I need to get him back ASAP - please help

I started talking to this guy back in March. We were long distance at the time (about 2 hours) and so primarily got to know each other by phone (text mostly). We spoke every single day and met up 2 times between March and May. He was really into me and told me he liked me and it was great. I was a little confused and scared though. A week after the second date, I asked to take a small break. We were talking on a daily basis and I felt confused so I just needed at least a day of not talking to get my head straight. He was really understanding about it and so we didn’t speak for a week. I then contacted him again because I missed him and realized that my confusion was really just my fear of falling for him too fast. We began talking again almost daily but this time I was texting him all the time (before, he would text me daily and say the sweetest things). I started texting him daily after the short break because I felt bad for initiating the break to begin with and I guess I was trying to compensate for that. He became sort of moody at that point. Some days he would be okay and others he would seem uninterested. He began taking a long time to respond and would just stop responding altogether on some days. Then in June, I was in his area for other reasons (visiting my grad school which I am staring soon) and so we had our 3rd date. It didn’t go well… He seemed distant and uncomfortable and I know I was frustrated with his weird behavior for the past month so I was quiet too and he could probably feel that I was annoyed with him. It just didn’t go well. 2 days later, he said he didn’t want to pursue this anymore because we didn’t click on that last date. I told him how I felt and that I was upset that day because of how distant he had been. We argued a bit and that was it. I was heart broken. I cried and cried. I texted him a couple days later and apologized for anything and everything I could think of. No response.

I was in the middle of packing and moving to a new city for grad school so I forcd myself to be pre-occupied with that process until I moved in July. So I didn’t speak to him for a month. The city I moved to is much closer to him and we could have had a more normal relationship now if we were still together. So at the end of July (about 2 weeks ago) I texted him and asked him if we could start over. He said a part of him wanted to say yes but the other part had other things on his mind. He felt it wasn’t a good idea. We went back and forth a little and he asked me what I thought. I said I thought it was worth another try. He said said things were hit or miss between us and that he had too much going in his life at the moment. I said ok and haven’t spoken to him again since then.

I miss him terribly and can’t stop thinking about him. I feel like he’s passing up a good opportunity for us to finally get to know each other better now without the distance. What do I do now? How do I get him back?? It’s been a week and half since I asked him to start over. What do I do now?

Hey,
You should follow the 5 step plan.it will increase your chances.
Best of Luck

I did look at the 5 steps and will definitely try that but any other advice or opinions on my situation would be helpful.

NC is all you should do for now and we are all here to help you through your next steps.
During NC,work on yourself,make positive changes in your life and try to be a happy confident person.
Do not ever stalk your ex during this time.
Use social media to show that you are having a great time in your life.
Here’s a checklist for ending no contact.

-You followed the no contact rule for at least one month.
-You are no longer a mess as you were after the breakup.
-You have made a few positive changes in your life.
-You are absolutely sure that getting back with your ex is a good decision.
-You have gone on at least one date during no contact.
-You have accepted the breakup and you are OK with the fact that you may never get your ex back and this might never work for you.
-You have accepted the fact that even if you don’t get your ex back, you will be fine since there are endless opportunities in the world to find love and happiness.

I know it sounds tough but everything is gonna be better.come here and talk to us anytime you want.
Remember that you are more important than your ex and only you can make yourself happy.

Good Luck

Has this plan worked for anyone here?

Yes,its worked for too many people.no one can guarantee if it works for you but it will absolutely increase your chances.

Ok everyone so I’m at 14 days of no contact. I just went on a date last night with another guy and to be honest it left me a little confused. I actually had a good time and the guy was really nice. But at the same time, inside I was wishing I was out with my ex instead… I kind of like the attention from this new guy but I keep wishing that it was my ex instead. Do I keep talking to this new guy through no contact or now that I’ve gone on the one recommended date, should I stop. I still ultimately want my ex back.

Hey Lulu,

NC will allow you to figure out if your ex is the right guy for you. You might end up in a rebound relationship if you continue dating him because you are not over your ex yet, in that case you will hurt him. Let him know that you’re not over your ex and that you still need time to think about it. However, if you like this new guy and the attention he’s giving you then ask yourself why you still want your ex back.

Thanks Edward. I thought about it and I do still want my ex back. I really feel like he is the one and only guy I can truly be happy with. I need him back… I see my future with him… That one date was enough. I’m not going to pursue this other guy.

So I’m almost at the 30 day mark for No Contact. How do I know if it’s finally time to reach out again or if I should wait a little longer?