I need help on this one! My ex is so confusing to me!

okay so my ex girlfriend and I broke up about two weeks ago. We were together for over three years. She lived with me for two of those years. She broke up with me and said she just doesn’t feel that way for me anymore and hasn’t felt that way since October. But the day after we broke up I went over to her friends house and she was all over me and kissing and hugging me. Also two days later she came by my house and we cuddled and took a nap together. But I messed up and I called her and texted her a lot during the first week of the break up which I realized I shouldn’t have. Okay so we are on to the second week and one day she calls me at like 2 in the morning to apologize to me for the way she was acting which she said she was acting like a B and she said she was sorry but she had to get the point across. She also told me she does love and care for me but she said she doesn’t want to lead me on. She said she wants to be friends and I can’t do that cause it will just cause hurt on me. She finally got her stuff moved out of my house about two days ago which she was hugging me and before she left she wanted another hug and wanted me to pick her up like I used to do which I thought was weird but I did it anyways. she still tells me she loves me at the end of phone calls and she told me the day she got her stuff she loves me. I really need help on this one! Also I think I may have pushed her even further away cause I ended up in the hospital due to stress and passing out and found out that I have heart problems and was born with bad ions in my heart and it doesn’t pump enough blood. Also she told me at the beginning of the break up that we had a 98% chance of us getting back together and she just needs her space. How is that possible if she lost feelings for me in October? Not to mention October would have been exactly a year since my mom passed away which really had a toll on me. She said I never really showed affection to her and stuff which it was hard because she was always at school and work and I was at school and playing football. Also about a month ago we got into a fight because I was starting to hangout with my friends more and everything and I told her she needs to hangout with her friends as well and she didn’t and one day I was having my friend stay the night and I told her " If she doesn’t stay with her friend then im breaking up with you" which I didn’t mean it and I said I was sorry for it but that was no excuse. I would never actually break up with her because of some lousy thing like that I just wanted her out of the house and to actually hangout with her friends. Any advice?

Also she has been trying to call me and saying she is worried about me! Plus she gets mad when I ignore her!

I hate to say it man but you guys got to do no contact for at least a month. She said she needs her space and you need some time to process things. Sometimes a break is good. Focus on making yourself healthy, this can’t be good for your heart right now. Also it’s not fair for her to break up with you if she knows you’re going to get back together. Just take a breath from each other and cool down for a bit. Then reevaluate after no contact.

But what if she moves on? She told me to move on and she told me she wouldn’t care if I was with another girl! She said she wants to be just friends! That just kills me to think that she doesn’t care if I was with another girl!

Words and actions are different things. She most likely wants you to be happy and thinks seeing another girl will do so. Also she’s telling you all of this while you’re still wanting her.

Go nc. Once she sees that you don’t need to talk to her, and can have a happy life without her, she might see that she can’t do the same. She’s only saying what she’s saying because she doesn’t expect you to follow through.

“Might” that’s what gets me!

Bump

You have to do NC for yourself. Dont let her screw your mind and feelings at the same time. Stop all the lines of communication for now and work on youself. Join gym and go on a few casual dates.
Feel good about yourself.
This will give her her needed space and time to clear off her head. It will give you time to analyse your relation and work to be a better and happier person and who knows you might discover new talents and be a more confident and attractive guy. Its a win win situation.
And from the story you posted, she’s not going anywhere. :slight_smile:

You definitely need to implement NC. She will care if you are with someone else and she will respond to the NC.

You cannot respond to her. When my ex never responded to me, it made me miss him and it drove me crazy.

It is EXTREMELY obvious that she cares, but if she needs a break so do you. It seems like you’ve gone through a lot, you need time to process it and deal with your own demons as well as she did. She will miss you. I promise.

Answer mine?https://www.forum.exbackpermanently.com/boards/topic/why-is-he-doing-this/#post-33695