Hello guys, I’m new here and I wanna say sorry in advance for my grammar mistakes, English isn’t my first language, sometimes I mess up “her” and “him” lol
The facts:
-Been together for 2 years and 9 months.
-Broke up like 9 weeks ago.
-We struggled for a year before that at least but we still had happy phases.
-She tried to contact me for weeks after breaking up, although she was the one initiating the breakup and I was the one making the decision. So I think it was consensual. I didn’t wanna meet or talk to her at all because I felt I need time to sort things out for myself.
-She’s met two guys so far, two days after meeting the first one she called me in the middle of the night and we talked for 2 hours, had phone sex and all. She described the second guy as the exact opposite of me and she spent last night with him, they’ve been together until 4am at least but she’s not easy, we used to stay together for that long when we were dating and we didn’t have sex although I tried to initiate things.
Today I met her again. I wasn’t invited but her friends always come uninvited so I thought why wouldn’t I do the same? So I was at her’s again and it felt nostalgic a bit, her dog still recognized me and we were buddies again. That’s not the point though.
I just wanna say I made some if not all the mistakes that the original 5 steps article describes. And let’s leave it like that.
Her behavior was weird. I could still make her laugh with my corny jokes, she still mentioned some stuff about or relationship and whenever I tried to make her reminisce about our relationship she seemed neutral. I humiliated myself and I didn’t stick to my plan at all to stay cool and just talk to her casually but not like her friend or her ex-boyfriend. I panicked.
After leaving her appartment I blocked her on facebook. I feel like I should’ve asked her what she needs from me to ditch that other dude but there’s no coming back from the no contact phase yet, I don’t wanna seem weak.
My questions:
-Do I have a chance? Should I follow everything in the 5 steps article?
-Is she heading into a rebound relationship?
Thanks for your help in advance.
UPDATE:
So I got really fucked today, unfortunately not by her.
First I had to do something in her area and I suddenly have diarrhea. I had no idea where to go so I asked her if I can come up, do what I have to do and then leave. She said okay.
Then when I was about to leave she asked “how does that girl know I’m with a new guy?” and I was like bruh I told that girl (my childhood friend) not to say anything on facebook. But she did.
Then we started to talk. I read our story for her which I prepared for the letter when I contact her again - I thought why wouldn’t I go all in if I’m here. She smiled sometimes but she didn’t seem impressed. Then we started to talk about the past, how important it would’ve been to talk about how we feel and then she said: this new guy is worth enough for her to not talk about the past. And they’ve met in the last 2 weeks. She described him as mature (he’s 5 years older than me, I’m 23) and he has a purpose which I also have but I just can’t get the control over my life for a while for some reason.
Once I asked her: what can I do to make her ditch that guy? Her response: nothing.
She says she’s moved on and it breaks my heart because before our break up she was exactly the kind of girl I never wanted a relationship with and now, weeks after she tried to contact me she doesn’t care.
I think I’m done.
Any thoughts?
Sorry Greg, She’s done with you. She was very unhappy in the relationship even though there were good times. More bad aspects than good. Think on the things that drove her away. Focus on your own life make improvements where you can so you could be in a better relationship in the future with someone else…
The problem is I’ve never found it easy to give anything up. Before going out with her she rejected me countless times and then something happened…
Now I feel like I want her back and be patient about it but I don’t know what’s next. I made her meet me again tomorrow before she said all these but I don’t think it would be the best idea to meet although she has something I need back.
UPDATE #2:
I met her today again.
I didn’t take a single second to talk about our relationship or anything related to that. I tried to crack as many jokes as possible, talk about interesting and funny stuff and her body language changed since yesterday. Earlier she was all defensive and made borders with her arms and legs. Today she stretched her legs with her feet right next to me and I don’t mean it means she’s into me again but I believe she eased up a bit in my presence.
Matter of fact, we were supposed to meet at a bar. Well, she couldn’t make it to the bar but she invited me to her place - although I already had my beer on the table. So now she owes me a beer and I’m trying to get her to meet me on Saturday afternoon.
I feel like I’m on the right track finally.