in touch and told me to call him if I need anything or if I just want to talk.
I don’t know anymore what all of this means, did he said that because he felt bad for leaving me or did he really want to stay friends because i’m still important to him?
I decided to wait a few more days so it will be 2 weeks of NC and then send him a letter, whatever happens I accepted the possibility that we might never get back together.
I’m sorry! I’m on day 6 of NC and it’s been the worst week of my life. I’m incredibly lonely and find it hard to concentrate. I keep wondering if I’ll even contact him after the 30 days. I guess only time will tell. I really hope things get better for you. Hang in there!
tg7188 if you have kik you can add me kailak19. Its been two months and a half for me so I feel better now but I still feel lonely sometimes. You can text whenever you want. And Oshi I would like to have advice for you… If you really just want an answer do that. If you are willing to make the sacrifice, try to wait a bit more.
@tg7188:
Thanks, you too! I know how you feel, I don’t sleep well, have nightmares, meeting with my friends but still feel lonely somtimes, I’ve lost 2kg in 2 weeks!
@kaila:
Thanks for the advice.
I’m not taking care of my health that’s why I decided that it’s not worth it anymore.
I understand that he needs some time but I already started the NC and then we arranged a meeting and things were going well as friends and now I started the NC again because I felt that I didn’t give him enough time, I know that I hurt his feelings so I wanted to write him a letter to apologize and tell him how much I appreciated all the things he’s done for me, it’s mostly so I can be at peace with myself and show him how I felt.
I have good news! I broke the NC rule after 9 days. I woke up on day 10 and immediately started thinking about my last night with my ex, the night we fought. It’s like a light bulb went through my head and I could clearly see why he was upset and what I did wrong. All this time I was apologizing for the fight, but never recognized what exactly I said and did to make him give up on us. I couldnt believe what was racing through my mind. I knew instantly that I had to write him an email. I was very nervous being that I hadn’t completed NC for 30 days and it was only 9 days since our last texts. But, I took a chance anyway bc I couldn’t withold the information until the 30 day mark. I sent the email and within 30 min he wrote back saying he loved me! He also texted me too and said my letter made him emotional. So…hopefully things will progress. I haven’t spoken to him since 2 days ago, but that’s ok. I’m going to take things slow. After all, he loves me!!!
I’m so happy for you!!
He could have said something else but chose to say that he loves you!
This is definitely a good sign, and yes you should take it slow for now.
Did he say anything else?
That is exactly the reason why I sent my ex the letter after 14 days of NC and didn’t wait more, because I realized things that I haven’t thought about before, about my behavior and how I made him feel during our relationship, so I woke up and thought that I must send him a letter explaining how I feel. In the letter I apologized for hurting him and explained it was wrong, told him that I respect his decision, told him how much I appreciate him, and how much the relationship meant for me, but I didn’t specifically write things about our fights because I wanted the letter to be light hearted, do you think it’s okay? and if I may ask, what did you write him?
He received my letter yesterday, but haven’t called or anything, yesterday I shared on my facebook a romantic song (I suppose he doesn’t know that song) and he was the first person to “like” it! (that was after he stopped liking things on my facebook) It made me happy for a bit, also during our relationship we always shared with each other romantic songs and every song reminded us of a time we spent together, I know that maybe i’m exaggerating it but it gives me hope.
